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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26308618">There Will Be Time.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracoseratonin/pseuds/dracoseratonin'>dracoseratonin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Cute, Depression, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Gay Draco Malfoy, Gay Harry Potter, Good Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Horcrux Hunting, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Pining Draco Malfoy, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, Triggers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:21:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>62,515</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26308618</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracoseratonin/pseuds/dracoseratonin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>With his mental health steadily deteriorating and an impossible task weighing down on his shoulders, Draco Malfoy’s will to live is becoming weaker and weaker as the days pass by. Upon choosing a date and time, Draco stands at the top of the astronomy tower, revelling in the final moments of his life when Harry Potter pulls him back to safety and promises to save his life. Now Draco must fight a new battle within him and decide whether he will love the boy who lived or betray him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy &amp; Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>773</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Two Occasions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Draco Malfoy had seen Harry Potter cry on two rare occasions. The first had come a few days after the concluding of the disastrous Triwizard Tournament that not even Draco had enjoyed by the end. He was on his usual nightly stroll around the outside courtyard of the castle, it being the only time of the day where he could shake the relentless presence of the boys he had been forced to call his friends; Crabbe and Goyle. Draco found himself becoming increasingly misanthropic as the weather warmed and the leaves on the trees began to blossom and fill with vivid colour again. </p><p>He breathed in the air, allowing it to cleanse his insides as it filled him, and his fingers grazed across the stone walls as he walked. Draco closed his eyes, his feet guiding him along the familiar path; he revelled in the silence for a few moments, enjoying the solitude. But even this was short lived as the sound of soft weeping forced his eyes open. Draco stopped in place as he rounded a secluded, crumbling area behind the castle. He had expected an early year to be there, crying over the tragic death of Cedric Diggory that had seemingly shifted everyone’s mood lately. </p><p>But Draco was significantly taken aback to see no other than the famous Harry Potter seated on the crevice between two stone pillars with his face buried in his hands. His crying was anything but loud, it was muffled and strained as his body shook with a visible fragility to it. Despite the warm weather, Harry wore a thick black hoodie double his size and now, as he sat hunched over, the blackness seemed to be swallowing him.<br/>
Whilst Harry continued crying, Draco couldn’t bring himself to indicate his presence, his body felt as if he was being filled with cement that disallowed it to move in the slightest. A bitter taste filled his mouth, he struggled to determine what he was exactly feeling in that moment. Was it second-hand embarrassment? Disappointment? Or. Draco though, is this sympathy I’m feeling right now?</p><p>Whatever this indecisive emotion he was currently being invaded with; Draco knew for a tangible fact that he didn’t like it in the slightest. This boy crying in front of him was the same one Draco had sworn he would hate till the day he died. Harry Potter was a boy that made his skin crawl with the sensation of insects exploring it and made him act in malicious ways, even when his better judgement warned him not to. Yet, for Draco, Harry was also a boy who ensured he couldn’t sleep at night, filling his dreams on various nights with sweet moments that made him question what his own true motives were.</p><p>Draco stood still for what felt like several minutes, the sky began to darken around them, yet Harry did not lift his head up. His crying had stopped now, yet his body shook with the aftermath of hiccups. </p><p>What am I doing, Draco thought suddenly, shaking himself free of the restraints he had put on his body unconsciously. He coughed, loud enough to make himself known which caused Harry to quickly lift his head in embarrassment. His tear-stricken face fell even more into a frown as he noticed it wasn’t one of his friends, but Draco standing there with a blank face. </p><p>Harry stood up, taking up a protective stance with his hand on his pocket. Draco blinked at Harry acting as if he was a threat, it made sense after everything that occurred in the graveyard a few days prior. Yet Draco felt the sting in his heart. </p><p>‘What the hell do you want Malfoy?’ Harry said with contempt. </p><p>Draco opened his mouth to reply, but he realised he couldn’t conjure up a response. And so, he simply turned around and ran, his long legs carrying him further away from the boy who had lived.</p><p>For every day for the next year, Draco recalled this encounter from every angle he could think of. Even though Harry had most likely forgotten it had even occurred, Draco was stricken with immense regret. Whenever he saw Harry in the corridors surrounded by countless admirers, Draco wished he hadn’t run away that night. He wished that he had said something in response to Harry, something that could’ve possibly bridged a gap between them. But things only worsened as Draco’s father fought against Harry and his friends at the ministry. Things seemed irreparable now. </p><p>The second time Draco saw Harry cry was almost exactly a year after the first time. But this time, Draco had been crying nearby too. Not only had his father been arrested, but their manor had also been raided by the police. This was enough for his mother to send him countless letters to return home immediately, the parchment stained with what seemed like her dried tears. </p><p>Draco was stressed, knowing that once he got home, his mother would be hysterical and demand comfort from him. It wasn’t that he minded, he loved her more than anything and was more than willing to support her, but he knew his father’s imprisonment meant things were to change drastically. Not only would his previous ministry connections dissipate, his fellow death eaters would also look down on his failure to obtain the prophecy from the ministry. Draco didn’t even want to think about the dark lord’s reaction to all of this, it only made his stomach turn and made the trifle he’d eaten at dinner threaten to spill out of his mouth.</p><p>Draco’s mind was taken elsewhere as he heard Harry’s quiet sobs from the same deserted area behind the castle. A part of him wanted to walk away, back to the castle, to avoid facing Harry for a second time. Yet he had waited too long for another opening such as this to abandon it. And so, Draco again, took feeble steps towards Harry’s hunched figure, watching him with a softness as if his gaze was enough to break Harry further. </p><p>Harry rose his head at the sound of footsteps, the stray tears still trailing down his placid cheekbones.</p><p>‘You’re crying again.’ Draco said quietly, yet this went unnoticed by Harry who glared at him. </p><p>‘Why the hell are you here Malfoy?’</p><p>‘I...’ Draco trailed off as he stumbled closer. </p><p>‘Stay the hell away from me!’ Harry yelled, shuffling backwards with his wand raised. ‘If you’re here to seek revenge on your father’s behalf, save it. I don’t want to hear your pathetic nonsense right now.’</p><p>‘That’s not why I’m here.’ </p><p>‘Then what?’ </p><p>Harry’s gaze lingered on Draco’s eyes, they were raw and red and were enough to get Harry to lower his wand. He was surprised that Draco was even here, in such a vulnerable state, in front of him as if he was ready to offer any form of comfort his body would allow. </p><p>‘Shouldn’t you be at home having a meeting with mother dearest and your good old friend Voldemort?’ Harry spat.</p><p>‘Don’t say a word about my mother.’ Draco threatened, a furious look taking over his fair features. </p><p>‘Let me mourn in peace then.’ Harry turned his back to him as he said this, using the sleeves of his sweatshirt to furiously rub at his eyes. He was finding it hard to control his grief lately. Harry had thought Cedric’s death was one of the most difficult things he would have to overcome, but the loss of his godfather was much more torturous. </p><p>‘I’m sorry.’ Draco whispered, loud enough for Harry to turn towards him in a mixture of anger and shock. </p><p>‘What are you exactly sorry for Malfoy?’ </p><p>‘For what my aunt did,’ Draco said helplessly, unaware as to where his indifference had disappeared to. ‘I heard he was your godfather.’</p><p>Harry stood with his mouth parted, feeling as if he was currently hallucinating this soft and feeble Draco Malfoy standing in front of him. ‘Is this some kind of joke?’</p><p>Draco furrowed his brows, ‘no, why would it be?’</p><p>‘Because we,’ Harry gestured between their bodies, ‘hate each other. You haven’t been nice to me ever since I rejected your offer of friendship in first year and now, you’re here acting out of character by apologising to me.’</p><p>‘Would you rather I say something cruel then or what?’ Draco took a few steps closer to him, yet Harry didn’t move back this time. ‘I’ve seen you cry twice now Potter and both times my father’s been part of the reason as to why. I should be angry at you like usual but, you clearly have it harder than me right now.’</p><p>Without his permission, a tear escaped from the corner of Harry’s eyes. He hadn’t known how much he had needed someone to acknowledge his pain until now. His friends had avoided the topic, deciding that Harry was better off dealing with his emotions in private. But Harry had needed the opposite, he had wanted pity so desperately. And Draco was the only one giving it to him. </p><p>‘Go.’ Harry muttered. </p><p>‘What?’ Draco moved closer as to grasp Harry’s arm, but Harry pulled his body back as if Draco would infect him with something poisonous.</p><p>‘Just leave me alone, please.’ </p><p>The desperation in Harry’s voice was enough to convince Draco that there was nothing more he could do to help, and he nodded. Everything in him yearned for him to stay and push Harry’s boundaries, but Draco knew that he didn’t deserve the right to do this. Not after the many years he and his family had tormented Harry when he was already suffering. </p><p>As Draco walked away for a second time, he felt his heart sting again. It was as if his and Harry’s hearts were now connected and carrying the same wavelength of pain. As if they were made to merge with each other.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Suspicions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a relatively cold august evening and Harry was awaiting Dumbledore’s arrival as he had outlined in his letter. Despite the excitement of assisting Dumbledore on whatever his mission tonight was, Harry’s mind was fixated on the topic of Draco Malfoy. His eyes wavered towards the pile of letters Draco had sent him over the first few weeks of their summer vacation. Some were merely a few lines, badly executed jokes but others were longer, stories that drew Harry in and made him forget the narrator was the boy he hated.<br/>
At first, Harry had been confused as to why Draco of all people was writing to him, especially when he had never told him his address before. But as Harry found himself laughing about a story Draco recounted about his childhood dog almost swallowing one of his mother’s garden gnomes, he realised he had begun to enjoy the letters. He had even begun leaving his window open for his family owl to fly in and deliver them. This alarmed Harry, to a degree where he swore he wouldn’t open any more of the letters. Yet, only one more came and after that, the letters ceased all together.</p><p>Harry couldn’t help but feel disappointment swell within him because of this. He had missed receiving regular letters after Sirius’s passing and even though his friends promised to write often, their letters were sparse and trivial. Draco’s letters had been the only consistent ones and now even they were gone.<br/>
As he packed his trunk for the burrow, Harry hesitated whether to take the letters with him or not. He stared at them for several moments before stuffing them at the top of the trunk amongst mismatched socks before shutting it and hurrying down to meet Dumbledore.</p><p>***</p><p>‘Harry! Wake up already, it’s almost noon for god’s sake!’</p><p>Harry found himself shaken awake by non-other than Hermione the next morning. He rubbed the tiredness of another tumultuous night of sleep away from his eyes as he sat up.</p><p>‘Hermione,’ Harry groaned, opening his eyes to see Ron grinning at him with his mouth filled with chocolate.</p><p>‘Mums just told us you were here, we thought you’d be arriving tonight.’ Ron said, chewing in between words.</p><p>‘Dumbledore picked me up early.’</p><p>‘Dumbledore?’ Hermione exclaimed excitedly and stood in front of Harry with an eager expression on her face that persisted.</p><p>Harry nodded, ‘he needed my help in recruiting a new teacher, apparently I’m a pretty convincing person.’</p><p>Ron snorted at this.</p><p>‘Well what’s he like?’ Hermione pestered as Harry got out of bed and stretched his arms behind him.</p><p>‘Strange. What’s for breakfast?’</p><p>‘Breakfast is long gone mate. Mum’s making lunch right now so we can eat before we’re escorted to Diagon Alley.’ Ron explained, picking up a peculiar looking toy from one of the twins bedside tables.</p><p>‘We have to be escorted?’ Harry asked.</p><p>He had been too immersed in his conversation with Ron to realise that Hermione had opened his trunk in an attempt to choose some clothes for him. It was only when she let out a gasp that Harry turned towards her in haste and saw one of Draco’s letters in her hands.</p><p>‘Why on earth is Draco Malfoy writing letters to you?’ She said in indignation, her eyes following the words written. ‘Has he gone utterly and completely insane?’</p><p>Harry was quick to snatch the letter from Hermione’s hands and crumple it in his fist. ‘Your guess is better than mine ‘Mione. I’ve been meaning to throw them away.’ He lied.</p><p>‘Malfoy’s sending you owls?’ Ron said in equal shock, looking from the letters to Harry’s face as if a reason would appear out of thin air and make itself known.</p><p>‘Just how many has he been sending?’ Hermione questioned, crossing her arms as she frowned deeply.</p><p>‘A few and then they randomly stopped.’</p><p>‘Blimey…’Ron muttered, ‘he’s really taking this whole evil Slytherin thing a bit too seriously.’</p><p>‘But that’s the thing,’ Hermione said, looking confused for once. ‘They’re not filled with threats or crude rantings, if anything…he sounds almost kind?’</p><p>Harry violently shook his head, his body warming up with unease. The last thing he wanted was for his friends to think he was friends with Draco, especially since he wasn’t. He couldn’t even answer Hermione’s curious questions when he also had no valid answers for himself.</p><p>‘It’s probably just a ploy,’ Harry said quickly and moved forward to scrunch the rest of the letters in his hands.</p><p>‘Probably,’ Ron agreed.</p><p>Hermione stood quietly as she watched Harry rip the letters up and throw them into the metal bin. Harry ensured that no one would be able to read them now and that they were forever unobtainable. Yet this made him slightly glum, a part of Harry had wanted to keep them, but he knew it was an irrational want.</p><p>‘It wasn’t a very clever ploy was it?’ Hermione observed.</p><p>Harry nodded along, his stomach gurgling loudly. Ron grinned and stood up from the bed.</p><p>‘Let’s go see if Mum’s finished with lunch.’</p><p>And with that, the topic of Draco Malfoy’s letters was forgotten and replaced with the various supplies they were to buy that afternoon. They had been compiling their shopping lists when their O.W.L results had arrived. Harry felt his spirits lift as he scanned his grades, finding that he hadn’t completely failed every subject as he had pessimistically predicted. After eating the delicious lunch prepared by Mrs Weasley, they had all gotten dressed and piled into the ministry car that would take them to Diagon Alley.<br/>
Harry hadn’t realised how exhausting shopping was until it was time for their yearly back to school trip. But this time, their trip was distinctly different from the previous years. Not only did they need the security of Hagrid as they went from store to store, but every building was tainted with a sense of unease and fear. Everyone was on edge, afraid of the circumstances that had fallen upon the wizarding world with the return of Voldemort and his followers. The trio stopped outside one of the only remaining stores on the street: Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.</p><p>‘Harry you’re the only one who needs new robes. Why don’t you go in whilst Ron and I stay outside with Hagrid?’ Hermione suggested, eyeing the group of people already in the shop.</p><p>Harry nodded, ‘I shouldn’t be long.’</p><p>As Harry entered the shop, he heard Hagrid begin to tell both Ron and Hermione an amusing story about Buckbeak settling back into his previous home. He sighed as he stood behind the group of people, knowing it would probably take longer than he had originally expected.</p><p>‘I said not to touch my arm, didn’t I?’ A familiar voice sneered to Harry’s left. He turned his head to see Draco standing in front of a visibly nervous Madam Malkin pinning at his robes.</p><p>Harry was taken aback by how much weight Draco had lost, his usual prominent cheekbones were even more visible now, perched higher on his face. His icy grey eyes were free of the childishness he displayed whenever he teased Harry and were now devoid of any emotion. As Madam Malkin accidentally poked Draco’s side, he yelped out and his handsome face became contorted with displeasure.</p><p>‘I’ve had enough mother.’ He snapped and shrugged off the robes which fell onto the ground around him. ‘I’ll just get my robes elsewhere.’</p><p>Narcissa Malfoy stood near, her eyes searing holes at Madam Malkin as she listened to her son. ‘Yes, that will work just fine. We should be getting to our appointment now.’</p><p>Draco’s expression significantly darkened at this and having not noticed Harry behind the family already waiting, they left the shop. Harry’s interest was piqued by Narcissa mentioning an appointment and he considered ignoring his curiosity for the sake of a pair of fresh robes. However, Harry found his interest could not be quelled and he took out his invisibility cloak, swinging it over his body.</p><p>In a haste to follow Draco and his mother who were busy walking down the street towards Knockturn Alley, Harry didn’t notice it was only Hermione waiting for him now.<br/>
‘Harry?’ Hermione said behind him. Her eyes focused on his exposed ankles that now showed under the invisibility cloak as he had grown taller.</p><p>‘Quick, get under.’ Harry lifted the edge of the invisibility cloak to let Hermione under, covering both of their bodies from view.</p><p>‘Harry, what on earth are you doing?’</p><p>‘Malfoy,’ Harry said out of breath with his eyes focused on Draco’s figure that disappeared around the corner towards what Harry recognised to be Knockturn Alley. ‘I overheard his mother talking about some kind of appointment, it sounded suspicious.’</p><p>Even though Hermione didn’t say anything in response and followed Harry towards Knockturn Alley, he knew she thought he was overreacting. Harry didn’t have any room to defend his reason as they abruptly stopped around the corner of the store Draco and his mother were walking into. The name Borgin &amp; Burkes glistened amongst the darkness of the alley and Harry held his breath as Draco glanced over his shoulder. Goosebumps arose on the surface of Harry’s skin as it felt as if Draco had looked in the direction in which they were standing.</p><p>‘Borgin and Burkes. I’ve heard of it before; they supposedly specialise in Dark artifices.’ Hermione whispered.</p><p>‘Look at what Malfoy’s doing.’</p><p>Draco stood next to a tall, black cabinet that loomed over his already lean figure and made him look smaller than he was. He was touching the surface of it with his right hand as his mother spoke to the man attending the shop. An equally stern expression was spread across her features, allowing Harry to notice how alike the mother and son were. As Draco said something, both his mother and the attendant turned towards him. Draco’s body visibly stiffened as the attendant said something in response.</p><p>‘He seems pretty angry.’</p><p>Harry nodded in response, his eyes lingering on the cabinet which Draco’s hand was still leaned against. A chill swept across his body as Draco sneered at the man, his inaudible words seemingly harsh enough to make the attendant pale. Harry found himself questioning whether the Draco who had sent him letters was the same as the one in front of him right now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter = the infamous train scene</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Warning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘So, you’re telling me you both went off on an adventure without me and you’re only telling me now?’ Ron exclaimed as the trio sat in their usual carriage on the Hogwarts Express.</p><p>With the last day before they returned being filled with numerous order members visiting the burrow, Harry and Hermione hadn’t gotten the chance to fill Ron in on what they had witnessed in Knockturn Alley. Harry couldn’t help but find his mind consumed with Draco and the outlandish cabinet he had been touching even when Ginny had tried to gain his attention with her coy remarks.</p><p>‘It was hardly an adventure Ron.’ Hermione corrected him as she glanced at Harry, ‘plus, I don’t think Knockturn Alley is particularly somewhere anyone would want to be.’</p><p>Harry stayed silent, watching the blurred greenery pass by the window.</p><p>‘Well anyone except The Malfoys and death eaters.’ Ron replied.</p><p>‘The Malfoys are death eaters though.’ Harry murmured, shifting his gaze towards his two best friends.</p><p>Hermione let out a sigh at this and shook her head at him. ‘Not this again Harry.’</p><p>‘What’s going on?’ Ron looked between his friends who were now both staring at each other as if a competition was brewing between them.</p><p>‘Harry’s forming some kind of conspiracy- ‘</p><p>‘But it makes sense, doesn’t it?’ Harry interrupted, his brows knitting in the middle of his forehead as he spoke fiercely. ‘His entire families full of death eaters. It’s only normal that Malfoy’s one too now. Especially since he was staring a bit too intensely at that cabinet thing.’</p><p>Hermione snorted, ‘if standing next to a cabinet makes him a death eater then aren’t we all death eaters?’</p><p>‘It’s not about the damn cabinet Hermione, it’s the shop the cabinet was in!’ Harry’s tone increased in desperation as he tried to convince his friends.</p><p>‘Malfoy’s a child.’ Hermione replied, visibly doubtful of Harry’s suspicions.</p><p>Harry looked towards Ron for support, knowing he at least would consider what Harry was saying.</p><p>‘I mean, Harry’s suspicions aren’t so far fetched considering Malfoy’s background.’ Ron said, rubbing the back of his neck feebly as Hermione glared at him. ‘But him being at Borgin and Burkes isn’t much proof.’</p><p>‘Exactly what I’ve been trying to say!’ Hermione said as Harry fell back into his seat in defeat.</p><p>Even though his friends didn’t find this occurrence something worth investigating, Harry strongly felt the opposite. There was something in his brain that wouldn’t allow him to forget the image of Draco with his palm pressed against the cabinet and Harry could tell it was some type of warning from his brain.</p><p>‘Come on mate, don’t look so annoyed.’ Ron said, leaning towards him. ‘You’ve already got you know who lingering around, I doubt you have to worry about Malfoy.’</p><p>Harry only nodded, too tired with the conversation to persuade his friends any further. As both Hermione and Ron left for prefect duty several minutes later, Harry found it difficult to control his jerking knee. He knew Draco was most likely in the Slytherin carriage right now, detailing his newfound death eater identity to the rest of his cronies. If only Harry could be there right now, he would hear everything and prove to Hermione and Ron that he wasn’t being paranoid.</p><p>Harry felt in his pocket for his invisibility cloak and again swept it over his body. He knew that what he was doing was reckless, after all he was potentially putting himself at risk of being caught by unfriendly Slytherins. He knew they wouldn’t take lightly to anyone – especially Harry Potter – eavesdropping on their conversations but Harry had decided it was worth a try. If only he could obtain some form of concrete proof about Malfoy, he would be nipping a problem in the bud.</p><p>As an unfamiliar Slytherin student was walking into the crowded carriage reserved for sixth years, Harry quickly slipped past him. He moved towards an empty area where no one was seated and upon scanning the carriage, Harry easily located Draco ahead of him. He was seated amongst people Harry recognised as his supposed friends: Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson and Vincent Crabbe.</p><p>‘Shit!’</p><p>Harry had been too focused on analysing Draco to notice that his foot had been jerked out from the seat, causing a petite boy to trip and sprawl onto the floor of the train. A few of his fellow students laughed and jeered for him to watch where he was going. Draco, however, turned to look at the commotion and his piercing eyes lingered on the area where Harry sat. Harry held his breath as he waited for Draco’s gaze to divert itself, but it lingered for several moments.</p><p>‘Draco did you hear what I said?’ Pansy Parkinson called, snapping her fingers in front of Draco’s face.</p><p>‘Hm, what did you say?’ Draco – to Harry’s relief – turned his attention towards the raven-haired girl.</p><p>‘I said, are you taking potions this year?’</p><p>‘Of course, I am.’ Draco said, the irritation in his tone made his words seem harsher. ‘Besides what does it matter, it’s not like potions class will be useful by next year.’</p><p>‘Didn’t you show interest in wanting to be an auror.’ Blaise said.</p><p>Draco let out a bitter laugh, one he had probably intended to sound indifferent. But Harry could tell his façade was threatening to disintegrate at any moment.</p><p>‘Not anymore. I guess you could say I’m onto bigger things now.’</p><p>His friends went mute at this, a silent understanding passing between them. Harry became swelled with dissatisfaction. Draco’s words were vague enough to ensure Harry couldn’t criminalise him or make any conclusions as to what he had meant. And as Draco said no more, he realised it was a wasted trip and now Harry couldn’t even leave without pushing past the students sitting near the exit. He would have to wait here quietly till they reached Hogwarts.</p><p>Harry wondered what Hermione and Ron would think when they would return to a now empty carriage. Hermione especially would know he was doing something impulsive and Harry was already silent bracing himself for the lecture she would give him as the train slowed down. The Slytherin students began to chatter incessantly as they collected their trunks and caged pets and began to trail out of the carriage. All of them except Draco were standing up and as Harry noticed him wave away his friends, an uneasiness filled his gut.</p><p>And a few minutes later, the carriage was silent aside from both Draco and Harry’s muted breathing.</p><p>‘That’s the second time you’ve followed me now Potter.’ Draco drawled. He stood up; his palms pressed against the table as he turned his head.</p><p>Harry made an attempt to move but before he could, Draco had already shot a spell at him.</p><p>‘Petrificus Totalus!’</p><p>The invisibility cloak was ripped away from Harry’s body as his petrified form fell onto the floor with a thud. His eyes focused on Draco’s nearing footsteps; he was wearing his polished leather shoes that glistened with the light above him. Draco’s feet stopped directly in front of Harry’s face.</p><p>‘You see, I was ready to let the first time go.’ Draco muttered, ‘but, you just can’t help being nosy? Can you?’</p><p>Before Harry could register the fact that Draco knew about his invisibility cloak, Draco’s foot kicked at Harry’s nose. The blood trickled down his face and the pain that Harry couldn’t express through his vocal cords shot through his entire body like a virus.</p><p>‘Consider that a warning.’</p><p>With that, Draco walked out of the carriage, his footsteps resounding all around Harry who wished to be anywhere else but here right now. He wished that one of his friends would report him missing as soon as they reached the castle, this was the only hope he had. But as he lay motionless, having nothing else but his surroundings to be alert of, Harry again heard the sound of footsteps coming closer to where he was.  He cheered in his head, knowing his Gryffindor classmates would never disappoint him. But he was taken aback to see Draco’s shoes again. He had come back for Harry.</p><p>‘Finite Incantatem.’ Draco whispered, bent down next to Harry’s body that was now slowly regaining its motion.</p><p>As soon as his body could move again, Harry was quick to sit up with indignation spread across his blood-stricken face. ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’<br/>Draco remained stoic, simply staring at Harry’s face. He didn’t say anything in response.</p><p>‘What’s the point of petrifying me and giving me a nosebleed if you’re just gonna come back and undo it?’ Harry exclaimed.</p><p>‘Would you rather I left you here for an early trip back to London?’</p><p>‘Well, no. But – ‘</p><p>‘Then hurry up before the train begins moving.’</p><p>Harry scrambled onto his feet with his invisibility cloak clutched in his hands as he followed Draco who had already began walking away. They had both just about made it onto the now deserted platform when the Hogwarts Express began to move its gears for its journey back to London. Harry leaned over, his hands resting on his kneecaps as he attempted to regain his breath.</p><p>‘Looks like we’re going to have to walk.’ Draco observed.</p><p>Harry pressed his sleeve to his bleeding nose, ‘I wonder whose fault that is.’</p><p>Draco only shot him a glare before he began walking in the direction of the castle. He wedged his hands into the pockets of his stark black suit. Harry followed him, trying to ignore the throbbing in his nose. He was just relieved that his nose didn’t seem to be broken. Even though Draco had kicked him with an antagonised force, Harry felt as if he had held back slightly.</p><p>‘Why’d you come back for me?’ Harry asked, falling in step with Draco now.</p><p>‘I didn’t fancy getting in trouble on the first night back.’ Draco replied immediately, his answer seemed already rehearsed and ready.</p><p>A silence lapsed as the tips of the castle became visible. Harry didn’t believe Draco’s reasoning, but the exhaustion of the night’s events stopped him from saying anything further. With the spasms in his stomach accelerating, Harry realised just how hungry he was and his mouth watered with thoughts of the feast in the castle.</p><p>‘They’re beautiful.’</p><p>Draco’s words were so quiet that Harry almost didn’t hear them. He followed Draco’s captivated gaze to see it was focused on the herd of Thestrals that usually pulled the Hogwarts carriages. Realisation dawned upon Harry. Draco hadn’t been able to see them in the previous years.</p><p>‘You can see them?’ Harry asked, staring at the side of Draco’s face in surprise.</p><p>Draco nodded, ‘stop looking at me Potter.’ He seethed and fastened his pace, a look of fear passing over his face momentarily before he repressed it again.</p><p>Harry stared at his now tense back, his mouth slightly dry. He wondered who Draco had seen die over the summer and whether this was the reason his skin was tainted with a placid elasticity. There was an excessive amount of new information about Draco that had been unveiled to Harry tonight and he figured that this was the cause of the headache now brewing in his temple. Draco’s inconsistent actions were almost giving him whiplash.</p><p>‘Where on heaven's earth have you both been?’ Professor Snape’s familiar bitter voice exclaimed as both Harry and Draco walked through the iron gates of the castle.</p><p>Snape was visibly seething, his eyes shifting from Draco to Harry for an explanation from either one of them. But both boys were mute, one covered in his own blood and the other looking implicitly guilty.</p><p>‘Professor Flitwick can deal with you Potter.’ Snape said, saying his name between clenched teeth. ‘I suggest you follow me to my office Mr Malfoy.’</p><p>Draco swallowed but nodded in obedience, not sparing Harry another glance as he followed Snape into the castle ground. Harry frowned, wondering why Snape had focused more on punishing Draco than him. But a few moments later, Harry was interrogated and searched by Professor Flitwick as soon as Draco was out of sight and after several minutes, he had finally allowed Harry to go to the Great Hall. His friend’s faces flooded with relief as he made his way down the Gryffindor aisle to his usual seat. Whispers surrounded him on every side, curious students baffled by his blood-stricken clothes and lack of uniform.</p><p>‘What happened to you?’ Hermione said as Ron stopped shovelling food into his mouth to give Harry a look.</p><p>‘I tripped.’ Harry dismissed and picked up the goblet closest to him and guzzled its sweet contents.</p><p>‘You tripped?’</p><p>Harry nodded, avoiding Hermione’s eyes as he filled his plate with the roasted potatoes in front of him.</p><p>‘No offence mate but you look a bit too smashed up for someone who just tripped.’ Ron added.</p><p>Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas who had been listening in suddenly averted their eyes as Harry glanced at them.</p><p>‘Slughorn wanted to see me, so I got caught up and tripped trying to make it to the platform in time.’ Harry lied, knowing there were significant gaps in the flimsy excuse he had just conjured up.</p><p>‘But- ‘</p><p>‘Maybe you should interrogate him later ‘Mione.’ Ron cut in, to Harry’s relief, ‘Harry looks pretty tired and besides, Dumbledore’s about to give his welcome speech.’</p><p>Ron nodded to where Dumbledore was now standing, behind the podium engraved with the Hogwarts crest. Harry gave Ron a silent thank you as Hermione’s attention was immediately stolen away from the topic of his disappearance. For now, his excuse would work. But this being the first night back, Harry wasn’t sure of the many other problems that would eventually befall upon him over the rest of the school year. And to his dismay, there would be many involving Draco Malfoy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Chapters will slowly get longer &lt;3 Thank you for reading &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Liquid Luck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was hellish for Harry the next morning. His first day back was usually filled him with an immense build up of excitement and even with the sleepiness still roaring through his veins, he would still get up almost immediately to get ready. But this night’s worth of nightmares had left him drained to the bone, his eyes burning with the acidity of daylight and head thudding with exhaustion. When Ron had practically shaken him awake, Harry had just wanted to smother himself with his duvet. He had even contemplated skipping his first few classes for the sake of his sanity, but after a few moments of deliberation, he knew he didn’t want to miss his first day.</p><p>As both Harry and Ron trudged into the Great Hall several minutes later, they found Hermione and Ginny already seated and smiling knowingly at them. Ron was quick to begin shovelling various breakfast foods onto his plate.</p><p>‘Calm down Ronald. The food isn’t going anywhere.’ Hermione lectured; her eyes focused on the open daily prophet in front of her.</p><p>Harry glanced at it to see another death eater attack grazing the front page and immediately looked away. His stomach was already turning enough of its own accord.</p><p>‘Your nose looks better.’ Ginny said, causing him to turn towards her.</p><p>Harry let out a laugh, ‘does it?’</p><p>‘Well,’ Ginny replied, a small smile dancing on her lips. ‘It’s not bleeding anymore so yes.’</p><p>‘You’re lucky it didn’t break.’ Hermione cut in, her eyes studying Harry’s ashen features.</p><p>‘I’m sure you would’ve fixed it for me even if it did.’</p><p>Hermione rolled her eyes at him and as she noticed Harry’s empty plate, she placed a slice of toast onto it. Harry swallowed as he stared at it, knowing his friends were all waiting for him to begin eating. Lately, food had begun to seem less appetising to his palette and Harry knew everyone at the burrow had noticed his feeble attempts of eating. Withstanding the discomfort, Harry picked it up and took a slightly larger bite than he usually took and began to chew.</p><p>This was enough to satisfy Hermione and she began discussing the classes she had chosen for her N.E.W.T classes with Ginny. As if Harry could sense it, he looked up ahead at the Slytherin table to see Draco’s gaze trained on him, his face leaned against his palm. Draco’s expression was as indifferent as ever, there being no room for Harry to interpret what he was thinking. But as his cloudy eyes met Harry’s, he averted his gaze to focus onto his sparse plate instead.</p><p>‘Both of you eat quicker,’ Hermione dictated, stealing away Harry’s attention. ‘We have double potions in five minutes.’</p><p>Harry sighed. He wasn’t prepared for their potion’s lessons at all, having not even expecting to be allowed into N.E.W.T classes till Professor McGonagall told him his grades were eligible. Not only did he have no book and no materials, but their potions lessons were always joined with the Slytherins. It was seemingly difficult to escape Draco recently.</p><p>And as the trio entered the classroom, there he was, already standing amongst his Slytherin peers who were busy sneering at the Gryffindors in their midst. Professor Slughorn was overjoyed at the sight of Harry and ushered him to gladly borrow a textbook from the cupboard. Even though the textbook Harry had chosen was breaking at the spine and visibly aged, he figured it would do for now.</p><p>As Harry moved towards where his peers stood at the front of the class in front of three, full cauldrons of potions he didn’t recognise, he felt an overpowering scent fill the air around him.</p><p>‘Can anyone tell me what you think each of these potions may be?’ Slughorn asked enthusiastically, looking from student to student.</p><p>Hermione’s hand shot up almost instantly. ‘Please sir, the first one seems to be Veritaserum. A truth telling potion as people most commonly refer to it as.’</p><p>Slughorn beamed, ‘right you are, Miss?’</p><p>‘Granger, sir.’</p><p>‘Ah yes, Miss Granger.’ Slughorn repeated, his eyes swept over towards Harry. ‘Now can anyone besides Miss Granger tell me what the second potion might be.’</p><p>Harry could tell Hermione was bursting to state the answer again, yet Slughorn’s lingering on Harry made it clear that he hoped he would answer. Shifting nervously from one foot to the other, Harry stayed silent not knowing what it could be.</p><p>‘It’s Amortentia.’ Draco spoke up instead, ‘the most powerful love potion.’</p><p>Slughorn didn’t look happy that it was Draco had answered, his expression falling slightly at the boy’s darkened look.</p><p>‘Yes Mr Malfoy, you are quite right.’</p><p>Draco shrugged as if it was nothing, seemingly breathing in the fumes of the potion.</p><p>‘Like Mr Malfoy told us, this is indeed one of the most powerful love potions. So powerful and dangerous that it smells different to every person according to what exactly attracts them.’ Slughorn told them.</p><p>Harry gazed curiously at the steaming pot; his book pressed against his side.</p><p>‘Harry my boy!’ Slughorn exclaimed abruptly, ‘why don’t you give it a go and tell us what you smell.’</p><p>Everyone but Draco looked towards him, the scorching heat of their gazes numbed Harry’s skin as he stumbled forward. The bite of toast he had eaten earlier swirled in his stomach as he stationed himself in front of the cauldron, trying to take in its scent as best as he could.</p><p>‘What do you smell?’ Slughorn prompted.</p><p>The fumes of the potion went straight to Harry’s head, clouding his thoughts for a few moments and before he could stop himself, he had spoken the truth.</p><p>‘Cologne.’</p><p>The intoxication he felt dissipated as soon as Hermione’s gasp was heard from behind him and Harry’s body was burning now.</p><p>‘And Quidditch robes and fresh grass.’ He hurriedly spluttered, trying to rectify his previous mistake.</p><p>Slughorn didn’t react as Harry had expected, quickly moving the subject onto what he personally smelt to avoid lingering on Harry’s answer. As Harry turned to retake his position next to Ron, he noticed that everyone was avoiding his eyes now, everyone except Draco. The same indifference radiated from his lean body as he tilted his head, his icy eyes filled with thoughts Harry would never hear. Harry shivered now, hoping his words would be forgotten across the course of the lesson. But he knew this was highly unlikely.</p><p>‘Bunch of bullshit that potion,’ Ron whispered to Harry as they stood side by side again. It was his attempt to make Harry less embarrassed.</p><p>‘Yeah.’ Harry agreed, knowing it was anything but bullshit.</p><p>‘And now, this final potion- ‘</p><p>‘Liquid luck,’ Hermione interrupted, her eyes focused clearly on the vial of clear liquid.</p><p>‘Yes, indeed this is a curious little potion, Felix Felicis, commonly known as Liquid Luck. One drop and the taker is the luckiest person in that moment, gearing on the edge of being successful in whatever they do.’ Slughorn explained, ‘and it seems like you’re all in luck ladies and gentlemen, for whoever in the next hour brews a perfect draft of Living Death will receive one vial. I hope that should be your motivation to work hard this lesson.’</p><p>Harry’s attention was piqued by this, having a vial of such a potion would prove to be particularly useful to his fight against Voldemort. Yet he couldn’t help but let out a sigh, knowing his potion-making skills were subpar at best. As he gathered his materials and opened his textbook, Harry noticed the marking on the first page.</p><p>‘This book is property of the Half-Blood Prince.’</p><p>Harry flicked through the book to see every page was marked by scribbles from the mysterious prince person and he frowned, knowing making the potion would be drastically more difficult now. As he glanced towards Draco’s table to see him already busily working on his potion with a determined crease in his face, competition soared within Harry in waves. He began readily to read the instructions, at first trying to ignore the black handwriting wedged in between each line; however, as it became increasingly hard to ignore the corrections, he gave in.</p><p>‘What’re you doing?’ Hermione inquired, eyeing Harry’s actions. ‘That’s not what the instructions said to do.’</p><p>Harry only shrugged, ‘I’m winging it.’</p><p>Ron looked from Hermione’s dishevelled appearance and frustration to Harry’s bright spark and decided on which friend to copy for this lesson. He peered curiously at whatever Harry did and followed suit. But as Harry leaned over his textbook, Ron – who had been attempting to sneak a look at the colour of his potion – accidentally spilt a portion of the vial he had been holding into it. An abrupt spark resounded from the cauldron.</p><p>‘Shit!’</p><p>Harry snapped his head up, ‘what happened?’</p><p>‘I…’ Ron trailed off, looking guilty, ‘I accidentally dropped something into your cauldron whilst trying to gain a look.’</p><p>‘Ron!’</p><p>‘I’m sorry!’ Ron quickly said, ‘I really didn’t mean to mate.’</p><p>Harry let out a sigh, already noticing a strange shade of colour seeping into the liquid in his cauldron as he lifted the ladle. He wasn’t sure if the damage was irreversible, there being nothing in the prince’s textbook to indicate what to do in this particular circumstance. Harry could only hope that strictly following the further corrected instructions would aid him in saving the contents of his cauldron, however it soon became apparent that this wasn’t going to happen.</p><p>‘Harry my boy!’ Slughorn said in indignation as he peered at his cauldron, ‘you were doing so well! What on earth went wrong?’</p><p>Harry glanced at Ron briefly before saying, ‘just a minor mishap.’</p><p>‘This is more than minor son,’ Slughorn frowned in disappointment as he lifted the ladle before letting it splash back into the defeated potion. ‘I did have high hopes, but I guess…everyone has their off days.’</p><p>Slughorn was quick to meander off after he said this, attempting to find a replacement winner. Ron whispered apologies to Harry to which he smiled at, not finding any further advantage in being angry with his best friend. Hermione, however, looked almost relieved that Harry hadn’t won, her competitive streak showing.</p><p>‘Merlin’s beard!’</p><p>The Gryffindor students turned their heads in the direction where Slughorn was suddenly standing. Harry’s mouth dried as he realised Slughorn was staring at Draco’s cauldron, his ashen eyebrows raised in surprise.</p><p>‘It’s perfect Mr Malfoy!’</p><p>Draco’s sullen features became uplifted at this, his muted lips stretching into a smile for the first time that day. His pale hair was no longer styled neatly, but messy upon his head and signalled he had worked hard to ensure the vial of Felix Felicis was his alone. And to Harry’s dismay, it was. Slughorn was haste in crowning Draco the winner as he clasped his hand onto Draco’s shoulder, suddenly more interested in the Slytherin boy.</p><p>As the trio exited the classroom, on route to their Transfiguration lesson, they passed by the same group of Slytherins they had just shared Potions with. Draco sat in the middle of them, listening to them praise his win in class as if he was a noble king of some sort. Harry scoffed as he heard their veiled compliments.</p><p>‘Didn’t know you fancied lads Potter.’</p><p>Harry turned his head to see it was Blaise Zabini who had spoken, a smirk on his lips as his peers joined him in jeering at Harry. Draco didn’t even raise his eyes to look, seemingly uninterested in the entire affair.</p><p>‘Shut up Zabini.’ Ron said on his behalf and pulled Harry along with him.</p><p>‘Can you believe them? Coming to conclusions like that when girls can wear cologne too!’ Hermione hissed as they crossed the lawn.</p><p>Harry could only nod in response. The conflict within him increased tenfold.</p><p>***</p><p>By ten pm, Harry had finally collapsed onto the array of blankets on his bed, the fatigue leaving his entire body dried up. He had had to practically pry himself away from Hermione’s incessant comments about his new potion’s textbook. She was convinced that the Half Blood Prince was some treacherous wizard and that the book – like Tom Riddle’s diary – was some type of dark artifice. With Ron’s help, Harry had shaken her concern with a yawn that prompted him to head to the dorms.</p><p>‘Of all people, it had to be Malfoy Slughorn chose.’ Ron said abruptly as both boys lay lazily on their respective red and gold beddings.</p><p>Draco Malfoy. Harry hadn’t been able to shake him from his mind. He had desperately tried, focusing on the Quidditch trials that were quickly approaching.  But no matter what Harry diverted himself towards, Draco always seemed to dive back into his mind and settle himself down comfortably. Harry swallowed as he realised, he hadn’t told his friends about the train occurrence. Telling Hermione remained out of the question, considering how she had reacted to the textbook, she would again lecture Harry. But telling Ron…Harry knew was probably a sound idea.</p><p>‘I lied yesterday when I said I tripped.’ Harry mumbled.</p><p>‘I know mate.’</p><p>‘I was spying on Malfoy in the Slytherin carriage.’</p><p>Ron sat up in one swift motion, ‘did you hear anything?’</p><p>‘Not much. All he said was that he was onto bigger things.’ Harry explained, ‘he knew I was there, so my guess is he probably didn’t say anything incriminating on purpose.’</p><p>‘Sounds like a Malfoy thing to do. What a git.’ Ron seethed out, his hatred for Malfoy clearly showing in his words.</p><p>‘God knows what he plans to do with the Liquid Luck he won today.’ Harry said bitterly, the image of Draco’s expression of victory that had unfairly lightened up his blurred complexion pitched in his mind.</p><p>‘Just follow him on the map.’</p><p>Harry practically scrambled towards his trunk to obtain his map as Ron said this. It had completely slipped his mind that he could easily track every move Draco made thanks to his father and co. Whispering the magic words that enlivened the map, Harry’s fingertips traced the coarse parchment in search of Draco’s name. Harry had expected him to be lingering the corridors, committing some suspicious deed, however as he located Draco to be in the Slytherin common room, he sighed in discontentment.</p><p>‘He’s in the Slytherin common room.’</p><p>‘It’s only the first day, he’s bound to do something soon.’ Ron reasoned, pulling his school shirt over his head.</p><p>‘Yeah, maybe.’</p><p>Harry’s eyes remained stationed on Draco’s footsteps for the next hour, waiting for them to move in any direction. But they stayed stagnant. Harry fell asleep that night with the map pressed tightly against his chest, his dreams again filled with painful nightmares.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As you guys can already see, i'm planning on changing a lot of details...the potion will be coming handy later on ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. On Purpose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few days later, Ron and Hermione had begun to notice how strong Harry’s obsession with both his potions textbook and Draco had actually become. Whenever the trio weren’t in class or eating their meals in the Great Hall, Harry’s eyes would remain glued to the marauders map, his eyes tracking every step Draco took in every direction. Even when Harry had received a note for his first appointment with the headmaster later that night, his excitement had been forced and secondary to what the open map on his lap showed him. Ron had also begun to notice that Harry slept with his textbook by his side, afraid of his newfound prized possession being stolen whilst he engaged in slumber.</p><p>Harry’s eating also remained disordered; Hermione forced food upon his plate, but he was too overwhelmed with the many concerns haunting his thoughts and dreams to swallow them. He struggled to balance the various things occurring amongst him and the approaching meeting with Professor Dumbledore would only work to frazzle his mind further. There was no escaping it anymore, Harry could only guess that this was only the calm before the storm.</p><p>‘You seem slightly distracted tonight Harry?’ Dumbledore observed, peering at Harry over his half-moon spectacles as they sat in his office.</p><p>‘I do?’</p><p>Dumbledore let out a nod, ‘I would think it’s due to the memory I just showed you, but it seems as if something else has occupied your mind.’</p><p>Harry didn’t respond, feeling guilty that his attention couldn’t entirely be directed towards Dumbledore’s lessons. He would need all of this information about Voldemort soon and yet, here he was, distracted.</p><p>‘Forgive me Harry, I didn’t acknowledge it in order to make you guilty.’</p><p>‘No sir, it’s fine.’ Harry spluttered, ‘I’ve just been feeling a bit suspicious over something.’</p><p>‘Something or someone?’</p><p>Harry looked up to see a knowing look on Dumbledore’s face, his blackened hand propped up against his aged face.</p><p>‘Well, it’s Malfoy sir.’</p><p>‘Draco Malfoy, I assume?’ Dumbledore probed; Harry nodded in response. ‘Am I right in presuming that you and Mr Malfoy have formed some kind of rivalry over the years?’</p><p>‘No – well yes, but that isn’t the reason,’ Harry quickly defended himself, straightening up in his seat. ‘You see, I saw him in Knockturn Alley entering a store named Borgin and Burkes- ‘</p><p>‘Taking a detour into such a place as Knockturn Alley wasn’t such a wise thing to do for someone like you.’</p><p>The disappointment in Dumbledore’s words made Harry flush slightly.</p><p>‘But I had to or else I wouldn’t have witnessed Malfoy being particularly interested in some kind of cabinet and I couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying, but his words…they seemed pretty threatening, enough to startle the salesman.’</p><p>Dumbledore stayed silent for a few moments, his eyes showing he was mulling over Harry’s concerns in his mind. Harry waited for a response, eager to know what the professor would conclude about such an exchange. However, as Dumbledore smiled, he knew their thoughts weren’t aligned.</p><p>‘Has it ever crossed your mind that perhaps Mr Malfoy was just committing some light window shopping?’ Dumbledore inquired.</p><p>‘No, it hasn’t.’</p><p>‘You see Harry, Severus has kindly agreed to watch over Mr Malfoy following his father’s imprisonment and finds so far, that he is harbouring no threat or pursuing any suspicious endeavours that you might be thinking he is.’</p><p>Harry became bothered by the mention of Professor Snape, ‘but he could be wrong.’</p><p>Dumbledore shook his head, his silver beard moving along with the motion. ‘I trust Severus’s judgement and besides, you might want to give Mr Malfoy the benefit of the doubt. You and him are more alike than you may perceive.’</p><p>With his fists clenched under the table, Harry only bowed his head, knowing that saying anything further on the matter was a lost cause. No one was taking him seriously. Harry knew his suspicions weren’t a result of his hatred for Draco, after all he had considered this before. But there was something deeper, a burning feeling in his gut that was almost cancerous and had convinced him to continue pursuing his paranoia.</p><p>As Harry left Dumbledore’s office that night, he found himself less dejected than he thought he would be. He had expected such a reaction after all, being used to pursuing things alone. Of course, the majority of the times, he had his best friends alongside him, aiding him in the best way they could, but this time was different. Something within Harry told him that this was a journey he had to experience as an individual. He shuddered as he walked through the Gryffindor dorms, recoiling at Dumbledore comparing him to such a person as Draco Malfoy. It was an insult at best.</p><p>***</p><p>‘Well you look particularly perky this morning,’ Harry said the next morning as he took a seat opposite his jittering best friend.</p><p>‘Shove off Harry,’ Ron retorted, his face significantly paler than usual.</p><p>Harry could tell he was on the edge of emptying the contents of his stomach at any given moment now, being racked with nerves over this morning’s quidditch trials. He sighed out, wishing he could just hand the position to Ron without having him stress to the point of making himself look corpse-like. But Harry knew people would talk if he did, they’d know he’d chosen Ron specially because they were best friends.</p><p>‘You’ll be fine, I don’t know why you’re stressing so much. Besides you were on the team last year, of course you’ll make it back.’ Harry reassured him, taking a sip of the bitter juice in his goblet.</p><p>The familiar turning of his stomach began.</p><p>‘You don’t know that!’ Ron whined, ‘you know how I get under pressure!’</p><p>Harry figured Ron was semi-right, his performance always suffered greatly under the mounts of pressure. His nerves always found a way to overpower him, but Harry was hoping they’d sidestep for at least today for Ron’s sake as well as his. Hermione, however, seemed to be in an elated mood as she approached the pair, dressed in thick wool for the autumn weather.</p><p>‘How’re you both feeling?’ She asked enthusiastically.</p><p>Ron looked as if he had paled another shade lighter, ‘terrible.’</p><p>‘Relax Ron! You’re underestimating your skills, isn’t he Harry?’</p><p>Harry nodded briefly, his eyes catching onto Draco’s empty seat at the Slytherin table. His mind wasn’t allowed the room to mull over this as quidditch trials readily began. To his annoyance, various girls had shown up to the try outs, the majority of them not even in Gryffindor house but eager to catch a glance at the supposed chosen one.<br/>
Harry found his patience wearing thin as he had turned away a group of squealing girls from Hufflepuff and had realised that only a handful of the girls from the Gryffindors could actually ride a broom. Harry should’ve been relishing in the attention, if it was last year, he might have been, but now it only made his skin crawl. There was something off-putting about the girls’ behaviour, it had only made him realise that he really couldn’t handle any romantic entanglements for the time being.</p><p>‘Your popularity is really making trials chaotic.’ Ginny joked as she stood next to Harry who had been looking through his list.</p><p>Harry let out a laugh, ‘I really wish they’d take a hint.’</p><p>‘Speaking of taking a hint, ‘Ginny said, nudging her head to signal behind Harry. ‘Looks like Cormac’s come over to convince you how he deserves the keeper position for the thousandth time.’</p><p>Harry wanted to scream in frustration as Cormac McLaggen with his signature smug expression made his way towards Harry, his narcissistic ramblings already ready to slip from his mouth.</p><p>‘Alright Potter?’</p><p>‘What is it McLaggen?’</p><p>Cormac was unstirred by Harry’s hostile tone, ‘just wanted to see if keeper tryouts were next, I’m ready to bag the position already.’</p><p>‘Yes, but you’re going to be trying out against Ron, so the position isn’t guaranteed yours.’ Harry sternly said.</p><p>‘Ah yes, Weasley,’ Cormac said with clear distaste. ‘I’m sure you’ll see that I’m clearly the better player anyways.’</p><p>‘We’ll see.’ Harry replied through gritted teeth, glancing at Ron who was currently being coached by Hermione on the benches.</p><p>‘Hey Potter, is it true what the rumours have been saying?’ Cormac questioned, his eyes glazing over Harry in a way that seemed almost predatory.</p><p>‘That I’m the chosen one?’</p><p>‘No, that you’re gay.’</p><p>Harry almost choked on his own spit; this was the last thing he had assumed Cormac had been inquiring about. Not only was the rumour one unbeknownst to him, but the sheer interest in Cormac’s question made Harry coil in dread.</p><p>‘No, they’re not.’ Harry retorted, a chill travelling down his spine and causing goose bumps to arise on his blemished skin.</p><p>All Cormac said in response was, ‘that’s a shame.’</p><p>Before any further questions could be roused, Harry called for keeper tryouts to begin. He walked away from Cormac as if being within the same vicinity as him would make him into the same blubbering mess of nerves that Ron currently was. To Harry’s relief, Ron was playing better than he had expected, defending the rings as if he had just consumed a cauldron full of Felix Felicis. Even though he had promised to be objective in his judgement, Harry couldn’t control the ovations that bubbled up his throat every time Ron knocked the bludger’s away.</p><p>Cormac, however, was clearly angered by Ron’s performance and as his turn came, he settled himself onto his broom with determination swallowing his figure. As he knocked the bludger with a precise force, Harry couldn’t deny that Cormac was indeed a talented keeper, perhaps even better than Ron. But Harry wanted nothing more than to avoid inviting Cormac onto the team. He could only hope that Cormac would slip up, enough to allow room for Harry to defend his decision for giving Ron the keeper position.</p><p>And to Harry’s relief, Cormac’s last attempted save was muddled with his broom shifting in the opposite direction, allowing the bludger to zoom past him and through the hoop. Harry smirked as the movement of the broom looked too easily swayed and as he glanced at Hermione in the stands looking incredibly guilty, he recognised her involvement.</p><p>‘Potter! My broom malfunctioned. You have to let me go again!’ Cormac cried as he slipped off his landed broom.</p><p>Ron stalked towards them, ready to say something but Harry held up his hand to signal for him to wait.</p><p>‘Look Cormac, it’s unfair if I let you go again. Besides, everyone here saw how Ron saved one more than you and I think it’s fair that the keeper position’s his.’ Harry reasoned, suppressing his victorious grin from surfacing.</p><p>Cormac settled his venomous gaze onto Ron, searing him with silent profanities before he stormed away.</p><p>‘So, the position’s mine?’ Ron asked excitedly, the colour in his face had been regained now making him again look like his usual self.</p><p>‘Of course, I wouldn’t want anyone else as keeper.’</p><p>Ron pumped his fist in the air, childishly gloating to Harry about how beating Cormac had been an effortless task. Harry watched him in amusement, head tilted when he realised a figure watching the pitch from the edge of the grass. Malfoy. He was only there for a lingering, few moments, curiously watching the scene painted in front of him as if it was a peculiar show he had never seen before and then he was walking away.  </p><p>‘Hey Ron? Tell Ginny I’ll be right back, I just need to check something.’</p><p>Before Ron could reply, Harry was rushing in the same direction Draco was moving. He kept the distance between them, ensuring his footsteps weren’t resounding enough for Draco to realise he was being followed again. Harry recognised the route instantly; Draco was taking long strides towards the same area where he had found Harry crying the previous year. His icy blond hair seemed to be glowing as he walked, contrasting the dense blackness of his sweater and jeans. His appearance always seemed to be at war with itself.</p><p>As Draco walked into the clearing, Harry stood back, hiding behind the stone wall. The sound of a second voice, one sickly sweet and feminine made Harry peer slightly around the corner of the wall to see Draco standing in front of a lean girl with dark raven tresses. Harry couldn’t put a name to her face, another nameless Slytherin he had overlooked before.<br/>

Even though Draco and the girl were talking, Harry could only see their mouths move, too far away to hear their muttered words. The girl shifted on her feet as she looked at Draco with a look filled with lust and inexperienced shyness. Harry recognised this emotion easily, having experienced it himself with Cho, but the emotion on Draco’s face was less comprehendible. He winced as the girl touched his arm and leaned in, her lips pressing against his unresponsive ones.</p><p>Harry’s mouth dried as he suddenly felt uncomfortable watching such a private moment and he almost turned away. But Draco’s shifting, rain cloud eyes that locked with his made Harry's body freeze as if he had uttered another petrifying charm upon him. There was something lurking in Draco’s eyes, something that mimicked complete and utter satisfaction that Harry was witnessing this exchange. A ghost of a smile perked onto his lips as the girl pulled away, tired of his unwillingness to give her what she wanted.<br/>
As the realisation that Draco had purposely tricked Harry in following him here dawned upon him, he stumbled backwards, away from sight. Harry was beginning to realise how his obsession was slowly festering inside of him now, a hive within him becoming more and more active with every interaction he shared with Draco. He despised this feeling and he despised Draco too. The embarrassment mingled with the cold air made his face flame scarlet as he retreated back to the quidditch fields.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ty for reading &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Last Letter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just wanted to say there's a trigger warning for this chapter, there is a reference to self harm so please keep safe! Thank you for reading &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Draco struggled to fight the ghosted smiles that twitched at his lips as he slouched against his pillow that night. He had awoken from a nightmare, his clothes dewy with his own sweat and hair matted against his forehead. Usually, it would take him several minutes to locate a distraction, anything that would deter the course of his rigid thoughts and give him relief. But tonight, as he recalled the look on Harry’s flushed face from earlier today, he felt the familiar surge of smugness that he only gained from embarrassing Harry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had been awhile since Draco had last felt this surge, there being weightier matters placed on his mind, and he had almost forgotten how exhilarating it felt to have the upper hand. It had been so simple, a few insults to Harry’s blood-traitor and mudblood best friends and a comment about his father and Harry would be breathing fire. He always gave a reaction, without fail and it was this exact reason that Draco had persisted all these years with his malicious retorts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What’re you smiling at?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco’s smile dropped into nothingness as he looked up to see his roommate and ex-friend Theodore Nott watching him curiously. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone, the rest wedged into the wrong holes and the flush on his face showed the aftermath of his late-night rendezvous. Draco was taken aback by Theo’s question; he had openly refused to speak to Draco, treating his existence as a glitch in their reality.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Nothing.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Theo scoffed, ‘must be something if it got that pity-whore look off your face finally.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I’m not a pity whore.’ Draco said defensively.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You sure have been acting like one.’ Theo was practically spitting his bitter words. ‘I know death-eaters are depressing as fuck to be around, but you’re practically a dementor now.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco clenched his silk sheets in his hands, trying to calm the urge to get up out of his bed and punch him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Just shut the fuck up Theo.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Theo smirked at him as he fixed his buttons. ‘Did I hit a nerve Draco? You really are exactly like your father you know, both death eaters who can’t take any criticism.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco practically sprung out of his bed, taking up a threatening stance. ‘Don’t you dare bring up my father, you don’t know even an ounce of what you’re talking about.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘That’s the thing,’ Theo said, his voice suddenly softer, ‘I thought I knew everything about you. But I guess I was wrong.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco didn’t say anything in response, his body slightly shaking as Theo stripped his clothes and got into bed with his final words lingering in the air. It had been Draco’s fault that his friendship with Theo had crumbled so drastically over the past few months. He had always been Draco’s closest friend, both of them finding comfort with each other amongst their fathers’ death eater activities. But after Draco had taken the mark, he had become colder, unwilling to communicate with anyone like he used to. And upon seeing his arm, something had also shifted in Theo’s eyes. He had looked at Draco with disgust, there being something in his face that told Draco he was ashamed of his friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For what felt like hours, Draco had stood there, watching Theo’s turned back as his body rose and fell. He rubbed his temples, suddenly feeling the need for scorching water to cleanse his skin and made his way into the bathroom. With his clothes abandoned on the floor, Draco stood under the pelting shower, turning the temperature to the highest it would go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His body was on fire, every patch of his pale skin becoming inflamed with the heat and everything began to numb. Draco relished in the steam as he began to rub haphazardly at his arms, his fingers raking again and again over the mark on his arm. He knew this motion would leave behind scars, ones full of a uncomfortable rawness. Yet he couldn’t stop. The sensation was almost like an addiction. Draco couldn’t remember the last time he had felt like himself. After all, his body no longer belonged to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Are you sure you haven’t heard of this spell?’ Harry asked Hermione, tilting his potions book towards her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘No Harry, I haven’t. And I think if you have any regard for anyone’s safety, you shouldn’t test any of them out.’ Hermione lectured, taking a sip of her butterbeer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry and Ron exchanged a look as she said this. She gasped as she placed her cup down, foam on her lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Don’t tell me you’ve already tested them out!’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘They’re harmless, I swear. Aren’t they Ron?’ Harry quickly defended himself, urging Ron to support his cause.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ron nodded his head vigorously, ‘they’re just the sort of stuff you’d expect Fred and George to pull. Like one of them just made me dangle upside down by my ankle and it was brilliant!’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hermione scoffed, ‘doesn’t sound that brilliant to me.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ron's eyes caught onto the foam on Hermione’s lips and he leaned forward, wiping it off with his thumb. Harry watched in amusement as Hermione’s cheeks instantly inflamed at their close proximity. It was obvious to see the bond that existed between them and Harry could feel them becoming closer each day to recognising their own feelings. He just wished it would come sooner than later.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You’re just bitter you didn’t come up with yourself.’ Harry joked, slicing the awkward silence that lingered after Ron’s motion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hermione only rolled her eyes and took another gulp of her drink. Ron nodded his head towards someone behind Harry, causing him to turn his body and see Professor Slughorn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Professor!’ Harry called, holding his hand up to gain his attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slughorn beamed at the sight of Harry, his fondness clearly showing in his wrinkled features as he made his way towards their table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Harry my boy! Fancy seeing you here.’ He said, his attention blocking out Ron and Hermione’s presence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Just here for some butterbeer sir, and you?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry was practically forcing his enthusiasm into his words, trying to gain Slughorn’s favour as Dumbledore had asked him to. Harry didn’t really mind interacting with the gleeful professor, he was just relieved that Dumbledore hadn’t asked him to gain Snape’s favour instead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I can never pass on Rosmerta’s homemade mead!’ He guffawed, ‘say Harry, I was hoping to organise a dinner party of some sort with a few students, I wondered if you’d be interested.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Of course, sir.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Jolly good! You are my best student after all Harry, well there is Mr Malfoy too but he…doesn’t seem like he’d be much fun at a party.’ Slughorn said thoughtfully, finally noticing Hermione. ‘Of course, I’d love to have you too Miss Granger.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hermione smiled timidly, ‘I’d be delighted sir.’  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Great, expect my invitations!’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with that, Slughorn was off, not even bothering to acknowledge Ron who was practically gritting his teeth now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You’d think I’m invisible the way he acts.’ He grumbled; his face scrunched in anger.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘If it wasn’t for Dumbledore, I’d be avoiding him like the plague.’ Harry said to comfort his friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hermione was too distracted by something that made both boys turn their head. Ginny was seated with Dean Thomas, their hands entwined as their lips interlocked. Ron’s face became even more roused with anger now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘God, I can’t catch a fucking break.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Don’t be so dramatic Ron, it’s just snogging.’ Hermione shushed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ron looked at her in indignation, ‘I don’t wanna see my sister snogging someone!’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Just look away.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I can’t do that when she’s a bloody table away!’ Ron whined. ‘Besides, did she really have to choose Dean Thomas out of all people, even Harry would’ve been a better choice!’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Hey!’ Harry cut in, ‘first of all, Ginny’s like a sister to me and second, shut up Ron.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Let’s just go before Ronald over here bursts a vein.’ Hermione suggested, picking up her coat from the chair next to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry nodded, both of them had to practically grasp onto Ron’s arms and drag him out into the snowstorm raging outside. Ron had been reluctant to leave, adamant that Dean would do something ‘dodgy’. His friends had just ignored his paranoia.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The temperature had significantly dropped over the last few days and Harry was just glad that they had already held quidditch trials. He didn’t like to ponder too much on what had occurred with Draco that day. That same day Harry had also decided to purge himself of his obsession with following Draco. It had been four days and he hadn’t even looked at the marauders map and averted his eyes in every potions lesson they shared. So far, project avoiding Draco seemed to be going well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Katie, let me see it!’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry looked up ahead to see Katie Bell, a Gryffindor quidditch team member and her friend walking a short distance in front of them. Her friend was seemingly frustrated, pulling at Katie’s arm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Wonder what’s going on there.’ Ron murmured as the trio all stopped in place, observing the scene.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before they could comprehend what it was that the friends were arguing about, Katie had fallen to the ground, before her body was pulled back and forth across the snow by an invisible force and raised into the air. The air left Harry’s mouth as the sound of Katie’s screaming and her friends mingled with each other and banged through their ears. Her hair whipped around her head as if she had transformed into Medusa herself and then, she collapsed onto the snowed ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The trio were too horrified to say anything, all three of them rushing towards her. Harry’s eyes caught onto the glistening diamonds of a necklace that had fallen out of brown parchment onto the snow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Stand back!’ Hagrid’s voice called as he trudged big steps towards them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hermione held Katie’s friend, attempting to calm her down as Hagrid picked up Katie’s limp body in one swift motion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Don’t touch the necklace! Make sure it’s wrapped in the parchment.’ Hagrid exclaimed, the panic in his face was enough to tell Harry that something grave was wrong with it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as they were back at the castle, Professor McGonagall had interrogated all of four of the teenagers. Her eyes had been especially critical towards the trio and Harry knew exactly what she was thinking. They were always involved when something dire occurred. Harry couldn’t help but feel like a hypocrite, knowing that he had been so critical of Draco being suspicious when he was just the same. Anyone could doubt him too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The friends stood in silence as McGonagall asked Katie’s friend what had occurred.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Katie came back from the bathroom with the package and kept insisting that she needed to deliver it to Professor Dumbledore. I told her it was dangerous, I really tried to tell her but she just wouldn’t listen.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>McGonagall didn’t seem surprised, telling the girl she was free to go almost instantly. But the silent festering of doubt in Harry’s mind made his thoughts flick towards Draco again; wondering if he had perhaps been in Hogsmeade today. His train of thought perished as the door banged open and in walked Snape.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His cloak thrashed around his figure as he walked past the trio and towards the proud necklace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Oh Severus, thank heavens you’re here. A girl has been cursed!’ Professor McGonagall rushed out, her aged features contorted with concern.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Snape was quiet for a few moments, studying the necklace with his wand from a distance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I would say Miss Bell is lucky to be alive.’ He drawled out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>McGonagall’s frown deepened at this, ‘I assumed you would be the best one to examine it.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry opened his mouth, the words stuck in his throat, itching to come out. But before he could, Snape had already proven his theory wrong.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I would’ve come sooner, but I was unfortunately spending my day supervising a detention for Mr Malfoy.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hermione glanced at Harry, knowing what he had been thinking only a few moments prior.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I see,’ McGonagall replied, her eyes flickered towards the trio. ‘You three may go back to Gryffindor tower.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry lingered uneasily as his friends nodded and began to exit the room, but with a stern look from Snape, he moved his feet. The stress of the events that he had witnessed just an hour ago left no room for him to argue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You know Harry, I have to ask myself everyday why we’re always the one witnessing this stuff.’ Ron muttered as they entered their room, ‘I mean, I get you’re the chosen one, but does the universe really have to drag you into bloody everything.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry remained silent; the haunting image of Katie sprung high in the air replaying in his mind. He had played quidditch alongside Katie for numerous years and seeing her in such a state had startled him immensely. He just couldn’t fathom why Katie had been chosen to deliver such a deadly object. And why exactly it was Dumbledore and not him being targeted, Harry didn’t know.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Trust me Ron, I wish I knew why.’ Harry finally replied, opening his trunk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After seeing what he had today, Harry suddenly wished to take some space from his potions textbook and supposed his trunk was the safest place to put it. But as he pushed the book to the bottom, he noticed something. One of Malfoy’s letters lay abandoned amongst his socks. It was the last one that Harry had received and the only one he hadn’t opened. Harry had thought he had gotten rid of them all when he had been at the burrow, but this one had most likely been left behind, unnoticed by his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I’m gonna go shower,’ Ron said behind him, his retreating footsteps thudded around Harry alongside his own heartbeat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he heard the click of the door, Harry retrieved the letter and stared at it for a few moments in astonishment. He contemplated discarding it, leaving the words written to wander into the realm of things he would never see again. But the temptation was too much for Harry to ignore. He broke the wax seal and opened up the parchment. The letter itself was short.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Potter,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>My letter’s stop here, I hope they’ve helped so far. Burn them.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Malfoy.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry blinked slowly, feeling his breathing hitch as he noticed a faint smudge on the parchment. It was as if someone had tried to furiously dry it away till it was almost unremarkable. At first glance it looked to be ink, but as Harry moved the parchment closer, he realised that it was undoubtedly blood.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>next chapter is going to be...angsty.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Tower</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>trigger warning: suicidal tendencies and references.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Despite what Draco had written, Harry didn’t burn the letter. It had been enough to repopulate Harry’s mind with thoughts tainted by Draco in any way possible and this time, these thoughts were here to stay. Harry could only assume that something drastic had occurred in order for Draco to not only discontinue his letter writing, but also leave a crimson stain. The blood haunted Harry. He wondered if it was Draco’s or more alarmingly…someone else’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But, as Harry mulled over it amongst his morning shower steam, he knew Draco wasn’t careless enough to send him a letter smudged with someone he had potentially harmed. Besides, Draco Malfoy was many things, but a murderer, Harry wasn’t so sure. The only conclusion Harry could draw after his long shower had ended was that Draco had most likely suffered a paper cut whilst writing the letter and had accidentally smudged his finger on the brown stained parchment.  It was the only thing that seemed to make sense.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You alright mate?’ Ron asked as they both made their way out of the boys’ dormitories.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry noticed his friend’s gaze focused on the dark indentations under his eyes, a telling tale that Harry hadn’t garnered any sleep again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Yeah, just hungry.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whilst Ron usually didn’t press Harry for the truth when he was clearly lying, Hermione always did. This was one of the main reasons that Harry was glad he didn’t share a room with her, she would’ve pestered him to the point of a meltdown. As they walked into the common room, Hermione practically flew towards both boys, her attention too preoccupied with a different topic to focus on Harry’s unhealthy sleeping habits.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I’ve been in the library all morning researching cursed objects!’ She rushed out, her hair messily framing her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ron looked from Harry to Hermione, his mouth opened in disbelief. ‘It’s hardly eight!’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hermione rolled her gleaming eyes, ‘someone had to do it.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘So?’ Harry prompted, ‘find anything interesting?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hermione’s excitement dimmed at this question, disappointment welling through her face like a breath of cold air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘There wasn’t much on cursed necklaces, but...I’ve determined that Katie only survived because she didn’t actually touch the necklace with her bare hands, otherwise…’ Hermione trailed off uneasily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I know this isn’t exactly appropriate but if Katie’s gone for a while, we’re gonna have to find a replacement chaser for Sunday’s game.’ Ron said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s stomach churned, ‘I’ll ask Dean.’ He murmured; he had almost forgotten about quidditch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Bloody Dean,’ Ron grumbled, scrunching his mouth as he began walking out of the common room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hermione glanced at Harry; curiosity ready to blossom out of her mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You’re okay with Dean and Ginny dating?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry furrowed his brows, puzzled by Hermione’s abrupt question. ‘Why wouldn’t I be? She’s not my sister.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘It’s just that…’ Hermione seemed to be thinking deeply to recall the exact words she wanted to convey for a few moments. ‘I just always thought you liked her or something.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry didn’t even hesitate and shook his head vigorously, ‘me liking Ginny? Trust me Hermione, it’s never crossed my mind.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hermione seemed unsatisfied with his answer and Harry knew she wasn’t ready to let this go just yet. ‘Well, let’s just get to breakfast for now.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry followed her in silence, the mere mention of food making his stomach feel like a washing machine. But this was only the start to his dreadful day. At breakfast, Ron, who had layered his slice of toast with honey, had tilted it right into Harry’s lap ensuring his lap remained sticky for the rest of the school day. In their Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson, Snape had been especially cruel, assigning them a five page essay for the next day and as they entered the potions classroom for the last lesson of the day, Harry realised Draco was missing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes remained on the Slytherin side of the room, expecting Draco to arrive late, but this didn’t happen. Slughorn was quick to notice his best student’s absence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Has anyone heard from Mr Malfoy?’ He asked, directing his attention solely to the Slytherin side of the classroom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blaise was the one to reply, ‘he’s sick sir.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Very well then.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slughorn was quick to move the lesson ahead, yet Harry’s attention span had been obliterated. Draco’s absence made something shift within him, he was uneasy for an indecipherable reason. He didn’t care that he wasn’t here at a surface level, with him gone, Harry easily excelled at the potion they were making during the lesson. But deep within him, even though Harry didn’t even know Draco in the slightest, he recalled that Draco hadn’t ever missed a potions lesson before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After dinner, Harry was quick to check the marauders map, attempting to locate Draco’s name. However, no matter how hard he looked, Draco was nowhere to be seen at first. An hour later, his name had reappeared in the Slytherin common room. This pattern of appearance and disappearance continued for the next few days and in classes, Draco remained absent. Harry was perplexed, confused as to whether it was the map malfunctioning or his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco sat alone in the Slytherin common room. He had been shivering in his dorm, the merciless cold creeping on him like his night terrors. Draco looked at the parchment in his lap, the words were familiar to his tongue by now. He had re-read the letter many times over the past few days, his time outside of the room of requirement filled with loneliness and longing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>My Dear Draco,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope things are going well, I miss you immensely. The manor is never the same without your presence. Christmas is fast approaching; I think maybe spending it at school this year will remain a better idea. Just know I am always proud of the boy you have become, regardless of the circumstances that persist upon us. I am in your care.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Love,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>your mother, Narcissa.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it was the masochism within him that made him replay the words on his tongue. Even without his mother’s advice, Draco was already hoping to avoid the manor as much as he could. It had never been the most uplifting of places to begin with, the gothic architecture was unsettling, and the resounding darkness had given him nightmares as a child. But regardless, it had still been home, a safe haven. Now, it was just filled with an influx of unwanted guests and an ambience that made him wish he had somewhere else to go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Draco!’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blaise’s voice made Draco turn his head to see him playing chess with Theo and Pansy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Wanna join us? I’m kicking Theo’s ass.’ He asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Theo’s broad frame stiffened, his eyes shifting to meet Draco’s tired ones. It was apparent that both he and Pansy – who was now admiring her nails with excessive interest – didn’t want him to spoil their light-hearted game.  A pang went through Draco’s heart as he realised that nobody willingly craved his presence within their midst. First, his mother and now, his childhood friends. He was completely alone with nothing but guilt to grasp onto with stained hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You guys can carry on. I have somewhere to be.’ Draco politely said, raising from his seat and heading towards the exit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The air was suddenly stifling, blocking his sinuses from gaining any oxygen. As Draco walked past the trio, he heard Theo mutter a curse towards him and the aching only spread tenfold. Draco didn’t know what to do or where to go, but he did know that he wanted everything to stop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another meeting with Dumbledore over and Harry was exhausted to the bone. There was just something vastly gruelling that came from experiencing someone else’s memories. Especially when the memories were to do with Voldemort himself. Tonight, Harry had witnessed Dumbledore’s first meeting with the man who had murdered his parents. Of course, Voldemort had been a child at first, one with a handsome face and a charm to his words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yet as Harry realised the same, seemingly innocent orphan he had seen was the same man who had tried to kill him on numerous occasions, a shiver ran down his spine. Nothing good ever came from thoughts about Tom Riddle and their supposed entangled fate. So, Harry shook his head and moved forward under the protection of his invisibility cloak. The marauders map was in his grip, helping him steer clear of any roaming professors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Harry’s eyes flickered down to the map, he stopped in place. Draco’s name was hovering in the astronomy tower, only a short distance away from where Harry was right now. Harry didn’t even have time to think rationally as his feet began to carry him towards the direction of the tower. It was after hours and no one except Draco was up there, anything could be occurring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Harry neared the very top of the tower, he expected to see Draco practising dark magic or to be brewing some kind of suspicious potion. But it was completely silent, there were no incantations being verbalised and no sounds of a bubbling cauldron.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What Harry didn’t expect was Draco to be standing on the ledge of the tower, dangerously close to the edge. The blood drained from Harry’s face as he quickly understood what it was that was stirring in front of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What the hell are you doing?’ Harry exclaimed, allowing the invisibility cloak to slip off of his figure and fall to the floor around him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco didn’t move an inch, his body completely still. The wind howled around them, threatening to push Draco’s rigid figure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I said, what the hell are you doing!’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Go away Potter.’ Draco muttered, unmoved by Harry’s presence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The listlessness in his tone was enough to indicate that something was off in the air, that something was off with him. Harry’s pupils began to shake as he took a step closer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘W-what are you doing so close to the edge Malfoy?’ He had tried to control his voice, but his words had stumbled out with a stutter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Are you deaf? I said to go away, it’s none of your concern.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, Draco didn’t move and again, the monotonous voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry was shaking ever so slightly now, ‘are you going to jump.’ He asked slowly, holding his breath as he waited for an answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco snapped his head towards him, irritation surging through his grey eyes. ‘For fucks sake Potter, do you want me to kick your nose in again? I told you I want to be alone.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even though Draco had meant for his hardy exterior to banish any vulnerability, Harry could see through his façade. Draco didn’t want to be alone. This was clear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s eyes met his, ‘you didn’t answer my question.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took another step closer and Draco noticed, his eyes shifting from Harry’s feet to his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I’m just thinking alright.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘No sane person decides to think whilst standing millimetres away from plummeting to their death.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pain flashed across Draco’s face, his grey-tinged skin creasing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I guess I’m not sane then.’ He seethed out, ‘don’t make me hex you Potter. Leave.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry shook his head almost instantly. ‘I’m not going to leave until you get down from there.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco scoffed, ‘don’t you think I would if I could?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There it was, Harry thought, there was Draco Malfoy’s defenceless side. He had wanted to see it for five years, but now as it materialised in front of him, his mouth only dried. Pity festering inside of his stomach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Whatever it is…whatever’s made you stand up there tonight, I can – Dumbledore can help you – ‘</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Dumbledore?’ Draco said in indignation, ‘what the fuck is it with you constantly yapping about Dumbledore? He can’t help me. No one can.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Draco took a hazardous step back, Harry lurched forward, grasping onto his arm and pulling him down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What the fuck are you doing!’ Draco barked, straightening up from his tumble to the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pushed Harry’s still frame with his hands, ‘just get the fuck out Potter! I said get out!’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘No.’ Harry said, holding his head up as Draco’s features contorted into a snare.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You should be jumping for joy right now.’ Draco let out a manic laugh, his wild platinum blonde hair framing his sunken face. ‘I mean, the boy you hate, the one who terrorised you over and over for five fucking years is standing on a ledge, ready to end his life. I’d be doing you and everyone else a sodding favour, and yet you’re here, trying to give me some stupid muggle-esque suicide prevention speech like you care. Fuck off Potter.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You’re right, I do hate you Malfoy.’ Harry replied calmly, knowing that only one of them could afford to be angry right now. ‘But that doesn’t mean I’m going to walk away willingly knowing you’re seconds away from dying. No one would.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You’re wrong.’ Draco retorted, ‘if the roles were reversed, if it was you up there on that ledge right now. I would walk away without a doubt.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry blinked a few times, his face dropping to a stoic expression.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Okay. Let’s see then.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What- ‘</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco’s words were cut off as Harry climbed onto the ledge, into the exact same position he had found Draco in. He breathed the dense oxygen, the wind swaying through his overgrown hair. Harry was so close.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What’re you doing Potter.’ Draco’s voice was smaller now and as Harry turned towards him, he noticed Draco eyes were widened with raw fear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Walk away then.’ Harry said softly, his heart hammering in his chest as he realised just how risky his actions were. One wrong step and the boy who lived would be dead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco let out a shaky breath. His chapped lips quivered. ‘Get down.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘No,’ Harry replied, ‘you said you would walk away, so walk away Draco.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He winced at the sound of his name; Draco had wondered what Harry saying his first name would sound like on many occasions. But now, it had suddenly lost its appeal. A silence lapsed for a few moments.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You proved your point. Just get down from there.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What did I prove?’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Just please, get down first.’ Draco murmured, ready to pull Harry’s arm down just as he did for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But before he could, Harry had already stepped down himself. Their eyes met, green and grey orbs pitted against each other once again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘That’s what it feels like.’ Harry said, ‘that’s what it felt like to see you on the ledge.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco looked down at his blue hands to see they were shaking violently. He wasn’t sure if it was the icy tint in the air or the horror of tonight’s events that were causing it. Harry’s hands, however, were full of colour, almost looking warm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What do you want from me?’ Draco whispered, the exhaustion clinging onto every single one of his veins now. He craved the warmth of his bed now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I want you to go back to your dorm and to stay there.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry still felt his heart beating erratically, but he could see something shifting within Draco now. An emotion almost identical to gratitude was etched onto Draco’s sharp features, a slight willingness to admit it was also present. Draco didn’t say anything else. He didn’t need to. Harry already knew he was listening as he began to walk out of the tower.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry watched his back disappear, a part of him wanting to run after Draco and say something more, anything else that would prove useful. Yet he didn’t, after all, he was just as exhausted. Convincing Draco to step down from the ledge had drained him of any energy he had stored away, and Harry yearned for his soft bedsheets to engulf him into slumber.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But as Harry lay in his bed that night, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the map. His eyes remained stagnant on Draco’s name in fear that it would again move towards the astronomy tower and that he would commence from where he had left off. Harry fell asleep eventually, realising that tonight had also been the first time he had seen Draco wearing red. It had suited him.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just in case anyone didn't catch it, the reference to Draco wearing red at the end was supposed to indicate how brave it was for him to step down from the ledge :(</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Calming Draught</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next morning, Harry could only afford a quick glance at the map to confirm Draco’s safety before he was dragged to Quidditch practice. Ron was particularly in a spoiled mood, the same old nerves boring down onto him without mercy as the team practiced. His playing was dreadful today. The quaffle zoomed past his figure every time and Ron was unable to block them, clumsily misdirecting his broom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I know he’s my brother and all, but god he’s especially awful today.’ Ginny whispered to Harry who only pursed his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘He’ll do better tomorrow.’ Harry reassured her, not fully believing his own words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ginny sighed out as Ron slumped down onto the benches. ‘For the whole team’s sake, I hope so.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry decided it was probably best to allow Ron time alone to evaluate his playing, self-reflection always seemed to work well for him. He just hoped his best friend would locate and cling onto his initial enthusiasm from when he had passed try-outs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry ventured into the changing rooms to strip himself free of his sweat stained quidditch sweater, he noticed Dean Thomas remaining by the lockers. He smiled uneasily as Harry approached him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘How’s Ron looking?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Not so good.’ Harry admitted, pulling his top over his head. ‘Gonna have to give him any energy boost before tomorrow’s game.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ah well, on the plus side, I heard Malfoy’s not playing for Slytherin this year. Harper’s taking his seeker position and he’s crap compared to you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stilled at the mention of Draco’s name, ‘wait, Malfoy’s not playing?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean nodded, ‘heard he quit or something.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was suddenly reminded of last night, the image of Draco’s fragility on the edge flashing through his mind. Another piece of standard Draco Malfoy knowledge that Harry had garnered over the years was that he adored quidditch just as much as Harry. Possibly even more. The fact that he had willingly quit – especially when the first match of the year was against Gryffindor – befuddled Harry. It was just another uncharacteristic move, one that challenged the perception that Harry at least knew Draco a tiny bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You okay Harry?’ Dean asked when Harry had failed to respond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah, just thinking strategies for the game.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry forced an eager smile, but he was sure it had most likely come across looking like a pained grimace. But Dean was no Hermione and he only rushed out of the changing rooms with words of being late to meeting Ginny flourishing from his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With there being no chance of Ron returning from the pitch anytime soon and his grumbling stomach, Harry left the room in hopes of securing some lunch. But to his utter dismay, Cormac McLaggen was loitering outside, waiting keenly for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Potter! I saw your practice…Weasley doesn’t look like he’s in the best condition.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry almost groaned out loud, the irritation of being hindered on his path to lunch raking his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’s your point McLaggen?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cormac smirked, ‘it’s still not too late. I could easily fill in for him and I’ve been practising – privately of course, but – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry clenched his jaw as he spoke, ‘my decision to have Ron play is final and nothing you say or do is going to make me reconsider, okay?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swivelled around his body, ready to stride away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I just don’t get it Potter, is it just because you’re attracted to me that you don’t want me around or?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What in Godric’s name are you going on about?’ Harry exclaimed, the indignation spreading across his face as he looked at a very serious looking Cormac.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cormac rolled his eyes, ‘it is the only thing that makes sense after all.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I told you I’m not gay.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cormac tried to stifle a laugh, making Harry’s urge to connect his fist with the boy’s face only strengthen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Could’ve fooled me.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Listen Cormac</span>
  </em>
  <span>.’ Steam was practically blaring from Harry’s ears now as he practically spat his words. ‘I haven’t eaten since nine am and I am bloody starving. So, instead of dignifying your stupidly untrue claims with an answer, I’m just going to walk away before I manage to plummet my fist into your prissy face.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, Harry’s strides away from Cormac were almost desperate, the fury thrumming at his heart. He not only hated Cormac’s persistence on replacing Ron that undermined Harry’s decision, but also the sheer confidence he used in his voice to establish Harry was gay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I don’t have a prissy face Potter!’ Cormac yelled after him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry almost retraced his steps to fulfil his threat. Just almost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning, despite the languid dreams and sweat drowned t-shirt sticking to his chest, Harry was relatively well rested. The optimism was roaring through him like a flush of water as he got up and dressed promptly into his robes. Ron, however, as expected, was jittery, pacing back and forth in their room before heading down to breakfast early.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry and Dean shared a look, silently hoping that a full English breakfast would appease Ron’s anxious nature. And with a decent night of sleep under his belt, Harry found his own mouth watering for food. It had been awhile since Harry had felt this sensation and he figured he really must be in a good mood if he was willing to permeate his day with both healthy sleeping and healthy eating. Usually, it was either one or none at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he strolled towards the great hall, Harry looked up, momentarily panicked that Draco – with two strange, bulky girls on either side of him – was walking towards him. His feet stopped of their own accord just as Draco’s stormy eyes met his. He had been tensely muttering something to the girls, but at the sight of Harry, Draco had only gestured for them to go ahead without him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s brows furrowed as the girls glowered at him before running past. He wondered who they were and what it exactly was that Draco had been saying to them. Whatever it was, seemed tense, even from a distance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Potter.’ Draco greeted quietly, looking visibly nervous as if Harry would announce the events of the astronomy tower to the entire school at any given moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Malfoy.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco still looked incredibly exhausted, his skin still a pasty grey colour that made him seem galvanised. It seemed as if Harry’s tranquil sleep had been directly stolen from Draco. The gauntness of his face made something close to worry flicker in Harry’s chest, but it was gone as soon as it had come.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I heard you’re not playing.’ Harry added after a few moments of awkward silence conceded between both boys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco swallowed, ‘fortunately for you, yes.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Why?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His expression moved from courteous to irritated at Harry’s pressing question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘We’re not friends now Potter.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry rolled his eyes, ‘I didn’t say we were.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Then I don’t see a need in answering your inquiry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That same old Malfoy superiority complex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Fair point.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco shifted his eyes towards the window, his eyes focused on a group of first years climbing a tree as he seemingly thought about something. Harry let out a cough to signal that he was indeed, still here. Draco turned back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Well I’ll be off,’ he murmured, already walking away in an attempt to escape Draco’s stifling presence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Potter!’ Draco called after him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn’t know what was more uncomfortable, the whispers of people watching the two renowned enemies interacting or the small, crystal vial Draco was holding out to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’s that?’ Harry asked, his eyes warily examining the strange coloured liquid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘A calming draught. Madam Pomfrey brewed it for me.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stared at it in confusion, ‘why would I need an anxiety draught? And more importantly, why would I trust anything you give me?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hurt flashed across Draco’s face as his hand faltered slightly. But he didn’t move it away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Thought your weasel friend could use it considering how much he was blubbering at breakfast.’ Harry glared slightly at the usage of the nickname weasel, ‘and for the second part, in your words, fair point.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Harry could refuse Draco’s offer, Draco had extracted the cork and taken a sip of the draught. He swallowed and resealed it, waiting a few moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘There. It’s not poisoned.’ He said and pressed the vial into Harry’s hand who was dumbfounded by Draco’s actions. ‘Consider this a payment for the other night.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s grip on the vial tightened, ‘I didn’t need a payment.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The coldness again infected Draco’s features, the inconsistency in his character was giving Harry whiplash. Harry realised there were always two Draco’s to expect; the one who wrote him letters and gave him a calming draught and the Draco who was purposely brutal and ready to end his own life. He preferred the first one without a doubt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘An incentive to keep your mouth shut then.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry watched Draco walk away for the second time, noticing the colour of the shirt he was wearing today was raven black. It had washed him out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked at the vial in his hand and couldn’t even deny that this would prove highly useful in not only settling Ron but also strengthening whatever shreds of self-confidence remained within him. Harry figured that he could just pretend it wasn’t Draco who had given him the draught.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Where have you been?’ Hermione asked Harry as he slid into the seat across from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>From the frustrated look on her face, Harry could tell that the silent and green-looking Ron next to her was the cause.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I needed to get something.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Like what?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry raised the vial, Ron looked up in dazed interest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’s that?’ He mumbled curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s mouth stretched into a grin as he uncapped the vial and poured a generous amount of the draught into Ron’s goblet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Just something to help with your anxiety.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Don’t drink that Ron!’ Hermione hissed, ‘it’s against the rules.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron looked wide-eyed from Hermione’s face to the goblet in front of him. He didn’t listen to Hermione’s rant, grasping the cup and drinking every last drop of the contents. And after he was done, he leaned back in his seat, colour rushing to his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh god, I feel better already.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they walked to the pitch, brooms in hand, Ron was practically swaying in excitement. Ready to defend the hoops as his life depended on it. Harry smirked to himself, knowing Ron would be recoiling if he knew it was Draco Malfoy who was the reason for his gained confidence. It was a rather comical thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn’t have any room to linger on this as they mounted their brooms and the game began instantaneously. It was clearly working in their favour that Ron was in such an improved condition as the wind blaring around the players made it difficult for them to control their brooms. Dean was – to Harry’s relief – an adequate replacement for Katie, his relationship with Ginny was proving useful on the pitch, solidifying their chemistry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Slytherin’s were especially vicious today, as per usual, Harper like Harry was searching the pitch with scrunched eyes. Harry couldn’t help but see his shortcomings as a seeker in comparison to Draco. Whilst Draco was skilled at both searching for the snitch and throwing malicious retorts at Harry, Harper was only disadvantaging himself by attempting to do the same. Draco had always been better competition. His presence made the game more exhilarating.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry glanced at Ron to see him fulfilling his position as keeper with precision, his performance emitting loud cheers from the crowd. The sight was enough to make Harry’s chest fill with pride and it strengthened the want to win so immensely that Harry began to zoom around in search for the snitch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zachariah Smith, the clearly biased commentator, moved from insulting Gryffindor player to player through the intercom. Harry grimaced at this, but as Zachariah claimed Harper had located the snitch, Harry’s eyes suddenly moved feverishly. His heart dropped as he realised that Harper was indeed racing after the snitch. Harry sped up, racing to beat Harper to the snitch in a last attempt to win the game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Hey Harper!’ Harry yelled, hoping to distract him. ‘You know I hate Malfoy. but even I have to admit he’s a sodding better player than you!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This garnered the reaction Harry hoped for. As Harper jolted slightly in an attempt to seethe at Harry, Harry had surged forward. And in the next moment, the snitch was tightly within his grasp. The Gryffindor side of the stadium roared into applause, mingling in with the cheers of victory from the rest of the players. The familiar buzz was everywhere, drowning everyone – even the Slytherin’s – in an unbreakable ambience.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s grin was blinding, swelling his body with triumph. For a flicker of a moment, Harry thought of Draco, knowing if he was here right now, he would be cursing at him. He would be marching over to McGonagall right this instant to put on a display and insist Gryffindor had cheated. Harry almost missed his whining. But Harry’s thoughts were sliced in half as he was bombarded by screaming Gryffindors as soon as his feet hit the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was always chaos in the common room after a won game, but today, it seemed to be on another level. And Ron, specifically, was the centre of attention, standing within a circle of chanting people. The familiar ‘Weasley is our King’ song was being sung, Gryffindors yelling it as if it was their national anthem. Ron’s flushed delight was a sight to see and both of his best friends watched him bask in his well-deserved glory.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I still think you were wrong to give him that draught.’ Hermione muttered; arms crossed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Come on ‘Mione, look at him,’ Harry said, ‘he’s over the moon.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione gave Harry a wary glance, ‘where did you even get the it?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Madam Pomfrey.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘She just gave it to you just like that?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swallowed uneasily, feeling as if Hermione could see right through him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah, I just lied a bit.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But, why would she?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Maybe, she felt bad for me?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A cacophony of music began to reverberate around them and before Hermione could formulate a response, Ron was pulling into the circle. The uncertainty on her face settled for a few moments as they both gazed at each other. An array of raw emotions flickering between them. Everyone’s attention was on them, waiting for what seemed like the inevitable. Harry’s mouth parted as Ron pressed his lips to Hermione’s, their kiss only deepened as the common room roared with life. They both pulled away, panting before they erupted into laughter. Harry wondered if he’d become the third wheel now.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading &lt;33</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. That Arm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Draco was sitting amongst the gloomth of the room of requirement, the lofty shelves filled with miscellaneous objects harbouring a variety of uses towered over his figure. His grey eyes focused onto the vanishing cabinet in need of repairing, it was daunting to look at, the black surface matching the colour of the mark on his arm perfectly. It was fitting. Draco wasn’t skilled in fixing things, he had never been, but he had been learning. Bouts of information were being forced into his brain every day as he prepared for such a gruelling task.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not only was he dangerously behind in his schoolwork, Draco also had no spare time to dedicate to maintaining his social life or his own self-care (the blonde stubble on his chin being proof of this). The only person he had managed to converse with lately was Harry and it was a strange concept to comprehend. Draco swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth as the clear fact that none other than Harry Potter had saved his life only two days prior settled upon him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If someone had told him that such an absurd situation would occur a few months ago, he would’ve hexed them without hesitation. But now only an array of emotions mingled in his chest. Draco didn’t know what to make of Harry’s actions. Their relationship for the past five years had been strained and filled with mutual, odious words. He wouldn’t have held Harry accountable if he had chosen to walk away that night, it would’ve been justified and... expected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet, the way Harry’s voice had cracked as he asked Draco to get down showed he didn’t completely hate him as much as he had previously expressed. And god, Draco thought, he had acted like such a Gryffindor as he had climbed onto the ledge, desperate to prove Draco’s claims false.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A scowl filled Draco’s face as he realised how weak he had acted in response to Harry’s recklessness. He should’ve walked away and left Harry there just to prove that he really was malicious at heart, that he was the vile monster that everyone now perceived him to be. But something had tugged at his heart strings, an indecipherable feeling that made him nervously sweat and clench his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco knew at least one concrete fact; he didn’t want to see the boy who lived die. Acknowledging this had shifted something within him and he didn’t know if he was glad or not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing on his feet, Draco took slow steps towards the cabinet and traced the intricate carvings with his roughened fingertips. It was a beautiful object, incredibly useful to his cause. He felt almost guilty for what he would use it for in the future, his actions would only bring chaos and attach violent connotations to its beauty. But he couldn’t stop now, not when the situation involved numerous people. People he loved and people he hated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed out as his placid hand fell to his side. Draco figured that it had probably been hours since the quidditch game had ended. He wondered how it had gone. If anything, Draco wished he had been there. Not in the audience, but on a broom, practically fighting Harry to get to the fluttering snitch first. Draco had never missed a game since he had made the team, even when he had woken up one day in third year with a blinding headache that made stars dance amongst his vision, he had insisted on playing. And yet now, everything that brought him joy had been taken away from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A quick glance at his gold encrusted watch and Draco decided to call it a day, finding that his feet were again leading him towards the astronomy tower. The dungeons would only be overflowing with either a celebratory party or booze fest fuelled with self-pity. Whatever it would be, Draco preferred to relish in the fresh exposure of the night air instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But as he sat on the stone floor, gazing at the scattered scars and halved moon, not even several minutes passed before Draco heard the sound of feet tapping against the stairs. Without even turning his back, Draco knew exactly who it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You know Potter. I’m really thinking of reporting you for being a stalker now.’ Draco drawled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned his head to glare but halted at the sight of a panicked Harry clad only in flimsy pyjamas and clutching a piece of parchment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What the hell are you doing up here again?’ Harry rushed out, his eyes darting from Draco to the ledge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco instantly recognised the cause of his panic, ‘contrary to popular belief, I don’t only come to the astronomy tower to off myself.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A flush creeped onto Harry’s face as the realisation of the false alarm settled onto his face. Draco fought the desperate urge to smirk at him, finding his embarrassment almost comical. An awkward silence lapsed as Harry thrust the parchment into his pocket and shifted on his worn sneaker clad feet. He seemed to be contemplating something heavily, his eyes changing from one place to another. Draco turned back around, his eyes again attaching themselves to the indifferent sky that gleamed in many places beyond his comprehension.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sensed Harry move from behind him and from the corner of his eyes, Draco saw him seat himself on the cold ground, leaving a significant amount of space between their bodies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’re you doing Potter?’ Draco asked, keeping his attention on the stars and the stars only.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What does it look like I’m doing?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco glanced at him finally, ‘it looks like you’re invading my personal space yet again.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You act like I want to.’ Harry retorted defensively.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This irked Draco, ‘I never asked for you to be my fucking keeper.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco hated feeling like a burden, especially since he had gone through life, living comfortably depending only on himself. He had committed every indecent act alone and carried every burden that had followed alone. Draco wasn’t fond of changing the mechanics of his life and Harry Potter was these said pillars he had formed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I didn’t mean it like that.’ Harry’s voice was softer now, ‘come on Malfoy, you’re used to my retorts. Why so sensitive.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sensation of his stomach lurching made Draco’s scowl stay fixed on Harry’s face. There was a playfulness in Harry’s words that didn’t exist before. The usual mixture of malice and pain had left no room for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m not sensitive and with all seriousness, sod off Potter.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was unmoved by Draco’s forced coarseness and stayed seated, bringing his legs to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Aren’t you curious about the score?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco furrowed his brows, ‘what?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘The quidditch match.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Draco wanted to say no, he couldn’t deny his curiosity.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Who won?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A knowing smile spread across Harry’s lips as he didn’t reply immediately and looked at Draco as if he had won some secret bet with himself. Draco’s stomach lurched again. The speckled green of his eyes was too illuminous to overlook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Gryffindor, obviously.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco had to turn his head away to hide the slight quirk to his lips. ‘I see my draught helped with the weasel problem.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry glowers at the nickname again. ‘Shouldn’t you be shouting profanities at me right now?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Are you a masochist?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No!’ Harry spluttered, stumbling backwards on his hands. ‘It’s just a typical Malfoy reaction to expect.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco tilted his head, intrigued by Harry’s observance of his character. He thought it had just been who had been keeping silent notes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I don’t really care much for quidditch anymore.’ Draco said quietly, the lie tasting bitter on his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was silent for a few moments. ‘That’s not true.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Don’t act like you know me.’ Draco’s voice was nervous, he was suddenly self-conscious of his supposed transparency.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Anyone with eyes could see how much you enjoyed quidditch, especially when you tried to knock me off my broom.’ Harry retorts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, Draco had let out a short laugh. But before he could let it marinate in the air, Draco’s face was indifferent again. His cheeks flushed as he realised the momentary lapse in his façade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Draco remained quiet, Harry added, ‘well, you also cared enough to offer me that </span>
  <em>
    <span>un-poisoned</span>
  </em>
  <span> draught. We wouldn’t have won without it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco scoffed, ‘did you really think I poisoned it Potter?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No. You may be a massive prick, but a murderer? Not so much.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pure lack of hesitation in Potter’s voice made Draco’s entire body stiffen. Gone was the euphoric feeling in his chest and in its place, a weightiness dawned upon him. The realisation of where he was and who it was that he was conversing so lightly with flushed over him like a brutal tide of water. Draco stood up on his feet as if the ground was a dementor that had sucked every inch of happiness from within him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked up in bewilderment, the slate of stoicism between the Draco from a few moments ago and the Draco now was visible to his side. As Draco began to stalk away, Harry scrambled on the floor to grasp onto Draco’s arm, that arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hissed in pain, ‘let me fucking go.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry complied, breathing out in shaky regret, ‘where’re you going so suddenly?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco could sense Harry’s crawling over his body, hoping to locate an explanation for his change in disposition. It only worked to make Draco’s seething rage multiply. He was seeing black. How dare he think he could determine what Draco was and what he was not?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘If you come within an inch of me again Potter. I’ll make sure you’ll regret it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The iciness in his words wasn’t enough to subdue Harry who only attempted to grab Draco’s arm again, the other one this time. Draco, who’s patience was now wearing thinner as the moments passed, whispered a stinging hex with his wand.  Harry hissed in pain and stumbled backwards as he cradled his hand. Before he could pull his own wand out, Draco was thundering down the stairs, his black jacket flailing around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the next week, Harry’s hand continued to ache. Not only had Draco’s spell been a rather emphasised one, but he had managed to hit the hex at Harry’s scarred hand. The familiar stinging of the ‘I must not tell lies’ carved into his right hand only worked to put Harry in a rather foul mood. Despite his friend’s questions, Harry couldn’t tell them what had exactly occurred, especially since he would have to explain the context as to why he and Draco had been up at the astronomy tower in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the grounds became enveloped with blankets of frosty snow and the familiar decorations consisting of red and green tinsel and the odd slither of mistletoe that prompted girls to almost throw themselves at him, Harry realised Christmas was far approaching. He was relieved that he would be spending it at the burrow this year. The Weasley’s always made Christmas warm and contrasted the expectations he had had of Christmas as a child with the Dursley’s and besides, for the first time since he had stepped foot in the school, Harry decided he needed a break from Hogwarts. And more specifically, a certain boy who lingered under its roof.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ache in hand was only a harsh ache of reality that he and Draco could never be friends, there was always some kind of illustrious obstacle situated between them. And Harry was tired of falling over too many times, struggling to grasp Draco’s ever shifting moods. But one thing he couldn’t deny was that whatever he did and wherever he went, Draco was constantly prolonged within the mist of Harry’s sub conscious. Harry just couldn’t figure out if it was his suspicions that persisted or whether his feelings towards Draco had suddenly shifted to something… less hateful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On Harry’s walk back from the library where he had spent the last few hours alone, completing another monstrous essay Snape had assigned them, he noticed Professor Slughorn ahead of him. Harry had almost forgotten the task Dumbledore had assigned to him amongst the lieu of tailing Draco, schoolwork and enacting his rightful position as a third wheel. Seeing it as his chance to impress the oblivious professor, Harry had to practically run to catch up with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Professor Slughorn!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn, upon recognising Harry’s voice, swivelled his body to face the panting boy. The fondness clearly showed on his face as his eyes crinkled in joy, forming creases in his coarse skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry! How can I assist you on this lovely evening?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry beamed at him, ‘just wanted to say good evening sir, I’ve just come back from the library.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn raised his patchy brows, his eyes catching onto the potion’s textbook pressed to Harry’s side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Merlin’s beard, studying this late? You really are Lily’s son.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had to stifle the laugh threatening to bubble up his throat, he had never been told that his actions mimicked his mother. Everyone – Professor Snape specially – always insisted that Harry had not only gained his father’s looks, but also acted almost identical to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Just thought I’d read ahead for the post-Christmas content.’ Harry lied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ah yes Christmas!’ Slughorn exclaimed, ‘I’ve just sent out my owls for my Christmas party, yours should be arriving soon.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Christmas party?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes! I had one every year back in the days, I figured it was only right to obey tradition!’ Slughorn explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry knew this impromptu party would allow him room to soften up Slughorn even more. ‘Look forward to it sir!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn glanced at his watch before looking back at Harry, ‘I must be off, but do feel free to bring a pretty girl with you my boy!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Will do.’ Harry replied, waving his hand at the retreating professor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The exertion of effort had tired Harry out immediately after the conversation was over. The warmth of the common room and his favourite seat on the scarlet sofa next to the fireplace was calling Harry’s name. However, as he climbed through the portrait hole, Harry was aggravated by the sight of his two best friends who seemed to be clasped in an embrace in the very seat he had been thinking of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You know, I really am happy for you both, but could you snog somewhere else.’ Harry remarked, his eyebrow quirked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione jumped at the sound of Harry’s voice, a blush taking over her pale complexion. Ron, on the other hand, seemed unbothered, smirking at Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sorry mate,’ Ron said, gesturing for Harry to take his usual seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s figure slumped back into the cushioned surface, the relaxation drumming through him. A small cough from Hermione who still seemed embarrassed made him look at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Did you hear Slughorn’s throwing some kind of Christmas party?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, Hermione seemed to already know, nodding her head. ‘I got the owl after dinner. Apparently, it’s supposed to be pretty extravagant – according to Cormac McLaggen that is.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mention of Cormac made both Harry and Ron grimace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Course he left me off the invite list again,’ Ron said bitterly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leaning over Harry, Hermione placed her hand onto Ron’s. ‘Don’t worry, you can be my plus one.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked down at their hands, feeling very out of place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Okay, deal.’ Ron muttered, fighting a smile again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m still here.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both of his friends looked at him with amusement, breaking their hands away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Who do you plan on taking for your plus one?’ Hermione questioned him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn’t know why his mind had pondered on Draco for a few milli-seconds before he swallowed and gazed across the common room. A girl with curly, raven hair and sterling white teeth grinned at him flirtatiously, but Harry only looked pained in response and averted his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Not sure yet. But I’ll find someone.’ </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>christmas party is next &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Gatecrashing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘I thought you said you’d find someone?’ Hermione said disapprovingly as Harry descended from the boy’s dormitories, clad in his brand-new dress robes and clearly alone.</p><p>Harry rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, ‘well I asked Luna, but Neville had already asked her beforehand.’</p><p>Hermione crossed her arms over the stark wine-coloured dress she was wearing, a quiet Ron next to her was attired in dress-robes very unlike the ones from the Yule ball. The tie he was wearing matched perfectly to the colour of Hermione’s dress and Harry knew that Hermione had most likely transfigured it to match.</p><p>‘You do know that half of the female population at this school is in love with you, right?’ Ron said.</p><p>A pained look passed through Harry’s eyes at the mention of his supposed popularity amongst the girls. It was solely due to the girls who had tripped over their feet for his attention and an invite to Slughorn’s party that Harry had decided to attend solo. Inviting a random girl would only open an opportunity for an attachment to grow and he had developed a paranoia that one of them would be slipping him a love potion.</p><p>‘I don’t have a fancy for any romance in my life right now.’ Harry admitted.</p><p>Ron and Hermione exchanged a look.</p><p>‘You could’ve asked Ginny,’ Hermione suggested, causing Ron to snap his head towards Harry.</p><p>‘Ginny?’</p><p>Harry gritted his teeth, fighting the urge to shoot Hermione an irate glare for bringing up the topic in front of Ron. The last thing he wanted was to cause any misunderstandings over his non-existent feelings for his best friend’s sister.</p><p>‘Can you stop pushing that Hermione? I told you I don’t like Ginny.’</p><p>A light laugh from behind the trio made them turn around.</p><p>The amusement on Ginny’s face was enough to make Harry’s ears redden, ‘that’s always nice to hear Harry.’</p><p>‘I-I didn’t mean it like that,’ Harry spluttered.</p><p>‘Relax Harry, I know.’ Ginny rolled her eyes, ‘if it makes you feel better, I don’t like you too.’</p><p>Harry felt his chest unconstrict and grinned at the sparkling of playfulness in her eyes.</p><p>‘Thank god,’ Ron mumbled. ‘Don’t wanna lose my best mate to my sister, that’s just sad.’</p><p>‘Shut up Ron.’ Both Harry and Ginny chimed synchronously, causing all four of them to burst into laughter.</p><p>As their laughter quelled down, Ginny held out a piece of folded parchment towards Harry.</p><p>‘I almost forgot; McGonagall told me to pass this on. It’s from Dumbledore.’ She said, waving at the trio as she ventured towards the girl’s dormitories.</p><p>Harry’s eyes glided over the brief note written in the professor’s cursive handwriting.</p><p>‘What does it say?’ Ron asked as both him and Hermione leaned over to read the words.</p><p>‘No more lessons till after Christmas,’ Harry replied, stashing the note into his trouser pocket alongside his invisibility cloak.</p><p>With a glance at her watch and a realisation that the party had begun half an hour ago, Hermione ushered both boys out of the common room and towards Slughorn’s office. Harry hadn’t expected the party to be tainted with such a vestige of formality, however as they passed through the tight security, they walked into a room filled with people of importance. Within the vicinity of his first steps in the room, Harry had recognised a member of the weird sisters, a quidditch player he distinguished from Ron’s posters and countless ministry officials.</p><p>‘Fancy.’ Ron muttered to which the other two nodded in agreement.</p><p>‘Harry!’</p><p>Harry again, put on his Slughorn-approved façade and swivelled to face the red-faced professor, a wine goblet clasped in his hand.</p><p>‘I was just wondering where you and Miss Granger had gotten to.’ Slughorn chortled, moving past Ron to greet Hermione.</p><p>Before Ron could open his mouth and say something enraged with bitterness, Hermione was dragging him away towards a waiter holding a tray of hor d'oeuvres.</p><p>‘This is quite a party sir,’ Harry said, his eyes glazing over the extravagant decorations set up.</p><p>Slughorn chuckled, ‘is it? Come on my boy, I’ve got people desperate to make your acquaintance!’</p><p>To Harry’s utter dismay, the next hour was spent with Slughorn moving him from person to person who were all as equally thrilled to meet the chosen one. Harry had never been skilled with small talk and often found himself at a loss of words when asked a question, Slughorn would see that as his chance to step in and steer the conversation.</p><p>The things I do for Dumbledore, Harry thought as Slughorn excused himself for a few moments, leaving Harry alone with a man who insisted he write an autobiography. Harry knew people saw him as a celebrity of some kind with the rumours circulating about him in the daily prophet, but he had never seen himself as anyone crucially important. If anything, he hated being the focus of the public eye, especially when it meant everyone would be closely observing his every action or word.</p><p>Ensuring he had spent enough time debating with the man within Slughorn’s peripheral, Harry excused himself and attempted to locate his friends. He waved at Neville and Luna who stood across the room, but both failed to respond, discussing something too deeply to notice Harry. An abrupt grip on his arm made Harry look up startled to see Hermione looking stricken with irritation.</p><p>‘Hermione?’</p><p>‘I just left Cormac and Ron arguing over who’s the better keeper,’ she told him.</p><p>Harry smiled amusedly, ‘god, they’re never gonna stop, are they?’</p><p>‘Nope,’ Hermione said, picking up a goblet filled with a sparkling pink drink. ‘Cormac seems to quite like you though.’</p><p>The smile on his face fell. ‘He does?’</p><p>Harry picked up goblet, guzzling the fizzing liquid to calm his parched throat. He detected something like speculation settle on Hermione’s face as she observed him.</p><p>‘Yes. If I recall correctly, he said something like, I can’t believe someone like Potter has such an incompetent fool as his best mate. I just left them to it.’</p><p>The lack of anger in Hermione’s tone made Harry raise an eyebrow at her.</p><p>‘What?’ She said, ‘Ron can defend himself; he has a rather colourful vocabulary you know.’</p><p>They both chuckled at this, knowing that Ron was most likely screaming profanities at Cormac with the colour of his face matching his hair. Hermione’s eyes caught onto something behind Harry, her smile dimming into confusion, causing Harry to turn his body in one swift motion. He took a few steps closer instantaneously at the sight of Filch gripping onto a nervous looking Draco dressed in all black. Filch dragged the fidgeting boy towards where Slughorn stood with a guest, an eerie silence fell upon the rest of the party.</p><p>‘I caught this boy loitering on the seventh-floor professor,’ Filch said maliciously, knowing he was humiliating Draco in front of everyone right now. ‘He claims to have been invited to your party, but I assume he was gate crashing.’</p><p>Something raged within Harry as Draco averted his eyes to the ground, the dark shadows under his eyes and slumped figure making him look like a helpless child. Harry didn’t know what exactly possessed him as he stepped forward.</p><p>‘He wasn’t gate crashing,’ he spoke up loudly and turned towards Slughorn. ‘I invited him professor, you said I could bring someone along.’</p><p>Numerous pairs of eyes – including Draco’s – looked towards Harry in an overflowing level of astonishment. Here he was, the boy who lived, publicly coming to the aid of the son of a well-known death eater. Harry knew he was being completely irrational by what he was doing right now, but the waiver of embarrassment on Draco’s face had reminded him of himself. The ministry’s insistence that Harry was a renowned liar last year had led him to suffer many humiliating instances and he knew Draco was already under much scrutiny for his father’s actions.</p><p>Slughorn stared at Harry with widened eyes for several moments before collecting himself, ‘let him go Filch. It’s Christmas and you’re ruining the festivity with your false accusations.’</p><p>Filch scowled at Harry as if he was the one who had said the words and instantly let go of Draco who was now straightening the creases in his clothes, unwilling to meet Harry’s gaze. Slughorn was quick to get the party going again, directing his guest’s attention towards something else, but as Harry – amidst the bustle – walked closer to Draco, people whispered.</p><p>‘Draco – ‘</p><p>‘Why the fuck did you do that?’ Draco hissed at him, stormy eyes frantically darting across the room. ‘Forget this.’</p><p>Like always, Draco was running away from him again, desperate to escape the heated attention he couldn’t afford. This time, Harry followed him into the corridor, knowing he was only escalating his problems as his friend’s watched him leave. But for some reason, this recklessness was difficult to control.</p><p>‘Why do you always have to run away?’ Harry said in exasperation, following Draco’s hurrying figure.</p><p>Draco whipped his head towards him, ‘didn’t I tell you to not come near me again?’</p><p>‘That’s not something you say to someone who just saved you from a very awkward predicament.’</p><p>A scoff left Draco’s mouth as he strode closer to Harry, taking a threatening stance upon his body as if Harry would begin to duel him.</p><p>‘Is that why you’re always trying to save me Potter? Do you want me to get on my fucking knees and kiss your feet?’ Draco’s words were rushed with anger.</p><p>Harry shook his head, ‘that’s not why.’</p><p>‘Then what?’</p><p>Observing the colour of Draco’s complexion in the light, Harry realised just how malnourished he looked. His face had a gauntness that Harry recognised as a result of a mixture of nightmares and a lack of nutrition.</p><p>‘You just looked desperate okay?’ Harry replied awkwardly, ‘I just wanted to help out.’</p><p>Draco stared blankly at him, the creases in his face smoothing out as his face relaxed. Harry couldn’t comprehend what he was thinking as a minute of silence passed. It suddenly felt as if they were the only two people under the castle’s roof, the sound of their mingled breathing permeating the bubble of air around them. With his eye’s shifting upwards, Draco’s face softened enough for Harry to follow his direction of sight.</p><p>‘Mistletoe.’ Harry breathed out, both boys’ trailing gazes latching themselves back to each other.</p><p>The heat travelled up Harry’s body, enflaming his pale face and his breathing only hitched further at Draco’s subtle glance towards his lips. Something unexpected pulled at Harry’s heart but before he could begin to acknowledge it, Snape’s voice interrupted their trance.</p><p>‘Mr Malfoy!’</p><p>The colour drained from Draco’s face as Snape stalked towards them, looking ridden with rage. He ignored Harry’s presence, stopping next to Draco’s rigid figure.</p><p>‘I’d like a word in my office.’ He seethed. ‘I’m sure you can find your way back to the party Potter.’</p><p>The finality in his tone left no room for Draco to argue, Harry watched as he mindlessly followed Snape. As Draco walked away, his body slumped down in defeat and Harry knew he had to overhear their conversation. He waited for them to turn the corner before he pulled out his invisibility cloak and flung it upon his body.</p><p>By the time Harry reached outside Snape’s office, the conversation was already well under way. He pressed his ear against the door, desperate to hear it.</p><p>‘I don’t need your help. I don’t care what my mother says, I’m not a child to be coddled.’ Draco’s voice rang.</p><p>‘You haven’t been very discreet with your actions Draco. I made your mother an unbreakable vow, let me assist you in whatever your plans are.’ Snape replied.</p><p>Harry’s brow furrowed at the kindness in Snape’s voice, it seemed out of place and he had never heard the man speak in such a gentle way.</p><p>Draco’s voice, however, was anything but gentle. ‘I’m working just fine on my own. I don’t need your concern or anyone else’s.’</p><p>‘You’re afraid Draco.’ Snape replied immediately.</p><p>‘I’m not afraid.’ The slight meekness in Draco’s voice suggested otherwise, ‘I was chosen for this. I won’t let you take my glory.’</p><p>The sound of footsteps made Harry rush to the side, the door flung open and a distressed Draco began striding towards the dungeons. Harry held his breath, pondering over the words he had just overheard.</p><p>***</p><p>Almost reaching the Slytherin common room, Draco was agitated and ready to explode upon the next person who interacted with him. But as a concerned looking Blaise stood waiting at the entrance, he held it back for a few moments more. When he was in the comfort of his bed with the curtains draw, that’s when Draco would cast a silencing charm and scream till his throat was sore.</p><p>‘Shouldn’t you be at the party?’ Draco asked, stopping directly in front of his friend.</p><p>‘It was boring, besides, you and Potter?’</p><p>Blaise raised an eyebrow at him, awaiting some kind of explanation, but Draco didn’t even have one.</p><p>He only shrugged. ‘Your guess is better than mine Blaise.’</p><p>‘At least it kept you out of detention.’</p><p>Draco nodded, swaying on his feet as the exhaustion from spending the entire day in the room of requirement lingered upon him.</p><p>‘When do you go back to the Manor?’ Blaise pressed.</p><p>‘Uh…’ Draco trailed off, surprised that Blaise was willing to continue their conversation. ‘I’m staying at Hogwarts for Christmas this year.’</p><p>Blaise let out a breath of relief, ‘Theo’s staying behind too, maybe you can spend it together?’</p><p>‘He hates me and I’m not going to beg for his forgiveness.’ Draco said immediately, wincing slightly at the mention of Theo.</p><p>Shaking his head, Blaise gave Draco a look filled with seriousness.</p><p>‘He’s your best friend – ‘</p><p>‘<em>Was</em> my best friend,’ Draco corrected him, ‘things have changed Blaise. I’ve changed.’</p><p>There was nothing left to be said and Blaise was silenced, blinking at Draco who was now moving towards the common room.</p><p>‘I just hope it’s worth it,’ Blaise’s words made Draco freeze. ‘I just hope everything you’re losing out on is worth it Draco.’</p><p>Draco carried on walking.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>well...thank you mistletoe&lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Avoidance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Avoiding the problem at hand had been Harry’s top priority. He had managed to delay giving his friends an explanation for his unsuited behaviour, pretending to have fallen asleep when Ron had returned to their dormitory late at night with his shirt crumpled and face flushed. He had needed space to ponder over Draco’s words, Harry’s previous averted suspicions had arisen in front of him again, casting Draco as the villain once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no doubt that Draco was working on something, his disappearance off the map and his destructively misanthropic exterior all led to some overarching picture. Harry thought he’d feel elated by this information, it being something to solidify the theory he had brewing at the start of the school year, yet now it made him feel…used.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He and Draco were not friends, their few interactions hadn’t led them to that destination, but there was something there. It was something microscopic and difficult to grasp onto, but Harry had felt a pull towards his former enemy, it had made him want to deconstruct the scaffolds of distance that existed between them. And Draco lips, even to himself Harry couldn’t pretend that they hadn’t looked inviting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning, Harry had avoided breakfast in the great hall too, there were too many people he didn’t want to face. So, he ventured towards Hagrid’s hut to wish him a Merry Christmas before they boarded the train to the Burrow for the holidays. Hagrid had been slightly dull with pettiness as Harry hadn’t visited him in a while, but after several minutes he had begun wailing over Aragog’s impending death and pushed his infamous rock cakes towards Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry sat down in his usual seat in the trio’s favourite compartment on the Hogwarts Express later that day, he knew his friends were looking at him expectantly, awaiting his words. There was no more escaping now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What?’ Harry said, lifting his legs onto the seat next to him, his back pressed against the window stricken with condensation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You know what,’ Hermione raised her eyebrow in a very Mrs Weasley-esque way. ‘What was that last night?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah mate, defending Malfoy?’ Ron added, grimacing as if Draco’s name was bitter tasting on his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s body became warm with the nerves, he had already conjured up an excuse to tell them, but it seemed difficult to verbalise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I was being tactical.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Tactical.’ Hermione repeated in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded vigorously, ‘yes, tactical. He’s more likely to let his guard down if I’m doing him favours.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron snorted in amusement, earning him a sharp glare from Hermione.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I think it’s a bit too late to play besties with Malfoy.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But the saying, keep your enemies close,’ Harry pressed on, ‘it makes sense, and it worked out kind of…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘How?’ Hermione asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I overheard a conversation between him and Snape outside the party. It didn’t exactly…put any of them in good lighting.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His friends leaned closer in anticipation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Snape said something about making an unbreakable vow with Malfoy’s mum?’ Harry explained, ‘what is that exactly.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘An unbreakable vow?’ Hermione was taken aback by this, ‘you’re sure he said that? It’s a pretty serious vow to make Harry, failure to uphold an unbreakable vow leads to…well, death.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Death?’ Harry straightened up, ‘They were discussing some kind of task, him and Snape, something that’s making Malfoy scared. Isn’t it possible Voldemort’s getting him to do something inside Hogwarts? It’d make more than enough sense since he’s a death eater now too, Snape hasn’t got the best track record.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione winced at Voldemort’s name, turning her face to side to hide her distaste. The rushing of words and conclusions from Harry’s mouth was enough to make Ron look at him in a mixture of worry and interest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘We still don’t know if he is actually a death eater Harry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry opened his mouth to protest but Hermione held up her hand up, ‘the unbreakable vow part is slightly strange, but if I remember right Dumbledore told you he trusts Snape more than anyone and I know he’d notice if some kind of conspiracy was unfolding at Hogwarts.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Dumbledore can be wrong!’ Harry angrily bit out; his brows furrowed in frustration at Hermione again diluting his theory. ‘Why are you so intent on proving me wrong Hermione?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione’s cheeks reddened, ‘this isn’t about proving you wrong Harry. I just think you’re being a little too obsessive over Draco Malfoy lately. It’s worrying…especially when you should be focusing on your lessons with Dumbledore instead.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m not obsessed.’ Harry retorted, ‘Ron, you can see where I’m coming from, right?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron avoided his girlfriend’s gaze, knowing she would be adamant on him agreeing with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I mean, I do. Malfoy’s always been a bit wonky with his pure-blood maniac death eater father breathing down his neck, but is Narcissa Malfoy even a death eater?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A silence ensued as Harry sat there, mouth parted. He hadn’t ever thought about this detail, thinking it as insignificant to the cause.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘She must be if her husband’s one.’ He replied finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘The ministry checked her at her husband’s hearing Harry, according to the daily prophet, she didn’t have the mark.’ Hermione pointed out. ‘And since this unbreakable vow seems to be about Draco…let’s say it’s about her asking Snape to keep him safe, would she really let her son take the dark mark if she cares so much about him?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘She had no choice then,’ Harry immediately replied, ‘or…I don’t know, she wanted to seek Voldemort’s approval?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another period of silence loomed till the compartment door opened and the trolley lady asked if any of them needed something. The usual childish interest in the various sweets had vanished from within the trio and they all shook their heads, the morbid topic on hand dampening all of their moods. Once the door was tightly shut again, Ron turned his attention towards Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Look Harry, if you really are stressed about all these suspicions surrounding Malfoy and his... extracurricular activities, just let one of the order members know. Tonks and Remus are coming over for Christmas and dad’s always around too.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘That’s a sensible idea.’ Hermione added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sigh escaped Harry’s mouth, the Deja vu settling in. It was twice now that his friends had shot down his theories in this very compartment and he was becoming tired of it. He had hoped Ron and Hermione would join him in scrutinising Draco and holding him in suspicious eyes just as he was, Harry needed this push. Because now, he could feel the other feelings he harboured slithering towards his heart. Harry cared about Draco to some degree, he cared enough to want his suspicions to be baseless. He wished Draco was good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I guess I can do that.’ Harry muttered, leaning his head against the chill of the windowpane.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Christmas day had been one of the loneliest days of Draco’s life. He was used to the customs of the manor; an extravagant spread of breakfast foods would be laid out in the dining room in the morning and he would eat till he could no more. His mother would scold him to pace his eating and he would rush to open his pile of presents. Draco had been spoiled with gifts throughout his life, whatever he desired would materialise in his room only a few hours later after he iterated his wish. He had never known deprivation or longing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Afternoon would bring enchanted snow, traditional Christmas lunch and the presence of his friends. He would venture into the grounds of the manor with Theo and Blaise after lunch, chasing the peacocks and testing their latest gadgets. And then, they would sneak some fire-whiskey from Lucius’s cabinet in his study and take it to Draco’s bedroom, consuming enough for their minds to cloud with illusionary euphoria.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Christmas tradition, a stable schedule that they abided year after year. But now, he was neither home nor happy. Draco scowled at the scattered students in the great hall for Christmas lunch. He felt like an orphan and bitterly wondered if Potter had felt this exact way. It wasn't pleasant at all, only making Christmas all the more disappointing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gone were his lavish meal spreads and expensive presents and as he unwrapped the present his mother had sent him, Draco emptied a little more. She had given him a specially tailored suit, all black, even the tie and cufflinks with a simple note stating, ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>For when it’s time</span>
  </em>
  <span>.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He almost let out an unamused laugh, wondering if this was a present or a burden. The fabric felt heavy in his hands, already tainted with the regret that sprouted from his fingertips. Draco quickly wrapped the clothes back into the brown parchment, hoping to hide them from view, but it was too late, his appetite was already spoiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He left behind his cold Christmas turkey and strode back to the dungeons, hoping to take another scalding shower to bring himself back. But as he descended into the dormitory, Draco noticed Theo sitting on his bed, looking through his spread of opened presents. Something tugged at Draco as he recognised Blaise and Pansy’s writing, they had sent Theo gifts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo looked up at Draco’s shifting figure in the doorway, ‘what?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Uh,’ Draco mumbled uneasily, ‘merry Christmas.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holding his breath, Draco waited for Theo to say something sarcastic in response, but he didn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Merry Christmas Drac.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile tugged at Draco’s lips at the sound of his childhood nickname, he nodded in response to Theo’s greeting and went to sit down on his own respective bed. He placed the package from his mother on his bedside table, hoping to obliviate it from his mind for now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Blaise sent this for you.’ Theo said after a few moments, holding up a small, wrapped parcel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco stared at it, unaware of how to react to a present he hadn’t expected. He didn’t think any of his friends still cared enough to buy him Christmas gifts, but this small gesture made his cheeks warm. He silently rose from his bed to accept it from Theo’s outstretched hand. Draco unwrapped the box and opened it to see a circular locket engraved with a dragon, a long, silver chain attached at the top of it. As he tried to open it, Draco found it empty, but unusually spacious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘He said it’s a memory catcher of some sort,’ Theo explained, noticing Draco’s confusion. ‘You speak memories that make you happy into the locket and it’s supposed to keep you warm whenever you’re…sad.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Wow.’ Draco breathed; eyes wide as his thumb swept over the dragon. He smiled at the meaning instilled in it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sadly, I’ve been too preoccupied with being pissed at you to buy you a present.’ Theo drawled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco stared at him, trying to decipher whether he was joking or not. It was difficult to tell, especially when Theo had obliterated any kind of friendship that had existed between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Why aren’t you home?’ Draco murmured; the locket tightly gripped in his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Why aren’t you?’ Theo retorted, ‘I thought you’d be tripping over your own two feet to be back at the manor and basking in your new status. Tired of it already?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo expected a reaction, he was craving one by the look in his eyes. But Draco was preoccupied with his melancholy, too consumed by it to give one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What did I do to you Theo?’ Draco asked in a tired voice, ‘what do you want me to say?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The snow began to fall again, its thick, white flakes swept past the window. The room around them became colder, the temperature dropping ever so slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What did you do to yourself Draco?’ Theo responded, ‘you promised you wouldn’t and yet, you did.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo’s melancholy was almost identical to his own, his eyes wavered and eyes creased. Suddenly, he was younger, the Theo in front of him was the one he had first met at the ripe age of five. It was the Theo who had cried over a peacock nipping at his ankle and the same Theo who had sought refuge in Draco’s room when his father became violent. He was vulnerable, but Draco was not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I made a choice.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the guests began to arrive at the burrow for Christmas lunch, Harry didn’t even have time to think, let alone ponder on his Draco suspicions. Mrs Weasley had outdone herself, filling everyone’s plates with perfectly cooked turkey and an array of sides. It was enough food to feed them all for several days, but Harry made sure to eat to his fill and more. He had never experienced a Christmas like this before and being surrounded by people he loved made it all the more special.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The food didn’t cease after lunch, as they all settled around the house, they indulged in various mince pies and countless helpings of Christmas pudding. Ron and Hermione had disappeared over the course of the past hour and Harry was left alone with Remus, Tonks and Mr Weasley. Despite Remus’s stories about the werewolves he had been amongst for the past few months, Harry found himself slowly becoming weary. He suddenly wished he had accepted the twin’s invitation to test their new line of products. Anything to keep him occupied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A conversation between Tonks and Remus ensued and Mr Weasley turned towards Harry with a slight quirk to his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘They’ll probably go on talking for the rest of the night now,’ he mused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded in agreement, ‘I didn’t realise how many couples I was surrounded by till now.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mr Weasley let out an amused laugh and gestured for Harry to take another mince pie. Harry obliged and bit into the flaky pastry, the sweetness settled on his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ah right, Ron told me earlier about your suspicions concerning Draco Malfoy. I was in charge of the search of Malfoy Manor after his father’s arrest.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry almost choked on the bite in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Even though we didn’t actually find anything at the house, I can look into doing another search.’ Mr Weasley continued kindly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The warmth spread through Harry as he became annoyed that Ron had gone ahead and told his father without consulting Harry first. Yes, he had suspicions about Draco that were difficult to quell, but he had been reluctant about seeking the order’s help. If anything, Harry wanted to deal with things alone, he wanted to be able to seek the answers himself. And now, Mr Weasley was ready to infiltrate Draco’s home and again, turn his world upside down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I think Ron possibly exaggerated - ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, he was pretty serious Harry and he said you are too, so I’ll definitely look into it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Mr Weasley was trying to reassure Harry and was supporting him like always, Harry felt as if he was on fire. He could only nod a thanks, his tongue feeling heavy in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m just gonna pop to the loo.’ Harry excused himself.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mr Weasley hadn’t detected the shift in Harry’s mood as he stalked up the staircase. Harry really had meant to go to the bathroom at first and attempt to calm himself but as he saw Ron descending the stairs, a creature swirling inside him was desperate to lash out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You alright mate?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The grin on Ron’s face only made Harry’s resolve strengthen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Why did you tell your dad about Malfoy?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both boys stopped in the middle of the staircase, Ron on a step higher, looked down at Harry in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’d you mean? We said we were gonna tell one of the order members, so I just happened to mention it to dad at breakfast.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I didn’t ask you to do it on my behalf,’ Harry said bitterly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron frowned at the annoyance visible across Harry’s features, ‘I didn’t know I needed your permission. Why’re you so annoyed anyways? Weren’t you the one who wanted someone to listen to your Malfoy obsession.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something ominous surged within Harry. ‘For the last sodding time, I don’t have a Malfoy obsession. I just wanted to sort this out myself without you butting in again.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span> ‘Fine.’ Ron spat, equally as annoyed now. ‘Sorry for being helpful, you ungrateful git.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He bumped Harry’s shoulder with his own as he descended the stairs, an urgent stomping resonated around Harry. Usually, the slightest of arguments with Ron made him instantaneously guilty, but this time, the feeling didn’t arise. Instead, he stood on the stairs for several moments, fists clenched as he struggled to calm his anger. This was a new feeling; one he would become wary of. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I started school today so I won't be able to update everyday anymore but I do hope you finish this in 2-3 weeks so updates won't be that late! Thank you for reading &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Bezoar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Ron had refused to talk to Harry for the next few days, ensuring everyone at the burrow was aware of the discomforting hostility between them. It made Harry feel out of place, here he was, privileged enough to be staying with the Weasley’s for the holidays and yet, he was antagonising Ron. He knew even Hermione was on Ron’s side, after all she always was since their relationship had begun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Needing a breath of fresh air, Harry had left the house to dwell in the field surrounding the burrow. It was frosty, the grass was stiff against his hands, yet Harry was relishing in the cold air that whipped against his face. It was as if he was finally breathing and the solitude meant he could inspect his potions textbook in relative peace. The pages fluttered with the wind, threatening to rip away from the spine and travel far away, but Harry held them down. His eyes caught onto a spell scrawled in the corner of a page.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sectumsempra.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry whispered the word, seeing how it sounded on his tongue and looked curiously at the note written next to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For enemies.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Folding the page for future use, Harry began to quickly turn the pages in search for more spells. Even though Hermione constantly warned Harry against the dangers of trusting the prince so blindly, it was something he couldn’t help. Not only had the prince assisted him in becoming the best at potions with his simple revisions, but he was also teaching Harry spells he would need, especially for the inevitable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was naïve, this Harry knew for sure, but it almost felt as if he was destined to receive this specific potion’s textbook, as if he and the prince were meant to connect like this. Out of everyone, Harry was the one who was more than willing to blindly trust this man who he had never met before and practice his spells as if he was an obedient apprentice. It sometimes seemed as if Harry was unprepared for what the prophecy had theorised, and he hoped that Dumbledore would teach him advanced spells that he would need. But he only revealed details about Tom Riddle and his eventful life to Harry, essentially, Dumbledore was only offering the knowledge without the means.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince, however, had equipped Harry with not only the knowledge of making a variety of prolific potions that would serve useful later, but had also given him the defensive spells he so utterly craved. Harry laid down, lifting the book to cover the sun from blinding him when he heard the crunching of grass around him. Looking up, he squinted at Ginny who smiled down at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’re you doing out here alone?’ She asked, raising the muffin she had brought Harry in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sat up in one motion, his stomach gurgling with the need for food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Needed some air,’ he mumbled before biting into the soft cranberry and white chocolate muffin he had taken from her hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ginny sat down next to him; her legs stretched out in front of her. She watched him eat in amusement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Right, because it seemed to me that you’re out here to hide from Ron.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Maybe I am.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What even happened?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swallowed his bite, ‘I kind of blew up on him.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You?’ Ginny said incredulously, ‘since when are you the one starting the arguments?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Not so sure myself.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ginny didn’t reply immediately, her gaze lingered on the crinkled muffin case that lay discarded on the side as she deeply though about something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’s all this about Malfoy?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sigh escaped Harry’s lips at the question, he had been hoping Ron wouldn’t have mentioned the topic of their argument to anyone else, but it seemed like common knowledge to everyone around the burrow now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon seeing the irritation spread across his slightly pink face, Ginny quickly added, ‘I overheard you both on the stairs the other day, Ron didn’t tell me or anything.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh.’ Harry said, finding it difficult to pinpoint where all of his frustration was dwelling from.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I was just surprised that you were angry,’ Ginny pressed, ‘I just thought you’d be happy to get one in on Malfoy.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I would,’ Harry quickly lied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile stretched Ginny’s lips, ‘you’re lying.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m not.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You are, I’ve known you for five years Harry. I know that you’re lying when your eyebrow twitches.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry touched his eyebrow, surprised that Ginny had noticed, ‘my eyebrow doesn’t twitch!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It does,’ Ginny told him, ‘so is there a reason why you’re suddenly a Malfoy sympathiser?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A minute went by and Harry’s lips remained tightly pressed together as he contemplated telling Ginny the partial truth. He looked at her soft face scattered with freckles and placidity and wondered how she would react. Harry knew exactly how his best friends would react if he relayed the interactions he had experienced with Draco, but Ginny? He wasn’t so sure about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘He sent me letters over the summer,’ Harry said slowly, Ginny’s eyes widened. ‘But only like five and they stopped after a few weeks.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What type of letters?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shook his head vigorously, ‘not love letters if that’s what you’re implying. They were just casual letters where he told me stories…mainly about his childhood.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘About his childhood.’ Ginny repeated, the bewildered expression on her face made it seem as if Harry had just confessed that he was a squib. ‘This is crazy. Malfoy sending you letters about his childhood for no apparent reason.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’ve thought over it a million times, but I still can’t determine why. But...’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But what?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swallowed, the blood-stained letter materialising within his mind, ‘the last letter he sent just stated he wouldn’t be sending anymore and to burn them.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He decided to leave the detail about the blood out, unsure of whether it would be criminalising or not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ginny straightened up, her eyes moving frantically from place to place as if she was piecing things together. ‘If he told you to burn them then surely it’s because he doesn’t want anyone to know he sent them. Did you?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Mhm?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Did you burn them?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking his head, Harry replied, ‘yes. But not because he said so, I just had to put on a show to Ron and ‘Mione so they didn’t think anything of them.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘This is a lot to process…’ Ginny trailed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if every moment spent with Draco had suddenly become acidic within his stomach, Harry wanted to blurt everything to Ginny and tell her about everything, no matter how horrendous she would find it. But he satiated this desire, knowing that Draco was after all, still the enemy. Being associated with Draco in such a way would only make his friends think he was being fickle with his emotions. The emotional turmoil was bothering Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Honestly Harry,’ Ginny started after moments of silence passed, ‘I wouldn’t see those letters as anything significant. Malfoy is…well, he’s Malfoy. He’s always been an arse, only Merlin knows what he’s playing at.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry bowed his head, ‘yeah, I guess you’re right.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You…you don’t like him or like see him differently now though, right?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No!’ Harry interjected hurriedly, ‘I mean, I could never like Malfoy. Like you said, he’s always just antagonised me, I wouldn’t be able to move past that.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The distastefulness of his words alerted Harry that he was lying, slowly but surely, without exactly realising, he had already begun to move past Draco’s antagonisation. Now, after testing the waters, Harry knew he would have to keep everything to himself, he couldn’t tell his friends about the astronomy tower, the bloodstain or the mistletoe. It was too risky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It’s getting dark,’ Ginny gestured towards the intermingling of colours laced onto the sky. ‘We should go back inside.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they both rose and dusted their clothes free of the remnants of dirt and grass, Harry looked towards Ginny feebly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Could you…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Not tell anyone about the letters?’ Ginny finished for him and he nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled reassuringly, placing her hand lightly onto Harry’s arm, ‘I won’t, don’t worry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry breathed out shakingly as she began to stride towards the house, he turned his eyes back towards the lucid colours, absorbing their beauty. Only for a few moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After realising that he couldn’t continue not apologising to Ron, Harry had tried to talk to him, offering another flimsy excuse for his anger. But Ron wasn’t easily convinced, he had forgiven Harry, yet a shared look between him and Hermione made Harry feel as if an intervention would ensue soon. However, the new year approached, and no such intervention occurred, everything had seemed to return to normal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the holidays came to an end and they prepared to return to Hogwarts, Harry realised just how much he yearned to be within the castle’s walls again. Mrs Weasley had sent them off, looking slightly worried but she handed the boys a tin of biscuits to eat whenever they became peckish and put on a brave face. They had, unfortunately, eaten them all on the train ride home, both boys filled to the brim with no room for the lavish dinner in the great hall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had looked at the Slytherin table almost immediately, yet the boy he was searching for was absent. He had assumed that he’d be able to see Draco at other mealtimes, but as the days of the week passed, his seat was always unoccupied when Harry took his. Choosing not to linger on it, Harry spent his time dissecting his potion’s textbook, losing himself within the folds of the pages, desperate to note down every spell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘God Harry, you might as well marry the book already.’ Hermione said bitterly as they walked towards the potion’s class for their Friday lesson.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry, who had been reading something significant, turned his head towards her. ‘Have you heard of this spell?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tilted the book so Hermione could see, but her eyes were too focused on Harry, jaw ticking, to notice the spell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘They’re unregistered spells Harry. No one’s heard of them and you should most definitely not be testing any of them, what if you accidentally hurt someone?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry’s eyes shifted towards Ron over Hermione’s shoulder, he looked away quickly, ensuring Harry knew that he was alone in this argument.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I told you I’m not testing them all,’ Harry defended himself, ‘and anyways, the prince wouldn’t be lightly noting spells if they were that dangerous.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Hermione could retort, Harry felt his body collide against some stiff surface, making him stumble a few steps backwards. He looked up to see Draco’s half turned face, the expression on it remained indifferent as he swept his eyes up and down Harry’s frame and said, ‘watch it Potter.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling the heat of Ron and Hermione’s gazes on him, Harry glared venomously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, you watch it Malfoy.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swore he saw Draco’s mouth twitch upwards in amusement before he walked into the potion’s classroom. His stomach turned slightly as the trio said nothing more and followed Draco into where Slughorn was already dictating today’s lesson. Their cauldrons were ready to be used, situated in front of them and as Slughorn handed them each a vial of poison in order to find some elusive antidote, Harry felt the panic arise into his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was something the prince couldn’t assist him in finding, following instructions was simple but using his own intelligence to formulate a solution? Not so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘At least this is your chance to not rely on the Prince’s help anymore.’ Hermione said curtly with one glance at Harry’s pale face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Let him live ‘Mione.’ Ron mumbled, slightly disheartened that Harry wouldn’t be sharing any useful tips today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sighed and started with the basic motion of tipping the vial into his cauldron, the intense pink colour of it made him shiver with remembrance of Umbridge. But this was the least of Harry’s worries, he had no clear indication as to where he should start. His reputation as Slughorn’s favourite potions student would falter if he didn’t think of anything. After all, Slughorn had passed by their table only a few moments prior, eager to praise Harry but upon sniffing the malignant smell surrounding his cauldron, he hurried away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione, who was seemingly motivated to prove herself was casting spells on her cauldron, glancing at Harry ever so often. Close to giving up on account of both the smell and Hermione’s gloating, Harry turned to the textbook again, hoping the prince would assist him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the corner of the page of an antidote potion which was useless in this situation, Harry noticed a simple line scrawled ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Just shove a bezoar down their throat.</span>
  </em>
  <span>’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Five minutes left!’ Slughorn alerted them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn’t even hesitate to venture to the potions cupboard to obtain a bezoar, he knew briefly that it was a stone taken from a goat’s stomach and that was it. He wasn’t even sure if this was an appropriate answer for the task, but it was the only one he had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several minutes later when Slughorn approached him, looking disappointed, all it took was Harry’s outstretched palm with the bezoar resting on it to make him brighten up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Merlin’s beard Harry! This cheek to give me such an answer but indeed, you are right. A bezoar would most definitely do the trick!’ Slughorn guffawed, causing everyone to look towards them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To everyone else’s dismay, Slughorn continued praising Harry’s charm and knowledge that he had seemingly inherited from his mother. His words ensured that not only was Hermione’s face ridden with bitterness, but Draco was also displaying a mixture of interest and irritation. It was only once he moved on to the other students that Ron looked at Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You could’ve told me,’ he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sorry mate,’ Harry replied, failing to smother his own smile. ‘It’d be suspicious if we both did it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whilst Ron was quick to overcome his irritation, Hermione seemed to be muttering under her breath. But Harry was too busily celebrating his success to take offense. It was only when Slughorn instructed them to leave their essays on his desk that Harry’s face fell, he felt at his pockets hurriedly to conclude that he had mistakenly left his essay on his nightstand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Uh sir,’ Harry said, raising his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I…I’ve seemed to have left my essay on my nightstand.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn’s smile faltered slightly, ‘well, I’m not very fond of detentions, but I can’t let you off free Harry, even after your trick today...how about assisting me in brewing some potions for the first years tonight?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded his head vigorously, ‘yes of course sir. I can do that.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was suddenly glad that he had left his homework, having one on one time with Slughorn would definitely help him in gaining Slughorn’s trust. Things were seemingly going well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘If that was me,’ Ron said whilst Slughorn moved towards the Slytherin’s. ‘He’d just give me detention for sure.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry let out a laugh as he picked up his textbook, ready to leave the class.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ah Mr Malfoy, I’m afraid you’ll have to join me and Mr Potter in brewing potions tonight. I don’t accept any excuses when it comes to essays, especially when you’ve had enough time to do them.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the sound of Slughorn’s words, Harry whipped his body around to see Draco’s eyes flickering towards him. Draco nodded in response; jaw clenched in slight anger. Harry swallowed the acidity in his mouth, already dreading the night’s events. Being alone with Slughorn would have been an easy task, but with Draco in the mix, things would become unpredictable. Turning away, Harry could only grip tightly on his book to appease the nerves.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you so much for reading &lt;3 next chapter = drarry in detention.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Your Lips</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Being hopeful that Draco wouldn’t attend their joint potions detention, Harry walked into the humid classroom where Slughorn was already hovering around numerous cauldrons. His patchy hair was sticking up in every direction and the wrinkles on his forehead were emphasised by the frown on his face. As his eyes swept towards a lingering Harry in the doorway, his eyes were bright with elation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ah Harry! You’re right on time, there’s been a slight change of plans unfortunately. Madam Pomfrey wants us to make her a fresh batch of calming draught.’ He exclaimed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s mind immediately filled with the image of Draco testing the calming draught in front of him only a few months prior.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m sure you’re familiar with brewing them?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded even though he wasn’t even close to being familiar with such a potion, but he assumed that the prince would again assist him. As he took out his textbook and a few minutes passed, Harry felt the relief of Draco’s absence wash upon him. His relief, however, was short lived as Draco – fifteen minutes late – strode through the door clad in emerald green trousers and a frown directed towards Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sorry I’m late sir,’ Draco said politely, announcing his presence to Slughorn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn didn’t look too fond of Draco, offering him a forced smile and keeping their conversation curt. He only dictated a few instructions with a wave of his hand before returning to the potion he was brewing. Draco walked towards where Harry was stationed, eyes sweeping across their work bench in curiosity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You look like you don’t know in the slightest of what you’re supposed to be doing.’ Draco drawled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry scowled in response, ‘I do actually. I’m just…prepping.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Prepping,’ Draco repeated. ‘Come on Potter, this isn’t even a difficult potion to brew. It’s standard stuff.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Well sorry I didn’t exactly find a need to be brewing cauldrons full of calming draughts before.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Better make sure to take some for Weasley for when he’s blubbering again like a first year in Snape’s class.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A snort of laughter escaped Harry’s lips at this and before he could stop himself, he was grinning at Draco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Right!’ Slughorn said abruptly, causing both boys to turn towards him. ‘This batch is done so I’ll head over to the infirmary to give it to Poppy whilst you boys start on the second. I’ll be back in a jiff. Harry?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes sir?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re in charge.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn was out of the door before either of them could object and what remained was an awkward silence settling in between both boys. It was evident that Slughorn was biased towards Harry, putting him on a pedestal above Draco despite his naturally exceptional potions skills.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I lied. I really don’t know what I’m doing.’ Harry muttered, slicing the silence in half.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco rolled his eyes, ‘just go fetch the ingredients, I’ll get us started.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In contrast to his usual stubbornness, Harry obediently followed Draco’s instruction and ventured towards the dark potion’s cupboard at the back of the classroom. With his advanced potions book laying open on his left palm, Harry located the ingredients swiftly, his arms filled with them as he approached a focused Draco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Harry had placed the ingredients onto the table, Draco had immediately grasped for one of the jars, seemingly absorbed in brewing the potion. Harry felt almost useless standing there, awaiting instructions, but Draco was too used to working alone that he hadn’t taken notice. The only thing Harry could do was admire the slight creases of concentration in Draco’s face, the purple shadows under his eyes previously had become fainter now, indicating that he had slept well the night before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The placidity of his hair made Harry want to reach out in childish wonder, he silently wondered if Draco was a Veela, his handsome qualities made it more than likely. It was when Harry’s eyes fell towards Draco’s textbook that his eyes widened. The brown pages were covered in black handwriting similar to the prince’s hovering around the original text. If his textbook wasn’t safely clasped in his hand right now, Harry would have assumed that Draco was using the prince’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was, however, more than apparent that the handwriting was of course Draco’s own corrections, but Harry could see the stark similarity between him and the prince. Both of their handwritings’ were dominated by a cursive scrawl and the bold corrections were a motif that even Hermione didn’t dare to do. It was common knowledge that Draco was overly skilled at potion making, he had always beaten Hermione’s grades effortlessly in potions class before Harry had taken over with his forged abilities. A sense of shame settled onto Harry as he realised how passionate Draco was in this area of knowledge and here he was, an imposter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Do you plan on staring at my face for the rest of the night or what?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s cheeks flushed as he averted his eyes. ‘I wasn’t staring. Can I help?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He changed the subject immediately, suddenly feeling the heat creep up his spine. Draco didn’t even look up from what he was doing and nodded his head briefly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You forgot to get me an eye of newt.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh, I’ll go uh…get it,’ Harry stumbled out before rushing back towards the cupboard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he was in the safety of a separated room, Harry covered his face in embarrassment. He had never been skilled at being inconspicuous and now he was suffering for it. Draco was a lot of things, suspicious, crude and potentially a threat. Yet, Harry couldn’t help but find him attractive, there was something about Draco that was drawing him in, a one-sided magnetic pull.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing there, fanning his face with his hands, Harry had forgotten about the eye of newt Draco had requested and it wasn’t till he heard nearing footsteps that he realised what his task had been.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Are you making the eye of newt or something?’ Draco inquired, his dishevelled appearance showing how consumed he had been in his potion brewing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s panic filled eyes only stared at him. ‘I can’t reach,’ he said, pointing towards the jar perched on a shelf slightly too high for him to reach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco let out a scoff, moving to where Harry was standing and raised his arm to reach the jar effortlessly. Harry didn’t miss how Draco had ensured his sleeve was gripped tightly with his left hand or the way his arm brushed against Harry’s chest. As Draco turned around – jar in hand – there was only a few millimetres separating their bodies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had expected Draco to move back almost instantly, but surprisingly, he didn’t. They stood there for a few moments, both of their bodies almost touching, and Harry focused his eyes on Draco’s chin, afraid of meeting his eyes. His heart rate was accelerating with every fanning of Draco’s breath on his face, it was sweet smelling to Harry, the sweetest thing he had ever smelt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Potter.’ Draco said, his voice raspier now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry raised his eyes slowly, he saw the torment swirling in Draco’s eyes. They kept flickering towards Harry’s parted lips, but there was a hesitancy there. Harry realised Draco’s utterance of his name had been him asking for a fleeting sense permission. He was terrified, like Harry was, that he had misread the situation. That if he made a move, things would go so detrimentally wrong that either of them would have to obliviate the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Harry was too consumed by Draco now, he couldn’t let such a moment pass again and so, he leaned closer, ignoring the startled look Draco gave him and pressed his lips to his. Draco was quick to respond, bringing his left hand up to cradle Harry’s face gently, his touch was icy against Harry’s flushed skin. If it wasn’t for Harry’s closed eyes, he would’ve seen the black pattern that stained the skin of the boy he was currently kissing so fiercely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s eyes, however, remained closed as he breathed in Draco, finally tasting the sweetness he had craved. Their kiss was filled with a morbid desperation, both boys acting as if they hadn’t breathed in a very long time and that the moment they pulled away would result in suffocation. Draco’s tongue swept against Harry’s teeth before their lips detached, Harry felt the chilliness sweep over him mercilessly. He didn’t regret it in the first few moments, openly gazing at Draco with fondness. But the guiltiness on Draco’s face brought him crashing back down to the dingy and claustrophobic potions cupboard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The regret fell onto him like a boulder and he backed away as if Draco’s fingertips had scalded him. Draco swallowed uneasily, trying to level his panting breaths as he gripped his sleeves in his pale hands. Either of them said a word, there being no words to be said. There had been something between them, a feeling that had undoubtedly melted their skin till they were merged together as one. But Harry knew they were anything but one, they were two, completely distinct entities. We should be repelling each other, Harry thought, we’re not supposed to sharing ourselves like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘The potion.’ Draco muttered abruptly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry blinked in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I should go check on the potion.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The aching in his tone made Harry want to turn over and spill the food he had consumed a few hours prior. There were a million things fighting within him, little insects crawling around where his rationality should’ve been. Kissing Draco was the most euphoric thing he had ever felt, the sensation had spread around him with a warmth that would be enough to produce the strongest Patronus known to man. And even though Harry was close to take a few simple steps to where Draco was, so close, in the classroom and re-initiating their kiss, he had to use all his strength to pacify his desire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But God, Harry thought, Draco tasted like everything he had never had. His touch had surged something within him; it wasn’t till now that Harry realised he hadn’t been alive, Draco had galvanised him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry!’ Slughorn’s voice made Harry snap out his daze and finally garner the courage to leave the cupboard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He held his breath as he emerged, fearful of meeting Draco’s gaze again, but he was nowhere to be seen. Slughorn was the only person left in the room, perched in front of Draco’s cauldron from which clear smoke was arising. The relief purged Harry of the heat he was feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I see you and Mr Malfoy managed to brew the draught.’ Slughorn said, smiling, ‘I must say it’s rather perfect, probably your touch.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shook his head lightly, ‘I didn’t do anything, it was all Draco sir.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn’s eyes widened at his correction and his impressed look dulled down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I see. Well, regardless, you can call it a night and head back to your dormitory.’ Slughorn said, turning away from Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a mindless nod, Harry followed Slughorn’s instructions and headed towards his dorms. The wind passing through the leering stone hallways made the goosebumps arise on his skin, cleansing him of Draco’s touch. Harry wasn’t so sure if he wanted to be cleansed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco was burning all over again. His skin was swarming with indescribable shame as he stepped into the shower and ensured the water was so cold that the sensation of it being almost warm spread over his body. His intention was purely to wash away every stain of Harry on him, every single remnant of his residue that remained on Draco’s existence. This was impossible. His smell was embedded within Draco’s nostrils, lingering forevermore and the green of his eyes was everywhere Draco looked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His efforts were in vain after all, as he exited the bath a shivering mess, Draco casted a warming spell. Only because he couldn’t afford to get sick now, there were things that had to be dealt with before he could afford vulnerability. That’s what Harry was to him, a vulnerability. The biggest one yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a myriad of reasons why their kiss shouldn’t have taken place. The main one being their immediate identities; Draco was himself, he was a death eater, animosity for Harry had been fed to him at every meal since he was seven. Anyone else would make more sense than Harry himself, but Draco didn’t want anyone else. He sighed shakily, wishing that he could be transported to a parallel universe where there were no restrictions or boundaries. </span>
  <em>
    <span>We shouldn’t have to feel like this</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Draco thought, </span>
  <em>
    <span>we shouldn’t have to clean ourselves like this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>In the mirror, Draco focused on his lips, for they were the root cause of the entire problem. He rubbed at them, slightly at first. But without hesitation, his force increased, and Draco was running his nails endlessly against the soft skin with the intent to alter them. Draco only stopped once they were stinging and chafed with the roughness of his fingers. Even though he was trying frantically to dispel the kiss from his mind, it was resurfacing every few moments.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had spent sleepless nights wondering what Harry would taste like and his predictions had been completely wrong. He had expected treacle tart, for that was all he saw Harry consume, but instead Draco had tasted a robust mint. It had banished the bitterness of hesitation Draco had tasted; Harry’s tongue had been enough to overpower it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dorm was still empty as Draco exited the bathroom. Everyone was downstairs in the common room, revelling in the company of others, yet Draco was being smothered by his impossible desires. As he fell onto his bed, the fragility in his legs making it hard to stand any longer, Draco picked up the locket Blaise had gifted him. Opening it, Draco began to whisper tonight’s events, brief words turned into detailed phrases as he whispered everything that had made him alive again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later that night, when he awoke from another nightmare, Draco could feel the warmth of the locket settled on his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Harry’s head had emerged from the pensieve, the confusion was slipping from his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I don’t understand sir.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumbledore smiled knowingly. Tonight, he had shown Harry a memory of younger professor Slughorn and a significantly youthful Tom Riddle who still held his usual declaration of evil within his disposition. Slughorn had yelled defensively at him after he had inquired about the concept of Horcruxes, something Harry had never remotely heard of in his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘That’s because this memory has unfortunately been tampered with,’ Dumbledore explained. ‘Professor Slughorn is not very fond of this particular memory, for rather apparent reasons and as you’ve probably gathered Harry, it is a memory vital to our cause.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry tilted his head, still confused. ‘Is this why you asked for me to become closer to Professor Slughorn sir?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumbledore briefly nodded, his hand drumming on the desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I want you to convince him to give you his memory. The real memory from this night.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But sir,’ Harry mumbled, ‘wouldn’t other means prove more straightforward?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, none of the usual methods would be particularly straightforward with Horace. You see Harry, he is a very meticulous wizard, one skilled in occlumency, the means I exercised on Morfin Gaunt will certainly not work here. It is your job to extract the memory from him. Believe me Harry, you are the only one fit to do such a task as this.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumbledore’s words scattered in the air around them as Harry became quiet. He had figured Dumbledore had an end goal situated in mind for him, Harry hadn’t thought Slughorn would be involved. Sure, Slughorn was fond of him and always prioritising him above the other students but convincing him to give up such a memory wouldn’t be simple in the slightest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Exiting Dumbledore’s office that night, Harry was deep in thought. He was weighing out the different approaches he could take to such a task, asking Slughorn forthright would be foolish, this was obvious, but it was possibly the only method he could think of. Harry wasn’t skilled at deceit; this was something within Draco’s forte.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry almost thought he was hallucinating as he looked up to see Draco’s retreating back towards the bottom of the corridor. He stopped in place, his invisibility cloak seeming heavy as the door Draco had emerged from a few moments’ prior was now concealing itself into stone. The cards fell into place as Harry realised which floor of the castle, he was standing on right now. It was the seventh floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With Draco disappearing from view, Harry hurried towards where the door had been. It all made sense now, the reasons as to why Draco had disappeared from the map. He had been in the room of requirement this entire time and Harry hadn’t even considered this possibility.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Become what you are for Draco Malfoy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Harry thought as he paced in front of the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several minutes passed, Harry continued his pacing. He chanted the words in his mind with clear conviction, only opening his eyes to check if the door had materialised. Yet, his efforts were futile. The room was unyielding in trickling Draco’s secrets into Harry’s open hands.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for all the lovely comments, i really appreciate them!&lt;333</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Worth It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Within the depths of the room of requirement, surrounded by piles of wizened chairs and stray goblets ridden with dust, Draco again stood in front of the vanishing cabinet. In his shaking hands, Draco held a petite bird he had found fluttering around in the astronomy tower earlier. Its tweets filled the uneasy ambience of the room, it struggled slightly against Draco’s hold, but made no move to harm him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco frowned as he admired the bird, it was the size of his palm and pale-yellow colour that reminded him of the peonies his mother planted in their garden. He couldn’t help the envy that bubbled through him as he focused on the bird’s wings. It could fly to anywhere it desired of its own accord, free of any restraints keeping it to one place. Draco wished he had this ability. He wished he could also fly far away, somewhere nobody recognised the significance of his placid hair and surname.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knowing that he couldn’t keep the others waiting any longer, Draco slowly opened the cabinet door and carefully placed the bird onto the dark surface. It hopped around for a few moments, tweeting happily after being held for so long. As he closed the door, Draco raised his wand and muttered the spell he had repeatedly practised in preparation for this moment. He waited a few minutes, allowing enough time for the bird to travel through the folds of travel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The anticipation was riveting as Draco held his breath. His last two plans had been futile. They were plagued with laziness and Draco had predicted that they would both fail as they had. The necklace had never reached its final destination, instead disrupting the life of an innocent party and the poisoned mead had failed to serve its purpose. Draco assumed that it was most likely collecting dust in Slughorn’s office, saved for a later occasion of celebration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand lingered over the handle before he opened it. With a sharp intake of breath, Draco focused on the bird that had been lively chirping only ten minutes prior laying motionless. Its dead body was slumped against the consuming darkness of the cabinet surface. It looked at peace, its small eyes closed, making it look almost asleep. Draco the dead bird as a sign that the cabinet had indeed worked, he figured it was his own aunt who had killed the innocent creature.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unable to leave the poor bird, Draco carefully spooned its limp body into his hands. The sadness settled onto his chest as he realised it was his fault the bird was now dead; he had sent the bird flying towards a cruel fate. The metallic taste on his tongue made him ashamed tenfold and he quickly placed the bird into a box that lay carelessly on a shelf. He would have to dispose of its corpse somewhere and the urge to complete this task without magic overwhelmed Draco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he exited the room of requirement wedged in between a state of guilt and dread, Draco recognised Theo’s tall figure slouched lazily on one of the broad windowsills of the seventh floor. The dismalness on Theo’s sullen face and the crumpled letter in his hand made Draco’s footsteps falter as he neared him, Draco’s own hold on the box tightened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’re you doing here?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The distress scattered across Theo’s expression only increased at the sound of Draco’s hoarse voice, his eyes slowly trailed to meet his friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You don’t realise, do you?’ Theo muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice seemed altered; Draco almost felt as if this wasn’t Theo at all. His usual carefree tone was overtaken with powerlessness and surrender. Theo wasn’t one to ever give up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Realise what?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What your choice meant for all of us?’ Theo said bitterly, standing up so he and Draco were face to face. ‘You didn’t stop and take a second to think about how you would be the steppingstone for our parents to pressure us into joining too.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco swallowed before replying, ‘I didn’t ask to be used as an exemplar- ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You didn’t ask for it yeah but that doesn’t change the fact that you are used as an example by all of our fucking parents. My father, you know the one who’s never sent me an owl before, wrote to me to tell me and I quote, </span>
  <em>
    <span>to be more like Draco and bring him some glory to the Nott family name</span>
  </em>
  <span>.’  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence on Draco’s part made Theo stare at him with intense hatred as if it was the Dark Lord standing directly in front of him at that moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You think I wanted to do this?’ Draco asked in a small voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I think you’re fucking selfish.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Selfish.’ Draco repeated, his eyes casting downwards to the dusty concrete.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A bitter laugh spilled from Draco’s mouth, filled with incredulity at how Theo of all people couldn’t understand him. ‘Trust me Theo, if I was selfish, I wouldn’t be doing any of this.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo lunged forward, grasping the material of Draco’s black shirt in his hands. The box in Draco’s hands formed a makeshift barricade between both of them. Theo’s jaw was clenched tightly with anger, engorging the veins in his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Don’t fucking laugh Draco. I know you, you’ve been waiting for this moment your entire life, always patiently following your father around like a well-trained pup in hopes he’d promote you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco grimaced, but his tongue was heavy in his mouth and made speaking impossible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘And to your luck, it was you know who who promoted you himself.’ Theo continued, ‘I know you crave the glory Draco, I told you not to go ahead with all of this bullshit and yet, here you are. Barely a person and no one by your side.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The glassiness of Draco’s eyes at his words made the enormity of Theo’s resentment falter. He had expected Draco to fight valiantly to defend the cause he had chosen, yet the distinctiveness of regret in his shaking grey eyes was anything but valiant. Theo’s grip loosened; his hands still rested against Draco’s shaking chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Are you- ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No.’ Draco pulled away and moved his face to the side, rubbing his free hand furiously at his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Drac.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo’s tone was suddenly softer, his change of mood was so abrupt that Draco couldn’t tell if he was still mad or not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Do you think I could’ve said no?’ Draco muttered after a few moments. ‘Do you think he would’ve just let me walk away without shooting a killing curse?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I…’ Theo trailed off, unable to answer Draco’s question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes, I know I made a choice Theo, but it was the only choice I had. You think I just thought about myself? I didn’t. I thought of my father, my mother and you – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Me?’ Theo croaked out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco turned to face Theo, the rim of his eyelids red and raw with the force of his previous action. He nodded his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I wondered what would happen if I said no. I contemplated it, contemplated running away from all of this mess, but if I did, he’d kill my mother first and I know how he works, he would make it so torturously long and he’d make her own sister do it.’ Draco let out a scoff, ‘my father? He’d be a piece of cake, throwing him under the bus for other people’s actions would give the dementors more of a reason to give him the kiss.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With eyes focused solely on Draco’s face, Theo knew exactly where Draco was going with his words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘And then I thought about what would happen next. If I wasn’t the one to do the task, I thought about who he’d pass it onto, who he’d pass on the potential glory to. Most likely it’d be someone who volunteered their child earnestly just to win the Dark Lord’s favour. We both know your father would have done it in a heartbeat Theo. I didn’t want you to go through that. I don’t want you to go through this.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Putting his hand to his mouth, Theo let out a shaky breath, Draco’s words formulated themselves all around him. The green tinge to his skin made Draco afraid he would hurl at any moment now, but he didn’t. Theo’s frame remained completely still for what felt like hours, time passed in the silence of the corridor and Draco’s ragged breaths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m sorry, god I’m so - ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco cut him off, ‘it’s fine Theo.’ He said despite the fact that nothing was in fact, fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacing outside of Slughorn’s office, Harry was unsure of how to phrase his question. It had only been a day since his meeting with Dumbledore and Hermione was pushing Harry to try to obtain the memory from Slughorn. Harry had been intent on procrastinating the task till he had a concrete plan to follow, yet his best friends had thought otherwise. They had insisted that starting from the basics and simply talking to Slughorn would perhaps elude the response Harry wanted, after all, he was Slughorn’s favourite student. He couldn’t say no to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry repeated this in his head as he prepared himself for the awkward conversation that would ensue shortly and rapped on Slughorn’s office door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Come in!’ Slughorn called from inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a few hesitant breaths, Harry pushed the door and walked into the humid room. Slughorn was again bent over a cauldron perched on his desk filled with a colourless potion he was busily prepping, possibly for another first year lesson. Harry stopped in place, waiting for Slughorn to realise he was there, but the engrossed professor stayed focused on his brewing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Evening sir.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn immediately whipped his head towards Harry at this, ‘ah Harry! To what do I owe the pleasure?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry took a few tentative steps closer, hoping his internalised nerves weren’t showing on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I just thought I’d pop in and see if you needed any help.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘On a Monday evening? If I knew any better, I’d think you’re trying to butter me up.’ Slughorn joked, giving the cauldron one last stir.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ah well,’ Harry let out a forced laugh. ‘I actually had a question to ask sir.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crossing his arms, Slughorn turned towards him with an eager smile, ‘yes of course, do ask away my boy.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Well you see sir,’ Harry began, feigning the same confidence that Tom Riddle had exuded. ‘I wondered if you knew anything about horcruxes?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn’s smile immediately dropped, the wrinkles in his forehead bunching in the centre as he realised exactly what Harry was doing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Stop right there.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But sir- ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I know exactly what’s going on here Harry, Dumbledore put you up to this?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Harry failed to respond, Slughorn raised his voice for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Didn’t he?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry winced at the fury in Slughorn’s voice, he hadn’t realised just how defensive the professor would act over the memory. And now, he could truly see how important the misconstrued memory Dumbledore had shown him was. The mention of it was enough to make the colour in Slughorn’s previously flushed cheeks dissipate instantaneously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes,’ Harry said slowly, ‘I’d like to talk about it if – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No.’ Slughorn said, his voice slightly stabler, ‘I have a potion to continue brewing. I’m sure you can see yourself out.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned back to his cauldron in one, swift movement and mindlessly stirred the contents even though it already seemed complete. Harry shifted on his feet, not exiting immediately, he opened his mouth to say something to extend the conversation further, but even he could see it was a lost cause. Slughorn wouldn’t be surrendering his memory tonight, any effort to get him to would be in vain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry exited the office, the door swung shut behind him and the clicking of locks ensured he couldn’t re-enter anytime soon. Defeat rested on his sullen shoulders as he walked back to the common room, hoping Ron and Hermione were where he had left them. The need to vent was swelling upon Harry, but as he entered the oddly empty room, his best friends were nowhere to be seen. Harry instantly knew what they were getting up to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fire had dulled down to glowing wood and grey ash and Harry sacrificed his usual seat for the comfort of his bed. He was walking towards his dorm, shoulders sagging and expression dull when he noticed Cormac nearing him. To Harry’s surprise, Cormac didn’t even acknowledge Harry’s presence, his shoulder only brushing against Harry’s as he passed by.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Cormac!’ Harry called, stopping midway in the corridor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cormac turned around, giving him a weary look. ‘Yes Potter?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Why do you think I’m gay?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The question had rolled off of Harry’s tongue before he could control it. It was formed out of reluctant curiosity, Harry’s recent kiss with Draco being the driving force.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It’s pretty obvious Potter,’ Cormac said, his renowned smirk again gracing his face. ‘No straight guy who gets an enormous amount of female attention looks pained every time he’s approached by a girl.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry scoffed, ‘I don’t look pained.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You do. I think all of Gryffindor can vouch to it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Maybe I just don’t wanna get into a relationship right now.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Cormac’s turn to scoff now, ‘great excuse, ten out of ten for effort.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It’s true!’ Harry protested, stalking closer towards where Cormac stood, looking smug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Just because you don’t want a relationship, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re gay.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Are you?’ Harry asked hesitantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cormac looked taken aback by the question before he slowly nodded. ‘Isn’t it obvious I’ve been trying to get your attention?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With his mouth parted, Harry gaped at Cormac as if he’d suddenly transfigured himself into a grindylow. His mind flickered towards Draco for a few moments, his lips tingled slightly under Cormac’s gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I guess I’m just oblivious then.’ Harry finally said, noticing how Cormac’s eyes trailed towards his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Are you going to give me it?’ Cormac asked, moving closer to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swallowed, ‘give you what?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Your attention.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pushing his hand to Cormac’s chest, Harry stopped the boy from leaning any closer. The discomfort of having someone else’s breath on his face dwelled on his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I like someone else.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Harry had mainly said the words to stop Cormac from kissing him, he couldn’t help but compare the boy in front of him to Draco. There was a significant difference between them, and Harry knew which boy he preferred.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry dropped his hand from where it had been, Cormac shuffled backwards on his feet, creating a considerable amount of distance between their figures. He didn’t look too disappointed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Who is it?’ Cormac asked after several moments, ‘another Gryffindor?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I can’t say.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘That bad?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shook his head instantaneously, ‘it’s not bad.’ He defended.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cormac smiled at this, a laugh letting loose from his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Whoever it is, I see you’re keen on defending what you have.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sigh escaped Harry’s lips as he realised Cormac was right. Harry had been quick to defend whatever he and Draco had even though he wasn’t even sure if anything was even there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It’s complicated.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ah,’ Cormac breathed out, ‘but is it worth it?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry failed to conjure a response to this.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>things are getting complicated :0</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Let's Not Think</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>‘I mean, we all expected asking Slughorn outright for the memory wasn’t the brightest idea.’ Ron mused as he leaned up on his elbows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a seemingly humid spring day and the trio were sat next to the black lake; their open textbooks perched in front of them were being neglected as they talked. There were only a few hours till Ron and Hermione would both leave for their apparition tests and Harry was in a clearly dismal state. Not only had he failed to conjure up a plan b to ensnare Slughorn in surrendering his memory, but he was also too young to take the apparition test today. He would have to wait till July, months after his friends, to take it and even then, he wasn’t sure if he’d pass on the first try.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It was worth a try,’ Harry mumbled, mindlessly turning the page of the Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Don’t look so down Harry, it’s okay.’ Hermione reassured him, ‘besides, I’m sure between the three of us, we’ll eventually think of something.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sighed, ‘that’s if Slughorn ever talks to me again.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron scoffed and sat up, his eyes trailing towards something in the distance. Following the direction of his gaze, Harry realised it was Draco he was focused upon. He sat alone under an oak tree surrounded by limp, auburn leaves and patches of coarse dirt. An open book lay upon his knees and his grey eyes swept across the pages, back and forth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something coiled in Harry’s stomach as Draco looked ethereal to his eyes, the sunlight did wonders in enlightening his blonde hair and smooth, placid skin. Seeing him alone made Harry slightly ache, he wondered where Draco’s friends were, he hadn’t seen them interact in a long while. Even his usual minions, Crabbe and Goyle, were nowhere to be seenWith the realisation that he had been openly gaping at Draco, admiring his handsomeness within the vicinity of his friends, he averted his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘If only we had some of that liquid luck Malfoy has.’ Ron muttered bitterly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I do wonder what he’s going to use it for,’ Hermione mused. ‘Slughorn was wrong in his judgement to give it to someone as unreliable as Draco Malfoy.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A surge of irritation fell over Harry at Hermione’s hypocrisy. Only a few weeks prior she had antagonised him for being suspicious of Draco and now here she was, doing the same. Yet, it wasn’t just this that bothered Harry. An overwhelming need to defend Draco and his rightful possession of the potion made Harry squirm slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Can we not talk about Malfoy? I’d rather not lose my appetite for lunch.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron let out a laugh, ‘not like you eat much anyways mate.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ron! You can’t just say that!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry rolled his eyes, failing to take offence from Ron’s comment. He preferred Ron’s unfiltered opinions to Hermione’s insistence that everything was going well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It’s fine Hermione,’ Harry reassured. ‘I’d eat more but Ron doesn’t leave anything behind.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A snorted laugh escaping from Hermione’s mouth made Ron gape in indignation at both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Are you calling me fat?’ Ron exclaimed, visibly offended.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No!’ Harry said, struggling to stifle his laughter. It had been a while since he had laughed so easily over something trivial.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I think what Harry means to say is that…you’re a big eater?’  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The unconvincing, slight smirk on Hermione’s lips didn’t quell Ron’s protests and he began to list everything he had eaten so far to disprove her statement. Harry watched both of them squabble in amusement, his eyes shifted towards where Draco had been sitting of their own accord. Upon seeing the space now empty, Harry frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With another quidditch match fast approaching them, Harry had called for another last-minute practice to the Gryffindor teams dismay. Ron, who was already disheartened from failing his apparition test, was again playing clumsily, failing to block most of the bludgers being thrown his way. Suddenly Harry wished he had taken Draco’s advice and bottled a vial of the calming draught they had been brewing, god knew that Ron would definitely need it for their game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only after practice had ended – everyone insisting that they could not stand another moment propped in the air on their brooms – that Harry, who was storing away the equipment, realised why Dean hadn’t attended practice. Ginny sat on the highest bench of the stands, head downcast in defeat and disposition filled with tenseness. Shifting on his feet, Harry strapped the bludger into the case before he climbed up the stands to reach her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ginny, is something wrong?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clearly disorientated, Ginny looked up at him, her puffy eyes were noticeable in the gleam of moonlight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m fine.’ She mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re not,’ Harry protested as he slowly occupied the space next to her. ‘Did something happen between you and Dean?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ginny let out a bitter laugh, her body heaving upwards with the emotion, ‘is it that obvious?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘He didn’t show up to practice, so I just figured…’ Harry trailed off in unease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘We broke up.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Ginny slumped forward and buried her face in her palms, Harry was unaware of how to comfort her exactly. He didn’t know what to say to someone in a position like hers, after all Harry had never dated anyone before. He and Cho had had something last year, but it was never classified as a relationship and once it had ended, Harry had found himself relieved rather than upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It’s okay if you don’t know what to say Harry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, I do.’ Harry protested, ‘If Dean let you walk away then I think he’s a right git, you’re amazing Gin.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I broke up with him, not the other way around.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She removed her hands and looked at the clear puzzlement settling in on Harry’s face and added, ‘we were just fighting too much and god, I love him but if it really was meant to be, it shouldn’t be that hard right?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost instantaneously, Harry shook his head with indignation clearly taking over his features.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘If you really loved him, wouldn’t you be willing to bear through it even if it was hard?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But…it’s tiring.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Everything’s hard and tiring Ginny,’ Harry said fiercely, straightening up suddenly. ‘But that’s the thing, I’ve never been in love but even I know that truly liking someone means you’re willing to handle all the negative aspects and work through them because really, the worst thing would be to lose them right?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Since when are you a relationship expert?’ Ginny asked, looking at Harry as if he had suddenly sprouted another head. ‘You were never this wise before.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sighed slightly, his eyes moving towards the astronomy tower that loomed over their microscopic figures in the distance. His mind was suddenly invaded with thoughts of Draco. Draco who had been brewing the calming draught with a consistent accuracy present in his hands, Draco who had stood on the ledge with the wind mercilessly disarraying his platinum hair and Draco who had held Harry’s face as if he was the most precious ornament to exist. The physical ache in Harry’s hearts at these memories filled him with yearning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m far from being an expert Gin,’ Harry started. ‘I’m just telling you what I think. I think love, more than anything, is worth fighting for, even if it’s hard.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ginny didn’t respond to his words but only rested her head onto his shoulder, her breathing levelling itself slowly. They both sat in that position for several minutes, the moon their only other companion. It was these few minutes of silence that were enough to tighten Harry’s impulsive resolve. He was determined to see Draco tonight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Ginny was safely out of sight and heading towards the Gryffindor common room, Harry practically ran the length between the Quidditch field and the Astronomy tower. He was still clad in his scarlet Quidditch sweater that stuck to his skin, eager to ascend the tower stairs. The strange looks Harry garnered from the portraits were long forgotten as he entered the tower. But upon seeing it empty, his spirits fell drastically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If only I had the marauder's map with me, Harry thought disappointingly, forcing his tired legs to walk closer to the edge. He gazed up at the moon, seeing it clearer than ever now at such a height. Harry had only meant to stay there a few minutes, but he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the view. He could see everything from the tower. The forest, the black lake and even the place where the first task arena for the Triwizard Tournament had once been.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Potter?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry almost gave himself whiplash as he turned his body to look at Draco who looked clearly taken aback by the sight of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’re you doing here?’ Draco added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m…stargazing.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Raising his eyebrow, Draco tilted his head, ‘stargazing? In your quidditch uniform?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry could only meekly nod in response. Taking a few steps closer, Draco stopped in front of Harry’s body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’d believe that excuse except, there are no stars to gaze at.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was close enough for Harry to see the grey in his eyes brighten with the glean of the moonlight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Depends on what you define as a star.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A melancholic expression overtook Draco’s face as grey and green eyes connected, there was a pathetic longing lingering between their bodies. It was almost tangible, almost unobtainable. Draco took a step closer and then another.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Tell me to stop.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Raising his hand, Draco slowly brought it to Harry’s face. Harry should’ve flinched, but he didn’t. Instead, he was silently waiting. He wasn’t brave enough to make the first move this time and surrendered it to Draco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I said tell me to stop.’ Draco repeated, his breath touching Harry’s lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn’t say anything, counting the seconds passing. He realised how Draco’s warm touch was sending heat travelling through his entire figure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Why aren’t you telling me to stop?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco’s voice cracked slightly; his face scrunched as if he was in physical pain. Yet, his hand remained in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Because I don’t want you to.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But.’ Draco persisted, ‘you should, you should want to.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time, Harry raised his own hand to Draco’s pale face and placed it against his cheek. Draco’s eyes moved from Harry’s face to his hand, shaken by the motion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘For now, just kiss me.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unable to hold himself back any longer, Draco closed the space between them and joined their lips together as one. He breathed in Harry’s aroma, relishing the entirety of the moment, afraid again of this being the last time. Their lips moved relentlessly against each other, desperation and longing mingling alongside their spit. Draco’s tongue was first to enter Harry’s mouth, making him gasp but tighten his other hand in the material of Draco’s shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They only pulled away for brief gasps of breaths and even though their hands fell from each other’s faces, their other hands remained on each other’s bodies. Both afraid that letting go would result in separation. It was a euphoric feeling for both boys, the intensity of their passion and lust was bringing their dull shells to life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only when Draco pushed Harry against the stone pillar of the tower that they broke away and their eyes met again. Draco didn’t realise he had been holding his breath until he realised there was no hint of regret on Harry’s face this time. He didn’t look completely disgusted by Draco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’s wrong?’ Harry asked, noticing the tense creases in Draco’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Do you regret it?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No,’ Harry’s answer was instant. ‘I don’t regret anything.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco’s palm stayed pressed flat against the wall behind Harry as silence lapsed between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Do you regret it?’ Harry asked hesitantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘God no, Potter.’ Draco shook his head vigorously, ‘I could never regret this, I’ve waited so long for this to happen.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Wait, what?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking like a deer caught in headlights, Draco realised just what he had said. Harry felt his heart skip a beat; the words Draco had just said insinuated that he had liked Harry for a much longer time than he expected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I…’ Draco trailed off, unaware of how to articulate things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘How long have you liked me?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Letting out a scoff, Draco rolled his eyes playfully, ‘that’s a pretty bold thing to ask.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Avoiding the question just makes you look guilty,’ Harry retorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m not guilty!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Tell me Draco, how long have you wanted to snog me?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Too long,’ Draco mumbled finally, his cheeks tinting pink as he pressed his face into Harry’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘This is pretty strange,’ Harry mused, ‘who knew that we, of all people, would end up eating each other’s faces.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco looked up at Harry, ‘correction, you were eating my face.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Maybe.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A moment passed and neither of them said anything. There was an uncertainty in the air now, here they were, kissing each other and acting playfully, but what was to come after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Where does this leave us?’ Draco asked quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry bit his lip, ‘I honestly don’t know.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah,’ Draco moved away suddenly, allowing the cold air to settle onto Harry. ‘It’s completely impossible and irrational.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘All I know is that there’s something pulling me towards you, something I’m finding really hard to ignore. I know it’s completely and utterly irrational, Godric’s sake I just don’t know what to do.’ Harry rushed out; eyes frantically moved from place to place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry,’ Draco breathed out, ‘calm down.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stilled, blinking his eyes as he focused on Draco. ‘You just said my name.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh, yeah.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Say it again.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco furrowed his brows in confusion at the excitement radiating from Harry’s body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Say my name again.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Uh…Harry?’ Draco said slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A laugh let loose from Harry’s lips, his green eyes brightening up at the sound of Draco saying his name. He had never particularly liked his name till this moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Say it again please.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re being weird Potter.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leaning forward, Harry brought his lips within millimetres of Draco’s. ‘If you say it, I’ll kiss you again.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco let out an annoyed scoff and crossed his arms across his broad chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Offering me kisses isn’t going to get me to do your bidding.’ He said confidently, showing the usual Malfoy narcissism Harry was used to seeing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without warning, Harry pressed his lips against Draco’s swollen ones. The abrupt motion made Draco’s eyes widen and as Harry pulled away, he stumbled backwards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What was that for?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘A taste,’ Harry said coyly. ‘Now come on, say my name.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Come on Draco!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Freezing in place, Draco looked towards Harry, finally seeing the appeal of his first name being said. His chest flushed with warmth with the fondness present in Harry’s eyes in that specific moment. It almost made him sad, making him face the harsh reality that he would probably never see it again. In only a few weeks, Harry would never say his name again. Instead, he would only remember this brief rendezvous as a stain on his life, Draco would be a stain on his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I need to go.’ Draco said abruptly, causing Harry’s giddiness to dissipate within seconds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What- ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Draco made an attempt to leave again, Harry held onto his hand, tightening his grip on it to station Draco in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Don’t leave again. Please.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was acting in desperation and selfishness, unwilling to let this moment with Draco end. It was his only relief in life, his calm before the storm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘This is going to end terribly.’ Draco whispered; his face still turned away from view.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Let’s not think about that.’ Harry said, ‘let’s just focus on now. Scrap that, lets just not think Draco, let’s not even think at all.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco rose his head, ‘we’re being stupid.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I know.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘We’re going to hurt each other.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry let out a shaky breath, his eyes falling to their joined hands that seemed to fit perfectly together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I know.’</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Things only get angsty from here!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Poisonous</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Colin Creevey approached Harry at breakfast with a note from Dumbledore, he was immediately filled with a sense of shame. The past few days had been filled with either getting through his extensive pile of homework or indulging in brief, stolen kisses with Draco in the astronomy tower. Harry was living in a state of euphoria, ignoring the harsh restraints that were beginning to bear down onto him. The fight against Voldemort insisted he obtain the memory from Slughorn, it was supposed to be Harry’s main priority but he was tired.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had been fighting too long now, he had been at it ever since that night in Godric’s Hollow when his parents were ruthlessly murdered. Draco was the only person who never seemed to ask anything of him. There were no overbearing lectures of what Harry ought to be doing or whether Harry was being too reckless. Instead, Draco quietly accepted these facts and continued to touch Harry with a gentleness that he himself didn’t know he possessed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now, Dumbledore was asking for Harry, most likely to discuss his progress with Slughorn or the lack of thereof. Harry read the note a few times in silence, swallowing the suddenly heavy bite of toast in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I have to go to Dumbledore's office,’ he told his curious best friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron frowned, ‘right now? The match starts in half an hour?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing up from his seat, Harry swung his legs over the bench and gave him a stern look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’ll be quick. Lead the team to the pitch, I’ll meet you guys there.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Hermione could open her mouth to say something, Harry was already striding through the bustle of the Great Hall and towards Dumbledore’s office. As he walked, Harry attempted to think of excuses to reassure Dumbledore, anything that would make him seem less guilty than he actually was. To his dismay, the walk to the gargoyles was not a lengthy one from the hall and as he followed the steps towards the office door, Harry found his mouth empty with potential words he could say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As per usual, Dumbledore was seated behind his mahogany desk scattered with strange looking artifacts Harry didn’t seem to recognise, he glanced up as Harry hesitantly took the seat in front of him. Behind the indifferent professor, perched proudly on his stand, Fawkes peered at Harry, it eyes seemingly judgemental and cool. Silence ensued as Dumbledore turned the page of the book he was currently peering at, his blackened and shrivelled hand looked more corpse-like now, a yellow tinge laying on the surface of his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You wanted to see me professor?’ Harry asked slowly, unable to meet Dumbledore’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if he had just realised that Harry was indeed within the same perimeter as him, Dumbledore closed the book he had been studying so intently and focused his gaze onto Harry. His half moon spectacles gleaned with the vivacity of the light above them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Forgive me Harry, I know you have a quidditch match to attend, but I just wanted to inquire on your progress with Professor Slughorn.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With Harry’s lack of response and sullen expression, Dumbledore was able to determine the answer to his question. A frown settled onto his aged face, causing his silvery white eyebrows to knit at the centre of his forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I see.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m trying, professor!’ Harry protested quickly, ‘I have a plan and I think it’ll work.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Harry was lying, he hoped Dumbledore would trust him enough to believe him. He would just have to devise a plan after the quidditch game and hope there was some luck on his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘This is a very vital piece of information for our cause Harry, I do hope you prioritise this task from now on.’ Dumbledore mused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With his head bowed, Harry nodded his head lightly and played with his fingers as if he was eleven again and being scolded by Aunt Petunia. The finality in Dumbledore’s voice made Harry know that he would have to complete the task in the next few days, he was sure there was at least something that could win Slughorn’s favour again. Hermione could possibly have an idea, Harry thought as he left the headmasters office and rushed towards the Quidditch field.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The team would probably be in frenzy at his lateness, their nerves already heightened with the tense atmosphere caused by Ginny and Dean’s bitter split. Harry was so immersed in his thoughts that he almost ran straight past Draco who was heading in the opposite direction. Coming to a standstill, Harry grinned with a flushed face at the startled blonde.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Aren’t you coming to the game?’ Harry asked in between pants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco’s hair was styled differently today, it was free of the stiff gel he usually permeated it with, and the carefree appearance made him look more boyish. He was wearing black again to Harry’s distaste. Harry always preferred seeing him in red, it didn’t wash him of colour like black often did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small smile twitched at Draco’s lips, ‘why would I come watch a Gryffindor game?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘For me, of course.’ Harry had to physically restrain himself from touching Draco’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘As much as I’d love to have a view of your arse on a broom, I have detention.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh,’ Harry’s spirits fell drastically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was visibly unconvinced with Draco’s excuse, but the previous stress lining Draco’s features before he had noticed Harry made it seem serious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But,’ Draco quickly said, ‘let’s do something to celebrate your win tonight?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry let out a laugh, ‘we haven’t won yet.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Well since you’re playing, I’m sure you’ll win.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An ache in Harry’s chest made itself prominent as he gazed at Draco, he was bursting with affection for him in that moment. He wished he could lean closer and kiss him, letting their bond bloom into something even more beautiful. But it was the sheer fact that he couldn’t which made Harry sadden.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Celebrate how exactly?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Just meet me at the castle entrance at eight,’ Draco instructed. ‘Bring your glitzy invisibility cloak with you too.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Glitzy?’ Harry struggled to stifle his grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oi, Harry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the sound of Ron’s voice, both boys’ demeanours completely shifted, and their smiles were immediately replaced with panic. Harry felt his body heat up instantly and he was terribly afraid to look at Ron’s face but before he could, Draco shoved his shoulder against Harry’s in a force that made him stumble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Get out of my fucking way Potter.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The malice in Draco’s tone that lingered in the air even after he had disappeared through the twisted hallway made Harry wince ever so slightly. Ron ran up to him, a wary glare pitched on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What the hell did Malfoy want?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swallowed, ‘just his usual taunting.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Always such a git, isn’t he?’ Ron seethed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was this exact moment that made Harry realise that even though his own hatred towards Draco had dissolved under the weight of their new blooming affection, his friends would never change their opinions in a similar way. They would always regard Draco as the same boy who had terrorised them for five years straight, called Hermione slurs and bullied Ron for his family’s lack of wealth. He didn’t blame them for this, after all, Harry still found it difficult to forgive Draco for the ghosts of the past. But the Draco he had become infatuated with wasn’t the same as the one he had met in Madam Malkins five years ago, there was something within him worth holding onto now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah, let’s head to the pitch.’ Harry said, conscious of the time restraint.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they walked quietly towards the direction of the Quidditch stadium, Ron glanced at Harry from the corner of his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You know for a moment back there, I thought you were almost smiling at Malfoy.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s mouth went dry, ‘don’t be stupid Ron. I’d never smile at Malfoy.’ He lied easily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>True to Draco’s prediction, the Gryffindor had won against Ravenclaw despite their inner team turmoil. Celebrations, however, were less boisterous than usual, the players slowly disappearing one by one from the common room. Whilst Ron and Hermione again slipped away for another rendezvous, Harry was relieved that he could easily leave for a few hours without being missed. He had decided that tomorrow morning at breakfast he would devise a plan with the help of his best friends to deal with the Slughorn predicament, but for now, Draco was waiting for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry broke away from a very detailed conversation with Cormac about future Quidditch strategies Harry could employ, he made a quick trip to his dormitory for his invisibility cloak. Finding it at the bottom of his trunk, Harry turned to leave when his eyes caught onto a scarlet, heart shaped box on his bed. He curiously opened it to see an array of dainty, patterned chocolates and without much thought, Harry clutched in his hands on the journey to meet Draco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite being slightly late, Harry saw Draco standing just outside the entrance, glancing around warily. There was still an hour till curfew, so they were relatively safe for now. Butterflies filled Harry’s stomach as he neared Draco, he had waited all day for this. Ensuring no one was around, Harry shrugged his cloak off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re early,’ he said, causing Draco to turn around swiftly with a relieved smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Well would you look at that, there’s Gryffindor’s golden boy. Five minutes late to be exact.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry rolled his eyes, ‘I got caught up in the midst of the celebratory party.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ah yes,’ Draco mused, eyes twinkling. ‘I told you you’d win.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You seem pretty happy about it for a Slytherin. Are you perhaps a…Gryffindor supporter?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mocking tone Harry adopted made Draco’s jaw clench and he looked to the side, his sharp nose flaring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Now you’re just being absurd.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Perhaps.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Who’re the chocolates from?’ Draco asked, his eyes falling onto the box clasped in Harry’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged, ‘no idea, probably a secret admirer.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco scoffed, a slight enragement biting at his features. ‘And you plan on feeding them to me?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Of course. Who else would I feed them to?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry laughed quietly at Draco’s begrudged attitude and raised his invisibility cloak, ushering Draco to get under it. Even though the cloak wasn’t large enough to hide their feet, when they were crouched, both he and Draco fit perfectly under it. Noticing Draco’s awed expression as he looked around the invisibility cloak, Harry smirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Pretty glitzy right?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco nodded eagerly, ‘how did you even get this?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘My dad,’ Harry said briefly, ‘where’re we going?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not saying anything, Draco grasped onto Harry’s hand all of sudden and began leading him down the steep hill towards where Hagrid’s hut was situated. The unexpected contact made Harry flush slightly, Draco, however, seemed unfazed as he concentrated on the direction in which they were moving. As they passed Hagrid’s hut in silence and headed towards the forbidden forest, Harry stopped in place. Draco looked back at him in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Don’t tell me your idea of a romantic date spot is the forbidden forest?’ Harry asked in indignation, his eyes flickering from the daunting forest to Draco’s amused face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Just trust me, I know a place.’ Draco insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Do you want us to get bombarded by centaurs or even worse, the sodding giant spiders that have already tried to kill me once?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco sighed, his grip on Harry’s hand tightening, ‘we’re not going that far in so relax. Besides, I’ve been going into the forest for potion ingredients and I’m still in one piece.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You go in there alone?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah, I’m not completely terrified like I was in first year anymore.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stayed quiet for a few moments, still reluctant to enter the forest when his experiences with it had been so dire. But the reassurance of having Draco’s hand intertwined with his own made his courage soar slightly and with a meek nod from him, Draco began to lead them into the dense foliage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking around hesitantly to ensure Aragog’s family wasn’t ready to encroach upon them at any moment, Harry didn’t realise Draco had stopped walking until his body slammed into Draco’s. Harry groaned as he rubbed at the sharp pain in his nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Are we here?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the invisibility cloak slipped off of their bodies and Draco moved forward, Harry was dumbstruck of the clearing Draco had brought him to. It was a space cleared of any overhanging trees blocking the sky from view and instead, the moonlight was shining directly onto the patchy grass, lightening its surroundings with a silver, glimmering light. There were flowers scattered around, tainted with white and silver. And amidst the overbearing light, Draco stood, his skin sparking as he held out his hand to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry almost tripped over his own feet as he crossed the distance between them and pressed his lips forcefully against Draco’s. Draco was fervent in his response, entangling his slender figures in Harry’s chaotic hair, his other hand settling in on Harry’s waist. They held each other close, basked in the sounds of the nightlife and moved their lips against each other’s as if the world was on the brink of disaster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling away, Draco gazed fondly at Harry, moving his hands towards Harry’s face so he could cradle it. Harry was breathing heavily, his chest moved up and down and his lips were swollen, but he wanted to remember every moment of this. This wouldn’t last forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re beautiful.’ Harry breathed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘That’s something I never thought I’d ever hear from your mouth.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry rolled his eyes as Draco’s hands fell from his face; the chill of the night air attacked his burning cheeks. Draco settled down onto the twig and leaf covered ground and pulled Harry downwards with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Look up,’ he instructed. ‘You can actually see the stars from here.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Draco’s face was upturned, focused on the sky, Harry couldn’t tear his eyes away from Draco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m looking.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a lopsided smile on his face, Draco turned to Harry, his blonde eyebrow quirked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re looking at the wrong star Harry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shook his head vigorously, ‘I’m looking at the only star I want to see.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of smiling this time, a sullen expression took over Draco’s features and he abruptly turned his head to the side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I don’t know what you see in me.’ He muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What do you mean?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m not a good person Harry. You’re Harry Potter for Merlin’s sake and I’m just…me.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The vulnerability in Draco’s voice alarmed Harry, it was unfamiliar and unsettling for someone like Draco. He was never insecure, always confident and proud around Harry. But now, it seemed as if it was all really just a well-played façade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re a good person too Draco.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco let out a snort at this, his body moving with the motion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I mean it.’ Harry persisted, ‘you’ve done and said a lot of horrible things, I can’t deny that. But I’ve seen you be good too, on more than one occasion.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was enough to make Draco turn towards Harry again, his eyebrows furrowed, ‘like what?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘In second year, when Dobby came to my aunt and uncle’s house to warn me about the chamber of secrets, he told me he’d heard great things about me. I thought about it a lot you know, I wondered why Dobby even came to warn me when he had no idea who I actually was and had no obligation towards helping me.’ Harry said, ‘and then, it kinda just…hit me. It was you who sent Dobby to my house that night, wasn’t it?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco’s lips formed a straight line as he looked at Harry in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I mean, who else could it be? You parents aren’t exactly my biggest fans, so that left one person who could potentially tell Dobby about me, someone who was around to witness the stuff that went on in first year, it was you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence lapsed between them as Draco tried to think of something to say in response, he hadn’t thought Harry would’ve grasped onto such a minor detail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘And you wrote me letters when I most needed them, you sent them because you saw me crying. Someone who isn’t naturally good wouldn’t do something like that for someone they hate.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fierceness in Harry’s voice in his defence for Draco made Draco’s hands clench. He didn’t deserve this at all, if Harry knew exactly what he’d done these past few months, he’d never spare another glance at Draco again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re thinking too highly of me Harry,’ Draco said quietly. ‘I was more worried about my own well-being when I told Dobby to warn you and the letters, I needed a distraction and that’s why I wrote them.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re lying.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m not!’ Draco’s voice was louder now and after a few moments he added, ‘maybe this was a bad idea.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No,’ Harry immediately said, ‘don’t say that. Just don’t, Draco.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The panic stricken look on Harry’s face was enough to stop him from going any further. There were underlying issues everywhere in their makeshift relationship, the gaping holes in it threatening to swallow them whole. But their time was limited and all they had was now. Draco sighed out and placed his hand on top of Harry’s cold one, their eyes met.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I won’t.’ He promised, his eyes glanced towards the discarded red chocolate box in front of them. ‘Let’s just try your secret admirer chocolates and forget I said anything.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small smile tugged at Harry’s lips and he briefly nodded as Draco reached for the box. He chose the largest one from the centre and placed it in his mouth, savouring the sweet taste. Harry didn’t move to take one for himself, his eyes focused on Draco who closed his eyes as he relished in the taste.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Is it good?’ Harry asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco’s eyes remained closed as he swallowed and a few moments passed before he opened his eyes, his expression suddenly filling with an emotion Harry couldn’t comprehend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Do you think she knows who I am?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Romilda Vane,’ Draco breathed out, a dreamy look passing through his eyes. ‘Do you think she knows I exist?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was ridden silent, the dread made goosebumps arise onto his skin. He knew Romilda Vane, she had been one of the girls who followed him around and had attempted to try-out for the quidditch team earlier in the year. But what he didn’t understand was why Draco of all people was asking about her all of a sudden?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What does that have to do with anything?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco looked enraged by this question and scrambled to his feet, ‘I’m in love with her!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the uncharacteristic quivering to Draco’s lips that made Harry realise what was going on, his eyes fell to the red box Draco had taken the chocolate from. In the inside of the lid which now lay flat against the dirt, there was a note signed by Romilda Vane. She had tried to give Harry a love potion. Except, it had unfortunately reached Draco first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> ‘Alright, alright.’ Harry assured him, ‘why don’t we go pay her a visit?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only solution to this problem Harry could think of was Slughorn. In their first potions lesson he had explained that antidotes to love potions were straightforward to brew so surely, he could make one to relieve Draco of his Romilda Vane infatuation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco’s face brightened up, ‘really?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah, she’s in Slughorn’s office for…detention. Let’s go there,’ Harry spoke as if he was talking to a child and lightly held onto Draco’s arm, engulfing them both under the safety of the invisibility cloak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apparently being under a love potion also coincidentally had made Draco gullible enough to follow Harry’s lead through the forest. As they walked, Draco mumbled to himself, eyes filled with excitement at the prospect of seeing his ‘one true love.’ Harry had to stifle his laughter, finding the entire affair rather comical, he could already imagine how enraged Draco would be later when Harry would recite what he had exactly been saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To Harry’s relief, the trip to Slughorn’s office was obstacle free. At one-point Harry had had to cover Draco’s mouth as Filch walked past their hidden figures, however the old man was too preoccupied with chasing after Mrs Norris to pay them any regard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Is she really here?’ Draco asked eagerly, looking towards Harry for confirmation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knocking on Slughorn’s office door and shoving the invisibility cloak into his pocket, Harry replied. ‘Yeah, she’s right inside Draco. You’ll get to see your darling soon.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door swung open abruptly, revealing a glum looking Slughorn who took one look at Harry and almost slammed the door shut in their faces. But, as his eyes lingered towards Draco who was now humming and swaying on his feet, the wrinkles in his forehead became more prominent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What in Merlin’s beard is wrong with Mr Malfoy?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sighed, ‘a love potion, it seems like he ate some chocolates that were meant for me. I wouldn’t bother you unless it wasn’t serious sir, I was hoping you’d have an antidote?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn pursed his lips and moved to the side to allow the boys entrance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I have some in my storage, bring him in Harry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Thank you so much sir,’ Harry thanked him in relief and dragged Draco into the clearly empty room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Where’s Romilda?’ Draco asked, looking around frantically as he jutted out his bottom lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Bathroom,’ Harry pushed him into a chair. ‘She’ll be back soon.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Again, Draco under the influence of the love potion trusted Harry’s words and returned to his dreamy state as Harry approached Slughorn who was busily searching through his drawers. He straightened up as he located a small vial of what Harry could only assume was the antidote Draco needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I really appreciate this professor. I apologise for bothering you so late.’ Harry said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn mindlessly waved him away, his previous fondness making an appearance on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It’s fine my boy, nasty love potion that stuff,’ he nodded towards Draco who was now deliriously singing a weird sister’s song.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘If you don’t mind sir…’ Harry spoke slowly, ‘could you not mention this to anyone else?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn seemed curious by Harry’s demand, but he didn’t verbalise it, only nodding in agreement. He walked towards Draco, vial in hand and held it out to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’s this?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Just a draught for the nerves.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn’s words were enough to make Draco tilt the vial in his mouth and gulp its entire contents. The effect wasn’t immediate, but as a minute passed and it settled into Draco’s system, his enamoured smile dissipated instantly. Confusion took over his eyes as he looked around, unable to comprehend how he had made it to Slughorn’s office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Love potion,’ Harry said, walking closer to where Draco sat. ‘The chocolates had a love potion in them.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco’s jaw clenched as he ran his palm through his platinum blonde hair, ‘I’m going to murder your bloody fangirls Potter.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A laugh escaped from Harry’s mouth, causing Draco to glare at him threateningly. Slughorn lingered behind them, disappearing in his shabby cupboard for something. As he emerged with a stack of three glasses in one hand and a bottle of mead in the other, both boys looked towards him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I think we all deserve a good old drink tonight,’ Slughorn said cheerfully, placing the cups down to fill them with the fragrant drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco’s heart began to thrum so aggressively in his chest that he had to grip onto the chair for stability. He recognised that exact bottle clearly, it was the same one Madam Rosmerta had sold to Slughorn. The very same one Draco had poisoned. The panic began to bubble up his throat, tasting uncomfortably acidic as Harry with a grin on his face moved closer to grasp one of the glasses. Draco wanted to move forward and take it from Harry’s hand in an instant, but it felt as if every one of his limbs was immobilised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Time was slipping away as Draco had only a few seconds to decide on what to do. His heartbeat fogged up his hearing and the light headedness took over. Draco was so painfully close to exposing himself and ruining the entirety of his task when Harry took a sip of the mead. The poison's effect was rapid, one moment Harry was conversing with Slughorn and the next, he was writhing on the floor, the foam flowing from his mouth like an ocean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Falling to his knees, Draco grabbed onto Harry’s face to see his eyes rolling back and his complexion paling. Slughorn stood shell-shocked, unable to move and Draco felt the tears sting in his eyes. Harry was dying because of him; he had done this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Do something!’ Draco screamed at Slughorn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But as Slughorn failed to move, petrified by the sigh, Draco rushed towards the cabinet himself. There was no antidote that would work, nothing would be powerful enough to counteract the effects of the poison instantaneously. His eyes, however, fell onto the box labelled </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bezoars</span>
  </em>
  <span> and he immediately remembered what Harry had done in class just a few weeks prior.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was the only solution Draco could think of and as he pushed the shrivelled stone into Harry’s mouth and begged him to swallow, he found his own life slipping away. Harry choked on the stone at first, yet as it departed from his mouth, his body began to relax ever so slightly as the moments passed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco breathed out, the tears streaking his cheekbones as Harry began to breathe again. He collapsed backwards against the leg of the chair, in shock at what had just occurred. Slughorn bent down to check Harry’s pulse, his worry stricken face an ashen grey colour. The admiration in his gaze as he glanced at Draco made Draco want to throw up. He didn’t deserve it; he wasn’t the hero in this story.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had been completely wrong. Draco wasn’t a good person. He wasn’t a person at all.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter ended up being really long so it took me a while to write it &gt;.&lt; Thank you for reading everyone &lt;3 RIP happy Drarry...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Saved</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Harry was bathed into a long, vulturous dream in the aftermath of the poisoning. He was roaming the hallways of what seemed like Hogwarts masked in an uncanny feeling in every direction. There was no aim in his walking, Harry was only mindlessly wondering from door to door in hopes of finding some purpose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry entered into an empty classroom bare of any furniture except a tall, silver encrusted mirror, he moved forward. The room was filled with darkness, the lingering light of the moon that shone through the windows being the only light source. He recognised the mirror; it was the same one he had come across during his first year. The mirror of Erised. When he was smaller than he was now, Harry remembered clearly what he had seen. His parents had been on either side of him, their gleaming faces enough to warm his insides.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet now, as Harry stood in front of the mirror, having aged considerably since then, he no longer saw his parents. Instead, Draco stood to his right, his face glowing with healthiness and appearance clear of any of his usual melancholy. The moon light made his figure glow, amplifying his aura. He was gazing dotingly at Harry’s figure, his smile bringing forth the same warmth within Harry that his parents had also prompted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thinking this was a dream, Harry touched Draco’s reflection, almost feeling his ragged breaths on the nape of his neck. But as various hands gripped onto his clothes and brutally tugged him away from the mirror, Harry yelped out and realised it was a nightmare that he was currently indulged in. He frantically looked on either side of him to locate the owners of the hands on him, he was met with his parent’s faces, maligned and distorted as they shrieked hollow screams in Harry’s ears. Harry pressed his hands against his ears to shield the sounds, his body thrashing violently till he awoke, writhing in a bed in the hospital wing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first face he saw was Madam Pomfrey’s who peered over his body. Harry’s eyes moved from face to face, Ron and Hermione were at his side, both stricken with worry. Behind them, Dumbledore and Snape conversed quietly about something, Slughorn who stood beside them was still clasping the poisoned mead bottle in his aged hands. To Harry’s disappointment, the person he wanted to see the most was absent. He had expected this, yet the frustration washed over him in great measures.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt his head spinning, a spreading ache settled into his temple as the light above hit his irises. The interior of his stomach felt also burned, the aftermath of the poison making it feel as if he had swallowed saw dust. He wondered just how long the discomfort would last.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Try not to move Mr Potter!’ Madam Pomfrey instructed as Harry tried to sit up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numerous pairs of eyes moved towards him at the sound of this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry, you’re awake!’ Hermione exclaimed in relief, her hand gripping onto his arm, ‘oh thank Godric, we were all so worried.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You really scared us there mate,’ Ron whispered meekly over her shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite Madam Pomfrey’s warnings, Harry straightened himself into a seating position and tried to force a smile at his best friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘At least I can say I’m the boy who lived twice now.’ He joked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Letting out a snorted laugh, Ron collapsed into the chair next to Hermione’s, relief flooding through his face. Even though Hermione had tried to pretend Harry’s joke wasn’t amusing, she was smiling ever so slightly, glad that Harry could at least joke in such a dire situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumbledore strode closer to Harry, his calculating gaze showing that he knew much more than Harry hoped he did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘How’re you feeling Harry?’ He asked, hands clasped behind his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Surprisingly okay, professor.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Horace alerted me of how effective and fast paced this specific poison is, you are very lucky indeed. If Mr Malfoy had hesitated for only a few moments, you wouldn’t be sitting here right now.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry drew a breath in as Dumbledore dropped the piece of information which was enough to make both Hermione and Ron snap their heads towards him in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Malfoy?’ Ron asked, eyes moving from Harry to Dumbledore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry only bit his lip, glancing bitterly at Slughorn who shifted on his feet, looking particularly guilty in failing to keep his word. Dumbledore answered instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes, luckily, Mr Malfoy was the one who thought quickly on his feet to give Harry the Bezoar. Quite commendable on his part.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With her mouth falling open, Hermione gasped, surprised that not only had Draco Malfoy saved Harry’s life, but indirectly, so had the Half-blood Prince. A lingering silence settled after this, Harry was afraid to raise his head and meet the eyes of his friends, he knew it was dubious that Draco had even been there in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Regardless Harry, I am very relieved you are okay, and I do promise you that we will be looking into the origins of this poisoned mead.’ Dumbledore assured him and without a further word, he trailed away to where the other professors still stood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Malfoy?’ Ron asked incredulously, his eyes focused solely on Harry’s weary frame.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, ‘yeah, he saved my life.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I mean, thank god he’s got one good bone in him.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Biting his tongue, Harry suppressed the now natural instinct to protect Draco from any adverse claims made about his character. He figured this was a consequence of their newfound understanding. Hermione didn’t say anything on the Draco matter, he lips remaining tightly pursed as she thought deeply about something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Ron began to indulge into the occurrences of the celebratory party to Harry, Hermione remained disassociated from them. Dread began to build up in his Harry’s chest as he realised that whilst Ron was oblivious and had already forgotten of Draco’s involvement in this entire affair, Hermione was much more perceptive. When he least expected it, Hermione would definitely question Harry about it, and it put him on edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few days passed in the hospital wing and Draco still hadn’t visited him. His absence left a gaping hole in Harry’s chest that only widened and deepened each day. The only reason he could think of for Draco’s lack of visitation was that he was perhaps afraid of people seeing them together and asking enough queries to destroy their dynamic. But even this faltered sometimes, in the night, there was no one around and yet, Draco was failing to grasp a hold of these opportunities. Religiously checking the marauders map, Harry became fixated with tracking Draco’s steps, hoping they’d come near to the hospital wing, yet they never did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry grew wearier by the day, taking out his agitation on his uninformed best friends. They could detect something was awry with Harry, they knew him well enough to know when something of weighty concern lingered over his head. It was the sheer sensation of missing Draco that made the days in the hospital wing longer in length and the schoolwork – that he had to complete in bed – never ending. All he wanted was to leave already and go to Draco himself to ensure everything between them was safe, yet Madam Pomfrey had strongly insisted he stay for a few days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the last day of his hospital wing stay, Hermione came alone to deliver Harry’s homework. Ron was busily preparing for the Quidditch final that Harry could unfortunately no longer participate in. Usually, this would’ve irked him greatly, yet being compared against Draco’s absence, it was no longer a matter of concern for Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It’s your last day in here, right?’ Hermione asked as she settled into the wooden chair next to his bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded as he sifted through the papers, ‘about time. I can’t take one more day in here.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Mhm.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Why were you and Malfoy together in Slughorn’s office?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There it was. The inevitable question. Harry had been expecting it and yet, he was still ridden silent. The papers slipped from his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Slughorn asked us to meet him there.’ Harry lied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, he didn’t.’ Hermione said, crossing her arms, ‘I heard him tell Dumbledore that you brought him there because of a love potion he had consumed.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh, well. Yeah, I found him acting a little wonky – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re lying.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked at her with wide eyes and protested, ‘no, I’m not!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione went quiet for a few moments, biting her lip as she observed Harry’s face. He shifted under the heat of her gaze, feeling as if he was being scrutinised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Is there something going on? Is he threatening you?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No!’ Harry spluttered, ‘Just let it go Hermione.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighed out, ‘I’m just worried Harry. Ron told me he saw you both talking before the quidditch game too.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silently cursing at Ron in mind, Harry grimaced. He was suddenly uncomfortable with how much Hermione had deciphered. He knew what it would equate to, if Hermione knew – if anyone knew, his relationship with Draco would end. He wasn’t ready for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Look, ‘Mione.’ Harry started slowly, ‘I wasn’t talking to him, he was just saying arsey things like he always does, and I felt sorry for him about the love potion thing. The chocolates were meant to be delivered to me and he kinda got caught up in it. And besides, he did save my life.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘That’s true, he did.’ Hermione muttered, placing her fingers on her chin as she thought some more. ‘It just doesn’t make sense. I didn’t think Malfoy would be the type of person to jump at saving someone.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘He didn’t want me to die, it’s a normal, human reaction.’ Harry retorted fiercely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione turned her calculative eyes towards Harry, her eyes showing that she had located some kind of conclusion in her mind. Yet she didn’t verbalise it to Harry, instead she smiled lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Malfoy isn’t exactly normal.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was something Harry couldn’t argue against. Nothing about Draco was normal, yet this wasn’t necessarily a negative thing. Harry, himself, wasn’t normal either, but when he and Draco were together, their lack of normality likened to something almost extraordinary.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later that night, Harry was examining his potions textbook with the light of his wand when he noticed a persistent shadow from the corner of his eye. At first, he assumed it was Madam Pomfrey checking in on Harry and the only other patient, a second year with an unfortunate case of dragon pox. But as the shadow stayed in the same location, unmoving for several seconds, Harry glanced in its direction to see Draco amidst the darkness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Draco,’ he breathed out, half-climbing out of bed when Draco rushed closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Don’t get up.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Draco stepped into the light of the meek lamp next to Harry’s bed, Harry inhaled sharply. Dark violet shadows creased Draco’s under eyes, his face was so gaunt and grey that he almost resembled a dementor. Even though only a few days had passed, he looked starkly different to Harry’s eyes, a hollow shell of the Draco he had kissed in the forest. And, above everything else, Harry noticed the slight shake to Draco’s body, his eyes looking as if he was inwardly being tortured and torn to pieces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’s wrong,’ Harry whispered as he reached to touch Draco’s face, but Draco moved his head to the side before Harry could make contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Don’t, Harry,’ he muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The worry began to bloom in Harry’s chest, he knew something wasn’t right about the entire situation, but seeing Draco in such a horrendous state only opened wounds inside of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Did something happen?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry let his hand fall to his side and gripped the bedding tightly as he waited for a response. Letting out an unsteady sigh, Draco’s eyes met Harry’s, his pupils shook.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You almost died.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But I didn’t,’ Harry said, ‘you saved me – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No. Don’t say that.’ Draco interrupted him, his eyes becoming glassy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Confusion swelled Harry’s expression; he was unsure as to what was prompting Draco’s reaction. He had saved Harry, he ought to be relieved that he had near missed death, yet he only seemed burdened.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What? Did you want me to die or something?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No!’ Draco protested quickly, ‘of course not, don’t be stupid.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stood up, levelling his and Draco’s eyes, ‘then why are you acting so guilty Draco? You saved my life. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco swallowed the lump in his throat, ‘you don’t understand,’ he murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking Draco’s hand in his own, Harry gave him a pointed look full of reassurance. Draco glanced down at their hands, his fingers almost slipping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Just come lie down with me, please?’ Harry pleaded, nodding towards the bed behind them, ‘I missed you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Draco didn’t respond, keeping his lips tightly pressed together, he allowed Harry to lead him to the bed and laid down next to him. His chest suddenly felt as if it was being filled with cement as the warmth of Harry’s body radiated onto his and Harry rested his head onto his chest. Draco wondered if Harry could hear the acceleration of his heartbeat or the guilt that was practically shrieking inside of his stomach, wanting to reveal itself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I missed you too.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco could taste the bitterness in his mouth, the words so sour that he made a face and glanced down at the sleeping form at the end of the room. He knew he was only extending his own anguish; he didn’t deserve to be around Harry, not anymore. Yet, he couldn’t leave. Draco had come to a solid conclusion the moment he had seen Harry writhing on the floor a few nights prior, he wasn’t ready to lose him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The future was uncertain for them both, they would both be travelling in different directions with destinations of their own. But for now, they were together with no destination in mind and Draco wanted to roam mindlessly with Harry for as long as he could. He had only a few, meagre weeks left and now, even these would be overtaken by guilt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Why did you take so long to visit?’ Harry asked in a small voice, ‘I was waiting for you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I didn’t want to risk being seen by one of your friends.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was a lie. Draco hadn’t even thought of Harry’s friends, instead, he had been too preoccupied with punishing himself. He had taken numerous, scalding showers, making his skin so red that even Theo had noticed and barred him from entering the bathroom for longer than five minutes. The only solace Draco had found amongst the nightmares that burned Harry’s dying form into his mind and the constant ache in his chest was the locket that always remained warm now. He had whispered more instances into it, and they were all to do solely with Harry and no one else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m just glad you’re here now,’ Harry shuffled closer, placing his arm over Draco’s waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco could only close his eyes and breathe in Harry’s smell, pretending he deserved this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘How’re you feeling?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Good, way better than the first day.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Have you been bored.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’ve been reading a lot.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You have?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco felt Harry nod against his chest, ‘Hermione brought me this pile of muggle books to keep me occupied.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sounds boring.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Actually,’ Harry said, ‘there was something I read and it…reminded me of you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Opening his eyes, Draco glanced down at Harry’s head in curiosity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What was it?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of responding, Harry shuffled to the opposite side of the bed, allowing the air to attack Draco’s now empty side. He reached for a book on the bedside table and upon grasping it, Harry concentrated on turning the pages.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His finger lightly roamed across the words before he stopped at a specific line and read, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘there will be time to prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet; there will be time to murder and create, and time for all the works and days of hands that lift and drop a question on your plate; time for you and time for me, and time yet for a hundred indecisions, and for a hundred visions and revisions.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The mention of the word murder made Draco stop breathing all together. There was a lapsed silence that didn’t have time to settle as Harry turned his head to look at Draco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Did you hear that?’ He said, ‘there will be time Draco, there’s time for us.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco stayed quiet, his tongue useless in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘There’s still time for you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The belief in Harry’s voice made him begin to shake again, he could tell that Harry had noticed something, something Draco didn’t want him to know. He wished Harry’s words were true, he wanted there to be time. But there was none, the task was looming over his head, the vanishing cabinet was still malfunctioning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Come here,’ Draco asked desperately, holding out his arms like a child in need of familial support.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn’t hesitate in obliging and moved effortlessly into Draco’s arms; his own arms snaked around Draco’s frame. Draco held onto him tightly, trying to steal remnants of Harry’s courage that he wished he himself owned. Closing his eyes once again, Draco forced his mind to pretend that he was just an ordinary boy holding the person he loved, that he hadn’t almost killed the only person who saw the good in him even when he didn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m kind of stressed out,’ Harry said after a few moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco leaned back so he could see his face, ‘why?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘There’s something I have to do, but I’m having trouble figuring out how.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What is it?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry gave him a meek look, ‘I can’t say, I’m sorry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking his head instantly, Draco felt almost embarrassed that he had even begun to think Harry could tell him anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It must be serious if you can’t tell me,’ he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah, it is. Wish I had a lucky potion like you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Harry was joking, a lopsided smile on his face, Draco took it seriously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You can take mine.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s eyes widened, ‘I was joking Draco.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m not.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was the fact that Draco felt inclined to make reparations for his actions, but the notion of giving up a vial of liquid luck that would be useful to his own cause seemed insignificant. Whatever Harry needed it for was something much more crucial than Draco’s task, he knew this without even knowing the specifics.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I can’t take your liquid luck Draco, you won it fair and square.’ Harry reasoned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I don’t need it Harry,’ Draco lied. ‘You’d make better use of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was still reluctant to accept the offer, looking suspicious of Draco’s words yet he was also clearly desperate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I don’t know…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Just meet me in the astronomy tower tomorrow, I’ll bring it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The finality in Draco’s voice left no room for Harry to attempt to reject the offer again and it was settled. Harry finally had a plan on how to obtain Slughorn’s memory and it was all thanks to Draco, his good Draco. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if anyone is interested, the poem Harry quoted is The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T. S. Eliot. It's my favourite poem so i really wanted to feature it since it also inspired the title &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Happy Endings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Raising the vial to the light, Harry admired the clear liquid and the way light made it sparkle with its touch as he lay on his bed. True to his word, Draco had given Harry the vial of liquid luck, his urgency to pass it over was almost alarming to Harry. Draco seemed uncomfortable with even holding the glass vial, assuring Harry that it was worth more to him than it was to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry wasn’t oblivious, he knew there was something colossal on Draco’s mind. He had changed drastically since that night; Draco’s eyes npw held an essence of shame as if he was pained by even being in the same room as Harry. Even though Harry had tried to ignore it, he couldn’t help but feel hurt by Draco’s actions, wondering constantly if he had perhaps changed his mind about them, about Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The vial was still full to the brim, there being no indication that Draco had even used it. It felt weighty between Harry’s fingers, the reluctancy to use it was still evidently present within him. But he knew he had to; this was the only way he could become confident enough to convince Slughorn to share his memories. The pressure was daunting to Harry, if only he hadn’t been labelled as ‘the chosen one’, his parents would still be here, and he and Draco could possibly have a chance. Yet, he was destined to remain alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting up, Harry uncapped the vial and spent a few moments staring at the vial before he swallowed its entire contents. The euphoria was instant, replacing the bitter mood Harry had previously been in within seconds. Not only was his mood heightened, but the narcissist within him was raging, insistent that his problem with Slughorn was an easy task. Harry had never felt this confident in himself in a long time and as he looked into the mirror, he found himself admiring his own reflection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no doubt that Felix Felicis was working its magic, heightening Harry to lengths that would ensure he could solve any problem tonight. As he walked down to the common room, Harry noticed Ron and Hermione both studying, faces buried in textbooks, next to the fire. Raising her head as Harry approached, Hermione frowned as she noticed the visible, uncharacteristic giddiness on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Evening!’ Harry exclaimed brightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Uh, evening?’ Ron replied, sharing his girlfriend’s wary look as he observed Harry. ‘You alright mate?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah! Never been better.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry?’ Hermione said, ‘shouldn’t you be resting still?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shook his head vigorously, ‘no, I’ve got an oddly strong feeling that I should go pay Hagrid a visit.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both of his best friends turned to look at each other incredulously before looking back at Harry who was smiling so widely that it was slowly becoming unsettling. They were too used to a dismal and reserved Harry who never went through spouts of such enthusiasm that he was displaying right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Hagrid? Shouldn’t you be visiting Slughorn instead?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The persistence in Hermione’s tone showed how concerned she was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Nah,’ Harry waved the idea away, ‘I fancy Hagrid’s. He said he’s having a funeral for Aragog tonight.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You want to pay your respects to a giant man-eating spider who tried to kill you in second year?’ Hermione looked bewildered at Harry’s words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah mate…did you drink some fire whisky or something?’ Ron added, standing up from the cushioned sofa to press his palm against Harry’s head. ‘You’re acting suspiciously chirpy over that bastard spider.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry ducked away from Ron’s hand and flashed both him and Hermione one final grin, ‘I’m just feeling lucky tonight.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before either of them could protest and convince him otherwise, he was already practically skipping to the portrait hall and exited the common room. Roaming the hallways, Harry found himself greeting everyone who passed him, the friendliness exuding out of his demeanour. One of the girls he had said a ‘hello’ to had almost screamed in his face, her own scarlet face and widened eyes making it clear that she was one of his avid fans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Delving out into the courtyard, Harry breathed in the crisp air of the grounds, feeling his body being purified by it. Harry suddenly wished he had a lifetime supply of Felix Felicis, knowing it would be enough to rose-tint his life and make everything much more bearable. As he strode past the herbology classrooms, the sound of his name being called made him stop in place and look behind himself. Slughorn stood next to the open window of the classroom, holding cuttings of some kind of mysterious plant that Harry wasn’t familiar with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sir!’ Harry exclaimed, overjoyed by the fact that he had run into the very person he was originally seeking. ‘What a lovely surprise!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What in Merlin’s sake are you doing out of the castle? It’s almost nightfall Harry!’ Slughorn lectured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s grin only widened, ‘I could ask you the same professor.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded his head towards the plant cuttings in Slughorn’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I was…just getting some tentacular leaves… purely for academic purposes of course.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Does Professor Sprout know that sir?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn reddened as he quickly shoved the leaves into his pocket and out of view, the guilt was apparent across his weary face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You won’t tell her, will you?’ He asked hesitantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shook his head immediately, prompting Slughorn to breathe out in relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Let us both make our way back to the castle then.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You can go ahead sir,’ Harry said, ‘my friend Hagrid’s having a funeral for his giant, dead spider and I just can’t miss it!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Raising his eyebrows surprised, Slughorn asked, ‘an acromantula?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes, an acromantula. I’m sure the venom from an acromantula sells for quite a lot in the potions market.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly glad for the random factual information Hermione had embedded within him, Harry watched Slughorn’s eyes light up as if it was Christmas morning. Harry knew such an event would be enough to lure the professor along with him and allow him an opportunity to weasel the memory out of him. It was manipulative, but it would work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Would you, perhaps…let me come along?’ Slughorn inquired, full of interest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Of course, come right along sir!’ Harry chirped, turning to lead the way to Hagrid’s shabby hut at the bottom of the overarching hill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn trailed after Harry, his previous authoritative exterior immaterialising at the sight of a very, dead Aragog pitched in front of Hagrid’s hut where Buckbeak had once been executed. Both professor and student looked awfully gleeful for people attending a funeral, yet Hagrid who was too immersed in his grief didn’t seem to notice. He had only blubbered loudly, his gargantuan frame shaking as Slughorn volunteered to offer a make-shift eulogy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry rocked on his heels as he watched the scene unfold, the lucky feeling had subsided ever so slightly, alerting him that there wasn’t much time left till it’s effects wore off. To his relief, Hagrid urged both Harry and Slughorn into his hut – only after Slughorn had obtained his precious acromantula venom – and offered them various, inedible snacks. It was once Hagrid brought out a bottle of fire-whisky that Harry grinned again, both men became indulged into drinking, losing their rationality more and more with each sip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With one last wallow over Aragog, Hagrid’s head fell with a bang onto the table, his incessant snoring following soon after. This prompted an uneasy silence to lapse as Harry and Slughorn met eyes, realising they were alone now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes sir?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I – there’s something I’d like to say to you,’ Slughorn iterated as he swept his palm across his sweaty face. ‘Forgive me for it, I might be more than overstepping, but I just felt like I had to say something.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swallowed, confused by what Slughorn was so hesitant to say to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You and Mr Malfoy, is there something…between you?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taken aback by the question, Harry didn’t reply immediately as his mouth parted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, there isn’t sir.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn didn’t look convinced by his answer, ‘it’s just that, I saw the manner in which he reacted when you were sadly poisoned. It was rather overly-friendly?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Harry replied defensively.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holding his hands up Slughorn looked apologetic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I don’t mean to offend you Harry, I just, thought I would inquire. I know quite clearly what the Malfoy family is like and I thought of your mother for a moment, worrying about you comes quite naturally.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Were you thinking about my mother when you altered your memory sir?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s bitter question was enough to make Slughorn pale even under the flush of alcohol. But, this time, he didn’t seem surprised. He had expected Harry to say something similar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘He is the one who killed them after all.’ Harry added after a few moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words lingered in the air, unsettlingly tainting their oxygen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You don’t understand…’ Slughorn trailed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What don’t I understand?’ Harry pressed, his tone increasingly becoming angry. ‘You have a vital piece of information that could help us in getting a step closer to defeating the same man who killed the woman you insist was your favourite student and yet, you aren’t willing to share it?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if he had been pinned down on a dartboard and was being scrutinised, Slughorn squirmed in his seat, closing his eyes as if he was in pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It’s not my proudest moment Harry, I regret everything.’ Slughorn whispered, his eyes welling up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stood up in an instant, ‘if you regret it then right your wrongs sir, if you just give me that memory, I can attempt to reverse your mistake.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slughorn was openly crying now, his wrinkled face stricken with hot, wet tears. Yet, Harry wasn’t deterred from his objective, kneeling down in front of Slughorn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Please professor, for my mother’s sake, give me that memory.’ He begged; the euphoria completely erased from his body now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a shaking hand, Slughorn pulled out his wand and balanced it against his temple, the tears only increased as he slowly pulled the glimmering strands from his head. Harry was quick to grasp onto a glass jar perched on Hagrid’s table and offer it to Slughorn to conceal the memory within it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Just please don’t judge me when you view its contents Harry.’ Slughorn pleaded as Harry held onto the jar so tightly that his knuckles had turned white.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Thank you, sir, really, thank you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was all Harry said before he bolted out of Hagrid’s hut and headed towards the castle. He was glad that he had decided to bring his invisibility cloak in the spur of the moment because now Harry was overflowing with the need to pay Dumbledore an immediate visit. The professor would be more than proud at seeing Harry having finally completed the task he had assigned to him months prior.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>True to what Harry had expected, as he barged into the headmaster’s office, swinging off his invisibility cloak, Dumbledore smiled knowingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Professor, I have the memory!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a brief nod of his head, Dumbledore stood up and led Harry towards his pensieve that seemed to already be prepped in advance. With one tip of the jar, both of them stepped into the awaiting contents of Slughorn’s true memory.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was past midnight when Harry exited Dumbledore’s office, his mood drastically deflated in contrast to when he first entered it. He had been undeniably naïve to believe his task had ended as soon as he had obtained the memory from Slughorn, because now, with the knowledge of horcruxes, Harry realised there was an immensely long path unwinding itself for him to walk upon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not only would he have to locate the horcruxes that Voldemort had constructed, but Harry would also have to destroy them, an even more impossible task that he had no inclination on how to approach. This information was enough to put him in a dismal mood. Harry almost felt as if he was a calf being raised for slaughter. It was too much of a task for a mere sixteen-year-old boy, how would he even survive such a fight against the darkest wizard of all time?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he neared the entrance of the astronomy tower steps, Harry contemplated whether to check for Draco, a need to be distracted befalling upon him. Deciding to delve upwards, towards the peak of the tower, Harry walked quickly, the sound of his shoes tapping against the stone echoing around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his relief, Draco was exactly where he always was, eyes focused upwards on the indifferent moon, standing a comfortable distance away from the edge. His stormy grey eyes glanced backwards as Harry moved forward, a smile again on his face at the sight of the boy he was undoubtedly falling in love with.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘How’d it go?’ Draco asked in anticipation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It worked!’ Harry said, decreasing the distance between their bodies as he looped his arms around Draco’s feeble waist. ‘I couldn’t have done it without the luck.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco looked down at Harry’s arms around him and swallowed uneasily. ‘I’m glad I could help.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You always help.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The affection in Harry’s eyes was too tempting for him to ignore and Draco placed his hands on either side of Harry’s face, joining their lips together for a kiss filled with depth and yearning. As Draco’s tongue delved into Harry’s parted mouth, Harry’s eyes flickered open and caught onto the glimpse of Draco’s black stained placid skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Breaking their locked embrace, Harry felt the air leave his lungs entirely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’s that on your arm,’ he asked, causing Draco to immediately yank away his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fear was evident in his eyes as he turned his body to the side, away from Harry. His hands gripped the sleeves of his black sweater.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I said, what the fuck is that on your arm Draco?’ Harry’s voice was forceful now, slightly cracking as the realisation of what was occurring settled in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco couldn’t respond, his throat suddenly as hoarse as sandpaper and the sweat collecting on the palm of his hands. He knew what was coming and yet, he was hoping it wouldn’t. Before he could comprehend what was happening, Harry had stalked towards him and clasped onto his arm to reveal the dark lines carved on his skin that now governed his existence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I was right,’ Harry breathed out, letting go of Draco’s arm as if it was the vilest thing he had ever encountered. ‘I was right all this time.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tears stung in Draco’s eyes as he stood frozen in place, afraid to glance at Harry. He could feel every conception Harry had of him collapsing down upon them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry…’ He pleaded, feeling shameful that he had been exposed for what he truly was, an enemy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry opened and closed his mouth like a gaping fish, suddenly feeling soiled and used. The boy he had been kissing and touching so recklessly was one tainted with the same man who had not only murdered his parents but had also ruined the entirety of his past and future.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re one of them.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco looked at him, bloodshot eyes begging silently. ‘Harry, please – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No!’ Harry exclaimed, ‘don’t you dare say my name anymore, you’re one of them Draco. You want me dead.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With his eyes widening, Draco stumbled closer, ‘no, no. You know me, you know I would never want that.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shook his head instantaneously, his lip quivering as if he was trying to force his grief at bay. His eyes frantically moved from the mark on Draco’s arm surrounded by scattered, raw scars and to Draco’s face that was now forever drained of colour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I don’t know you at all.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ruthless mixture of anger and dread surged through Draco at this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You knew all this time who I was Harry, you said yourself you knew what I am.’ Draco raised his arm so the black lines glistened in the moonlight, ‘you suspected me this entire time and yet, you didn’t say anything. You chose to ignore it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You know why I did?’ Harry let out a bitter laugh, ‘because I thought there was a slight chance that I was wrong, that there was still the tiniest of possibilities that you weren’t one of </span>
  <em>
    <span>them.</span>
  </em>
  <span>’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s face twisted maliciously as he said the word ‘them’, but Draco’s visible wincing didn’t stop him from going further.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But I was wrong, wasn’t I? You’re just as disgusting as your father and the rest. You disgust me, Draco.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every word was an arrow piercing Draco’s skin, he was left with ragged cracks in his body that he knew could never be filled and maimed with any solidifying substance. Harry was breaking him, tearing the few, meagre pieces of sanity he had left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m not,’ Draco whispered. ‘I’m not like him.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Prove it then,’ Harry said, ‘prove it by telling me what you’ve been doing in the room of requirement. I know you’re planning something Draco.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Averting his eyes to the stone ground, Draco realised there was nothing he could do to save their relationship. He couldn’t prove his innocence when there was no innocence to be displayed and iterating his task to Harry Potter of all people would put an end to not only his life, but those of his parents too. There were invisible restraints coiled around his arms, barring him from becoming the Draco that Harry had desperately wanted him to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I can’t.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words were definitive, yet the melancholy surrounding them was so immense that Harry almost felt his resolve to leave Draco falter. Draco looked small under his gaze, damaged beyond repair and above all, completely petrified. Yet, Harry knew what he had to do; he had been too foolish already. The Draco he loved, the perception of him was entirely ruined. There was no room for affection between their bodies anymore, not when countless other lives depended on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘We’re done.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking away was the cruellest thing Harry had ever had to do, especially when the sound of Draco’s stifling sobs began to remain around him. He was extraordinarily cold, shaking enough that he almost veered off the stairs and through the gaping hole perched in the middle. Tonight was a severe case of reality and Harry was void of happy endings. He wasn’t entitled to anything remotely happy. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm so sorry this chapter took so long, i've sadly been really stressed and busy with school work :( But since its the weekend, the next chapter should be faster, thank you so much for the comments, i really appreciate every single one &lt;3 also, uhh sorry drarry </p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Kisses</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sleeping on the chilled stone ground for the night had ensured Draco woke up with his back aching and stiff. As his limbs had been scrunched in a foetal position, when he stretched his legs, a sharp pain went through his body. It travelled from Draco’s toes, right up to his head that racked as if it had been banged repeatedly against the floor. Draco assumed this was the consequence of sobbing so hysterically last night that he had had to mutter a feeble silencing charm to guarantee no one found him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Draco sat up, last night’s events came rushing to him all at once and he immediately felt queasy. Being asleep had meant he could have a few hours of peace with dreams in which Harry still loved him. But now, he was awake and alone. He decided it was a shower he needed, another attempt to cleanse himself and began to make the walk back to the dungeons.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every step Draco took was weighty, it felt as if his feet were being swallowed by the ground, pulling him further down. By the time he entered the sparse common room, Draco was forcefully dragging his feet and hoping that he wouldn’t collapse. His plans were to quickly take a shower before delving into the comfort of his bed and letting his duvet consume his figure, yet these thoughts immaterialised as Draco came face to face with a hyperventilating Theo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Where the fuck have you been all night?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco was taken aback by the mixture of anger and worry on his face, the same expression on both Blaise and Pansy’s faces who stood behind Theo in the vicinity of their shared room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I…’ Draco trailed off, unsure of how to react to such unexpected concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo rubbed his temples as he sighed out, ‘do you know how worried the three of us have been? I thought something happened to you. I thought, you were doing something stupid.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pained looks that flushed over the face of all three of his friends made Draco’s breathing halt. He hadn’t expected anyone to notice his absence since the relationships that existed between them were construed so adversely. Yet the purple shadows under Pansy’s eyes and the disorderliness in Blaise’s appearance – who was usually anything but scruffy – made Draco realise that they hadn’t gotten any sleep last night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You can’t just gallivant around the castle all night and come back here looking like shit without telling us Draco.’ Pansy hissed out angrily, ‘Theo was so worried that he practically dragged Blaise and I from our beds in the middle of the night.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Well sorry I inconvenienced you all so much.’ Draco muttered, his eyes flickering to Theo who seemed suspiciously quiet. ‘But frankly, I didn’t think any of you gave a shit.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘None of us give a shit?’ Theo seethed out, snapping his eyes to meet Draco’s. ‘Of course, we fucking give a shit.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed out Draco’s arm, allowing his sleeve to falter to reveal the same markings that had driven Harry away only a few hours prior. ‘I didn’t think this mark would make you into a dumbass who pushes away everyone.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snatching away his arm and cradling it, Draco glared at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Why don’t you speak louder Theo? Go and announce it to every single person in the Great Hall that Draco Malfoy’s a sodding, poor excuse of a death eater just like his father!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo stepped closer threateningly, ‘maybe I will.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Draco clenched his hands, Blaise moved forward to stand between both boys, his tired eyes pleading with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re both acting like a pair of pubescent muggle boys right now.’ Blaise fumed, ‘Theo, I know you’re pissed and worried, but you really need to stop bringing up the fucking death-eater card every single fight and Draco. We’re all getting sick of the whole self-pity thing; you need to start talking to us again mate. Believe it or not, we </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>your friends.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time, Draco became teary eyed, the exhaustion eradicating any effort to hold back his sensitive state. And before he knew it, small tears had turned into wracking sobs that made him again, fall to his knees in desperation. All three of his friends looked at him in complete shock, paralysed by the extent of emotion such a usually, emotionless boy was displaying. In all the time they had known Draco, they had not once seen him cry, not even when his father had caned him for being second in their year to Hermione Granger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo’s anger was dissolved now as he took timid steps towards Draco’s figure and slowly bent down next to him. He had expected for Draco to scream at him, to say something malicious to drive him away, but instead, Draco’s head only fell against Theo’s arm. Taking this as permission, Theo circled his arm across Draco’s shoulder, holding his body upright. With his eyes meeting Blaise’s, Theo nodded his head towards the door and to his relief, Blaise was quick to understand what he meant and taking a bewildered Pansy by the hand, they left the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’s wrong Draco.’ Theo muttered as Draco’s cries dimmed after a few moments, his rationality returning to him. ‘You can’t tell me it's that snake looking codger who’s made you cry this hard, what’s really wrong?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so, Draco began to tell him from start to finish the things that had transpired between him and Harry over the past school year, ensuring he didn’t hold back any singular detail. Draco knew he should’ve kept some details reserved to himself, yet once he had begun talking, the words had begun to well from his mouth like spouts of irrepressible vomit. Theo’s eyes had widened on more than one occasion as Draco spoke for what felt like hours upon hours, yet he didn’t interrupt or become judgemental.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was patient as he processed every word and once Draco had finished his long, strenuous story, Theo finally breathed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I don’t even know what to say right now.’  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco swallowed uneasily, ‘you don’t have to say anything. I know what you’re thinking Theo and I think the same. I’ve just made things a million times more complicated for myself and I’m an idiot for even thinking it could work.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re not an idiot,’ Theo said immediately. ‘At least not for that, not for wanting to love someone.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I don’t love him,’ Draco insisted, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Are you sure?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Well, for someone who’s not in love with Harry – I have a hero complex – Potter, you do seem rather overly passionate.’ Theo drawled out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, Draco let out a short laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh, and look, who knew Draco Malfoy still had the ability to laugh!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Shut up Theo.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling sheepishly, Theo nodded before turning to look out the window ahead of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’re you gonna do now?’ He hesitantly asked after a few moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco sighed out shakily, eyes following the direction of Theo’s to stare at the never-ending sky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Move on, I don’t have time to dwell over Harry. It’s almost time, I can’t let my parents down.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A saddened look invigorated Theo’s sharp features as he looked back at Draco’s placid, vacant face. He pitied his friend more than anything in that moment, realising just how much he had lost over his father’s mistakes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’ll help you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Draco – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I said no Theo!’ Draco said sharply, ‘I need to do this alone. I’m not bringing another person down with me, I refuse.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The finality in his tone was deafening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had never felt more alone in his life. He went about his life, eating breakfast with his friends and reciting the contents of the memory he had so vigorously pursued and then pitched himself as a part of the crowd for the Quidditch final. Yet, even as Gryffindor’s stand in seeker, Cormac, caught the snitch and drove them to win the cup, Harry was filled with nothing but emptiness. Grey eyes and platinum blonde hair plagued his vision everywhere he looked. He already missed Draco and it hadn’t even been twenty-four hours, how he would survive a lifetime of this, Harry didn’t know. But what he did know was that he couldn’t afford to look back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As another victory party roared onwards in the Gryffindor common room, Harry sat alone on an armchair, eyes mindlessly roaming around the joyful faces. His grip on his glass of fire-whisky tightened, making the decision to leave Draco had been easy, but forgetting him was impossible. It was the sheer fact that there was no one he could turn towards to vent his feelings that also weighed him down. Even though his best friends were in the same room as him, Harry missed their company, feeling more far away from them than he already was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You know for someone on the winning team, you do look awfully upset.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked up to see Hermione watching him with an inquisitive smile on her face, she took a seat next to him, stretching her legs out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m not upset.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You could’ve fooled me,’ she mused. ‘What is it Harry? What’s wrong?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head lightly, sipping his drink to moisten his lips. ‘Nothing’s wrong.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Is it the memory? Is it the horcruxes that have you this stressed out?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Hermione!’ Harry hissed, warily looking around them to make sure no one had heard what she had said. ‘Muffliato.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sorry.’ She replied awkwardly, ‘I’m just worried, you’re not…yourself.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few moments of silence lapsed as Harry looked down to his scuffed shoes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m just stressed,’ he admitted. ‘Everything’s just overwhelming. The memories, the horcruxes, this stupid crusade Dumbledore wants me to go on.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione pursed her lips, ‘you know you don’t have to deal with it on your own? You don’t confide in Ron and I anymore, but we could help you know. We might not be the chosen ones but we’re still your best friends.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I know...’ Harry trailed off, feeling slightly guilty. ‘It’s just that, there’s some things I can’t ask for help with.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘That’s not true.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Trust me ‘Mione, it is.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remaining quiet, Hermione looked conflicted as her eyes met Harry’s and he could tell she was desperately trying to hold something back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What?’ He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I have a question…it’s kind of intrusive and now isn’t exactly the best time, but since no one can hear us, I just wanted to get my speculations out in the open.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry filled with dread, already knowing exactly what Hermione was curious about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Are you gay Harry?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He contemplated lying, he was close to it yet, Harry was too tired of hiding now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione’s expression brightened up at this and she suddenly straightened up in her seat, ‘I didn’t expect you to admit it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Well,’ Harry shrugged mindlessly, ‘you’ve figured it out, I can’t lie to you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’ll always support you in whatever you do Harry,’ she said, placing her hand upon his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry ignored this statement, bitter that there was no longer anything for her to support. ‘What gave me away?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Lots of things,’ Hermione began. ‘It was a mixture of what you smelt in the amortentia that day in class, the lack of attention you give all the girls who swoon over you – including your short-lived rendezvous with Cho and well, Cormac McLaggen is staring at you right as we speak.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry followed her gaze to see that indeed Cormac was focused entirely on him, the girl who was chatting in his ear long forgotten and ignored. Harry’s ears reddened at this and he immediately turned back to Hermione.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What does Cormac staring at me have to do with my sexuality?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You were very blatantly admiring his behind during tryouts.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Flushing even brighter, Harry almost choked on his own spit. ‘Oh god.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘If it makes you feel better,’ Hermione said. ‘Ron is still oblivious as ever.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Thank god,’ Harry breathed out and turned his gaze back to Cormac.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes met again, and Cormac almost looked away before Harry nodded towards the door which led towards the dormitories. Understanding Harry’s silent command, Cormac walked through it and disappeared from view.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I saw that.’ Hermione said amusedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’ll be back.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even Hermione knew this was a lie, yet she let Harry walk away, under the illusion that it was Cormac who had aroused Harry’s interest and not Draco Malfoy. This was what Harry had hoped for, anxious that Hermione would soon connect the dots again and realise the cause of Harry’s persona change in the past few months.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry walked into the hallway, he came face to face with a confused Cormac who waited for him to say something. However, Harry didn’t verbalise anything, skipping the formalities and pressing his lips against Cormac’s. Cormac was taken aback by the gesture, yet he responded to Harry’s desperate attempt to forget Draco and cupped Harry’s face in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cormac pulled away momentarily, lips swollen as he asked, ‘is it over with you and him?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling his heart crushed further at the absence of the grey cloud eyes he adored so much, Harry only nodded and allowed Cormac to join their lips again. He closed his eyes, tightly clenching his eyelids in hopes that he could pretend that it was actually Draco kissing him. The trail of lust that Cormac’s lips and hands left on Harry’s skin stung like hell. There was none of the same gentility and care that Draco exuded when he had kissed Harry, instead, Cormac’s hands were coarse and a reminder that Harry would have to settle for less. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>a hint for the next chapter: it involves the sectumsempra spell...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Sectumsempra</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning: violence.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>‘I mean, did you see how good my saves were?’ Ron said to a mindless Harry who mixed around his cereal, half-listening. ‘If it wasn’t for me, we would’ve for sure lost with Cormac moving around so wonky.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swallowed at the mention of Cormac’s name and glanced briefly down the Gryffindor table where he sat with his friends, chatting animatedly. As if he could sense Harry’s gaze, Cormac’s eyes met his and he gave him a smirk. Only being able to muster a strained smile as a response, Harry turned back to Ron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah Ron, you were amazing.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The flatness in his tone made Ron frown slightly and he looked slightly guilty all of a sudden.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sorry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry furrowed his brows in confusion, ‘what?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I know how bummed you are about not being able to play in the final and yet I’m babbling on about myself.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, it’s fine,’ Harry assured him, setting his spoon down. ‘I really don’t mind, I just…have a lot on my mind about other stuff.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘The h-word stuff?’ Ron asked, shovelling a bite of eggs into his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded at this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Has the prince got any tips on that sort of thing?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sadly, no.’ Harry sighed out, noticing Hermione rushing towards them in the corner of his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stopped – out of breath – next to Ron, face flushed, and hair dishevelled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Katie’s back.’ She breathed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s eyes widened; he hadn’t expected for Katie to return to Hogwarts after everything that had occurred. He had assumed her parents would force her to attend another magical school, yet here she was, at the far end of the Gryffindor table looking significantly healthier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I didn’t think she’d be back at all,’ Harry said, eyes moving from Katie to Hermione who had now taken the seat next to Ron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Neither did I considering they still haven’t caught the person who cursed her.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something in the back of Harry’s mind stung at this, a small notion of who the culprit was being stuck there and unwilling to be acknowledged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m gonna go talk to her,’ Harry said, immediately standing up from his place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of his best friends moved to stop him, knowing that once Harry had decided upon doing something, he wasn’t deterred easily. Harry walked down the aisle between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables and as Katie saw him approach, she smiled knowingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Katie, how are you feeling?’ He asked, stopping directly in front of the petite girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Much better for someone who was cursed,’ Katie joked. ‘Before you ask me, I don’t remember anything Harry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shifted on his feet, ‘how’d you know I was gonna ask that?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katie sighed, yet the glint of amusement in her eyes made her look more like the girl Harry had flown alongside for many years.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It’s all everyone asks.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It’s fine. I’m better now, really.’ she reassured him. ‘I heard Gryffindor won the cup, congrats.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry forced a smile, ‘thanks, I didn’t really get to play since…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katie gave him a sympathetic look, indicating that she had heard about his poisoning. Her eyes flickered momentarily towards something behind Harry before she looked back at Harry. ‘I should get back to my friends.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning his body halfway to see who Katie had glanced at, Harry instantly recognised the body rushing out of the great hall with aghast expression spread across his features. The flurry of platinum blonde hair was more familiar to Harry than himself and without uttering another word to Katie, he was running after Draco, indifferent to the many stares he was getting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco was moving quicker than ever, his long legs striding the corridors of the castles towards a destination Harry couldn’t predict. Harry could feel the thrumming of his heart deafening him as he ran after Draco, unsure of what he was even going to say when he caught up. The flash of dread that Harry had seen on Draco’s face when he saw Katie was enough to incriminate him and after all, it made sense. It had been Draco that Harry suspected at first and despite Snape’s statement that Draco had been in detention at the time the package was delivery, Harry didn’t trust his word. This wouldn’t be the first time Snape had shown more allegiance to a death-eater than them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Harry’s mind was in tumult, racing from one rapid thought to the other. The necklace had been originally meant for Dumbledore and if it was Draco who had been behind the cursing, then that also meant that he was responsible for the poisoned mead that had almost killed Harry. It had been Draco all along and Harry had refused to believe it like a fool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry desperately hoped his conclusions were wrong as Draco veered into the second-floor girls lavatory. Slowing down his steps, Harry entered the bathroom quietly, hearing Draco’s crying rack the air around him. Draco’s pale hands gripped either side of the sink, body shaking so viciously that it looked as if his body would collapse at any given moment under the pressure of his panic. It was evident that he was struggling to breathe, the veins in his face prompting themselves forward through the transparency of his lucid skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Moaning Myrtle’s translucent figure lingered close to him, her face showing a mixture of recognition and concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’s the matter this time?’ She asked, yet Draco was too busy hyperventilating to notice her words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco’s reflection in the mirror was distorted with the steaminess of the room and as Harry’s steps closer echoed around them, Draco turned around in an instant. The blood drained from his face as he saw it was Harry witnessing his breakdown with his wand raised as if he was facing an enemy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I know what you did, Draco. You cursed Katie and you poisoned me, didn’t you?’ His words were spat with such a maliciousness that Draco gripped tightly onto his wand in his pocket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry took this as a threatening gesture and aimed a stinging jinx at Draco that he easily dodged, allowing him enough time to rush to the other side of the bathroom where the stalls hid him from view. The acceleration of Harry’s heartbeat made him even more anxious, finding himself bewildered by the fact that he was currently caught in a duel with the same boy he had kissed many times.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he peered around the stalls, Draco jutted a hex at him that would’ve hit him square in the chest if it wasn’t for his sharp reflexes, yet the bursting of a pipe ensured that the bathroom floor was covered in a sea of water. The slushing of their footsteps on either side of the bathroom filled the air alongside the heightening of their anxieties.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry. Please stop.’ Draco’s voice called desperately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry almost gave in, yet the image of Katie floating mercilessly in the air and the sensation of dying still fresh in his mind, he knew he couldn’t end this just yet. He stayed silent, racking his brain for one of the prince’s spells that he could use upon Draco, anything to give the upper hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unable to stay prompt, Harry abruptly moved to where Draco was, yet the sound of his feet moving through the water triggered Draco to come face to face with him. The sheer malice and vicious hatred on Harry’s fine pushed Draco to become defensive, making him afraid of the boy he loved for the first time. As Draco raised his arm, midway reciting another less weighty hex, Harry screamed the only spell he could recall in the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sectumsempra!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first, Harry underestimated its qualities as Draco only flew back, his frail frame slamming onto the wet, stone ground. Yet as Draco’s strained cries arose from his throat and Harry moved hesitantly closer, he was ridden horrified by the state of Draco’s body. Draco’s white shirt was slowly becoming perpetuated with the crimson stain of blood, tracing several slashes across his chest. Draco writhed on the floor; his face contorted in so much agony that Harry couldn’t breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry fell to his knees next to Draco, shaking his head in disbelief at the inhumane torture he had inflicted over him. He struggled to think of a spell to counter the effects, any spell that could help aid Draco’s pain, yet Harry had never been well versed in healing spells.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, no – ‘Harry muttered, the tears stinging at his eyes as Draco’s blood tainted his hands and filled his nose with the formidable, metallic scent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of scurried footsteps, sloshing through the sprouts of water made Harry turn helplessly to see Snape looking bewildered at the scene in front of him. The bewilderment, however, was short-lived as Snape settled onto the opposite side and began chanting a spell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Vultera Sanentur.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Draco was still writhing relentlessly in the pool of water and blood, the stains of blood on his shirt began to slowly disappear and Harry could only determine that Draco’s wounds were slowly being close. Harry was unsure as to how Snape had known exactly what spell to use to counter the effects of what he had done, yet the overriding guilt he felt made it hard to focus on anything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Go back to your dormitory Potter. I will deal with you later.’ Snape spat, looking at Harry with such disgust that he felt small under his gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry hesitated, wanting to stay by Draco’s side and ensure that he was indeed healed and well. But he wasn’t sure as to how he’d ever face Draco again, the same boy who had been so raw around Harry and shown only him how broken he was. Harry had only broken him further, causing more physical harm to him than anyone else. Yes, Draco had almost killed him, but he had also saved Harry’s life. This was something Harry hadn’t even been able to do, if Snape hadn’t come, Draco would be dead by now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was this that gave Harry the strength to straighten up, face filled with discomfort as he walked out covered in Draco’s blood as if it was his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry entered the Gryffindor, blood soaked and shell shocked, his best friends were alarmed. They both stopped mid-conversation with Ginny and rushed to him, asking what had happened. Yet, Harry felt as if every one of his limbs had been immobilised and could only shake his head relentlessly, the streaks of tears threatening to take over his face at any moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though the common room was mostly vacant than, the small array of students who sat in its midst began to whisper at the sight of Harry, curious as to what had occurred. Hermione wearily looked around and grasped onto Harry’s arm, leading him towards the direction of the dormitories and away from the staring eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Let’s get him upstairs Ron.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron nodded, bewildered by the situation and unaware of how to match Hermione’s comforting tone. Yet, he helped her lead Harry to the dormitory and sat him down onto his bed as if he was a child in need of guidance. Sitting down next to Harry, their shoulders almost touching, Ron looked uneasily at Harry’s face and down to his soiled hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You have to tell us what happened mate,’ he muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione stood directly in front of Harry, nodding her head in agreement. Yet, Harry couldn’t control the shaking of his own body, feeling as if he was losing control over everything. He could feel the residue of Draco’s blood on his fingertips and wondered if the stains would ever leave his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry.’ Hermione whispered as a silence lapsed between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You were right,’ Harry said hoarsely. ‘God, you were right ‘Mione.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘The prince’s spells…I used one on Malfoy,’ Harry said, scrunching his eyes as if he was in pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Malfoy?’ Ron asked in surprise, eyes widened. ‘Is that his…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron’s eyes fell to red that stained Harry’s shirt and hands and Harry meekly nodded, feeling his stomach turn inside out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh god,’ Hermione breathed out, putting her hand over her mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before either of them could say anything more, Neville had bustled into the room, his expression filled with panicked frenzy as his eyes landed onto Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry, Professor Snape wants to see you in his office!’ He exclaimed; his voice faltered slightly at Harry’s appearance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stood up instantly, eager to know Draco’s condition when Neville added, ‘he also said to bring your potions textbook for some reason.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘How does he know?’ Ron said to Harry who could only shake his head in disbelief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Neville left the room, Harry looked helplessly to Hermione for an answer, knowing he couldn’t take the prince’s book. Somehow, Snape had recognised the spell and if anyone were to discover the prince’s textbook, not only would Harry be penalised for falsifying his abilities, but everyone would find out what a fraud he was. Hermione seemed deep in thought for a few moments before she moved to grab Ron’s potions book that lay on his bed.  Without warning, she thrust it into Harry’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Take Ron’s and pretend it’s yours for now,’ she instructed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What about…’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry glanced at his copy laying on his bedside table, it felt almost disgusting to even look at the worn cover now after knowing what atrocities lay within its pages. Following his gaze, Hermione picked it up and firmed her grasp on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’ll get rid of it in the Room of Requirement.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Do you want to keep it?’ Hermione asked, narrowing her eyes as if Harry was a criminal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head vigorously, panicked by her expression. ‘No, no. Get rid of it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Go mate.’ Ron said, looking more anxious that both Harry and Hermione combined.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry gave one last glance at the potion’s textbook, unable to even mourn its loss when it had manipulated him to commit such a heinous act. He hurried out of the dormitory, every step as strenuous as the last as Ron and Hermione began whispering between themselves as soon as Harry was out of sight. Yet, Harry was too consumed with hurriedly making it to Snape’s office to pay attention to their worried words and ignored the heads that turned towards his appearance as he strode across the castle. The flashing of Draco’s agonised expression in his mind made his heart constrict and Harry wanted to stop for a moment and wail out all the guilt till his throat was coarse. But he knew he couldn’t and forced his legs to continue carrying him to his destination.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape was expecting him, door left open as he stood leaned against his desk. The worry on his face was evident as he focused his eyes in the distance, indulged in deep thoughts that Harry could only assume were about Draco. After all, Snape had made an unbreakable vow. If Draco died, so would he.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Draco…is he okay?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the sound of Harry’s voice, Snape’s entire disposition changed, his eyes narrowed with hatred as he zeroed in on Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘How dare you even ask that question.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pupils shaking, Harry felt even dirtier than he already did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Mr Malfoy is in the hospital wing being treated for shock.’ Snape murmured, ‘he</span>
  <em>
    <span> is</span>
  </em>
  <span> alive thanks to the counter spells I performed but the scars of such a magical injury are permanent.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This made Harry want to openly cry, dismayed that his harm would leave permanent taints on Draco’s skin. Harry was beginning to wonder if he had been mistaken all along, he had accused Draco of being the villain and yet, Harry had been the only one adhering to the standards of one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I didn’t mean – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘The damage is done Potter. I see you like to viciously prey on others just like your father.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unable to even dispute this claim, Harry bowed his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’ve alerted the headmaster of what has occurred and sadly, he insistent on deciding your punishment yourself. But - ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape held out his hand, ‘I would like to take a look at your potions textbook.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry hesitantly raised it towards the professor and as Snape took it from his hand, the confusion immediately set into his greasy features. He, at first, gazed intently at the back and front of the textbook, seemingly searching for any signs of wear. And then, Snape opened the book, eyes lingering on the page where the prince had tainted his own copy with his name and began to flip through the book. After a few moments, he snapped his eyes back towards Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Are you sure this is your textbook Potter?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The suspicious tone he adopted confirmed to Harry that he was indeed familiar with the Half-Blood Prince.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Tell me then, where did you learn the spell you so confidently executed on Mr Malfoy today?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry mumbled the only thing he could think of, ‘overheard it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘And yet, you chose to use it without even knowing it’s origins or effects?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I really didn’t mean to hurt him.’ Harry said desperately, ‘if I knew what the spell did, I’d never have used it!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But you did.’ Snape snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Flinching slightly, Harry couldn’t argue against that. He had willingly chosen to use the spell and because of him, Draco was in the hospital wing. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>there's only three chapters left including an epilogue so not long left :( hopefully, the next chapter should be up by tuesday/wednesday &lt;3 Thank you for all the comments and for reading &lt;3 (also i apologise for all the angst)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. I Love You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>True to his word, Snape had alerted Dumbledore of the incident in the girls’ lavatory and the next day, Harry was called to the headmaster’s office. Harry’s friends were in a stage of awkwardness, not only confused by the devastation wedged into Harry’s disposition, but also unaware on how to comfort it. Despite their sad attempts to string out explanations from Harry, he kept his emotions bottled up deep within the pit of his stomach, hoping they would possibly dissolve in his stomach acid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The meagre tasks of sleeping and eating had also become strenuous, the guilt only eroded Harry’s resolve to continue on with basic necessities. There was a boisterous voice that stung at the back of Harry’s mind, continuously telling him that he didn’t deserve even a moment of peace after what he had inflicted upon Draco. It seemed inescapable, impossible to block out and Harry found himself indulging in simpler, comforting memories of him and Draco and their stolen moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s stomach somersaulted as he prepared himself for Dumbledore’s disappointment, knocking on the office door with his shaky hand. Upon hearing the headmaster's voice, Harry took firm steps inside, suddenly glad for the previous headmaster portraits that ensured he wouldn’t be alone with Dumbledore. Yet, Dumbledore’s face held none of the disgust Harry had expected, instead, his eyes were overfilling with sympathy and understanding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ah Harry,’ he said, ‘take a seat.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumbledore gestured to the only other vacant seat in the room and Harry nodded slightly before taking it. Silence lapsed between both professor and student as Harry focused his eyes on Fawkes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Professor Snape has made me aware of what occurred yesterday afternoon between you and Mr Malfoy.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swallowed uneasily, ‘I really didn’t mean for it to happen sir.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumbledore nodded his head, his expression showing that he was convinced of Harry’s lack of ill intention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘This isn’t an interrogation Harry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It isn’t?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking his head Dumbledore said, ‘Mr Malfoy’s insistence that you remain punishment free was enough indication that it was a mistake.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt his mouth dry. After everything he had done, Draco had defended him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I deserve to be punished though,’ Harry muttered, eyes falling to his intertwined hands that rested on his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh, don’t get me wrong Harry,’ Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling slightly. ‘You will be serving detention every Saturday for the rest of the term with Professor Snape but, that is where your punishment ends. You shan’t make a habit of dwelling upon guilt.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Dumbledore’s words were meant to comfort Harry, it didn’t lessen the guilt. Harry knew it was possible that he would have to live with it for the rest of his life, suffering as he failed to atone for his sins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes sir.’  He replied meekly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘That is not the reason I called you to my office tonight Harry. I have other business to discuss with you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry straightened up in his seat, ‘what is it?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I remember promising you that we would take the journey of collecting the next horcrux together and I do seem to have finally, after much searching, located one. Will you join me Friday night in my endeavour?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Of course, sir,’ Harry said immediately, eager to know what the next horcrux would be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumbledore smiled at his response and nodded his head in acknowledgment, ‘very well then. I hope to see you on Friday.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry got up from his seat, ready to tell his best friends of the news, Dumbledore called his name. He stopped in place and halfway turned towards the wizened professor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘One more thing, Mr Malfoy did seem to be significantly worried on your behalf. Perhaps paying him a visit would put him at ease?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bowing his head, Harry failed to say anything. Every mention of Draco only seemed to push his feet further into the ground, cementing him in place and allowing him no direction in which to escape. Despite nodding in agreement to the professor’s suggestion, days passed, and Harry didn’t dare to even breathe in the direction of the hospital wing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Friday came along, Harry was seated with Hermione in a secluded area of the library, his eyes were focused upon the streams of water flushing against the stain glassed window. A stray raindrop trailed down the cheek of the melancholic woman perched in the window and made her look as if she was weeping for someone, somewhere far. Even though Hermione was busily reading a book she had taken from the restricted section, she could tell that Harry’s mind was delved into a certain subject that she was unaware of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Penny for your thoughts?’ She asked, breaking through Harry’s trance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry let out a sigh as he removed his hand from the side of his face where it was previously pressed against and turned towards her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sorry, am I distracting you?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No,’ Hermione reassured him. ‘I can just see how much you’ve been tormenting yourself over what happened with Malfoy.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not replying immediately, Harry pursed his lips and stared at Hermione for several moments with an anxious taint smothering the features of his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Is it okay if I ask you a question?’ He asked finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione nodded briefly, her frizzy hair framing her petite face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Say it was…you and Ron who had an argument and he happened to do something similar to what I did – by accident of course. Do you think you would be able to ever forgive him?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The confusion passed through Hermione’s eyes, ‘you have to understand that Ron and I are different though, our relationship is way – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione cut herself off, her scrunched brows and frantic eyes showing that inside her head, the cogs were beginning to move and realise exactly why Harry had decided to compare himself and Draco to her and Ron. Harry stiffened in his chair, knowing that Hermione was too perceptive to not have noticed the miniscule hints that gestured towards his and Draco’s relationship. This had only been the final push to put the entire picture together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It wasn’t Cormac at all, was it?’ She asked quietly, her face slightly glummer now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry wet his lips, ‘I didn’t know how you’d take it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She leaned back in her chair, face full of surprise. ‘How did this even happen? I mean, you and Malfoy have been at each other’s throats for the past five years.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I think I love him.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The definiteness in Harry’s words made Hermione stop in horror as look at him as if he had grown a third head all of a sudden/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh god Harry, the things he’s done to you – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What about what I did to him?’ Harry cut in, his expression dropping even further now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You were defending yourself.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking his head vigorously, Harry leaned closer. ‘No, no. I was the one who threw the first spell, and I was the one who followed him all the way to the girls' lavatory. It was all me.’  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I know why you feel guilty. I really do Harry, it’s because you’re a good person.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m not so sure of that anymore.’ Harry muttered, eyes again gravitating towards the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Have you visited him?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He whipped his head back towards her, ‘of course not. It’s not like we’re actually together.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Does Malfoy know that you didn’t know what the spell did?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stopped to think and realised that even though he was completely certain that his intentions hadn’t been ill, it was more than possible that Draco thought otherwise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Well, no.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione gave him a sharp look, ‘you not visiting once or saying a word to him since the incident is probably making him doubt you Harry. I know you feel too guilty to face him but, maybe you need to. Maybe you just need to clarify things even if you aren’t together like you said. Maybe it’ll help you move on.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clenching his fists under the table, Harry was suddenly filled with contempt for the world he existed in. He knew Hermione didn’t mean to employ such a dismal tone when talking about his relationship with Draco, but it still bothered him immensely. No matter how hard he looked, Harry could find no one else who could support the perception of Draco that he had. There were parts of Draco that made him doubtful, yet there were many parts to him, tangible parts that signalled towards his good nature.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You didn’t answer the question.’ Harry mumbled after a few moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I would forgive Ron, especially if it was an accident and I know that Mal - Draco will do the same.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What if he doesn’t?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione followed Harry’s gaze towards the weeping lady, ‘then you’ll just have to forgive yourself.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later that night, with only an hour to spare before he would have to meet Dumbledore in his office, Harry stood outside the hospital wing entrance. He shifted on his feet and wondered if Draco had felt the exact same way when their roles had been reversed only a month ago. It had taken an extensive amount of courage for Harry to even make it here, he had almost decided against visiting Draco yet, something in the back of his mind had pushed him to. In case, it was the last time he would see Draco.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry could feel his hands shuddering at his sides as he walked into the wing, eyes immediately located the boy he was looking for. In the glimmer of the setting sky, Draco’s bare back that was faced towards Harry was scattered with hues of pink and orange. With his head bowed, Draco seemed to be buttoning up his trousers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Where are you going?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s words hung in the air, causing Draco to stiffen before he slowly turned around. The prominent scars on Draco’s chest were the first thing Harry noticed and his breathing hitched. They were significantly healed, yet the three, faint slashes were signals of what Harry had did and Draco grimaced in discomfort at Harry’s reaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh god,’ Harry breathed out, hand slightly raised as he stepped closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco flinched, ‘don’t touch me.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cracking of his voice made Harry’s hand falter and drop, his insides feeling as if they were being overtaken by spreading flames.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re scared of me,’ Harry whispered, the hurt making it into his words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No.’ Draco said quickly, ‘I could never be scared of you. I just don’t think we should be touching, especially not tonight.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though he had said this was so much conviction, Harry could tell Draco’s eyes were betraying him. The longing in them was too resolute to be overlooked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I wouldn’t blame you if you were. I did almost kill you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I almost killed you too Harry, I’m not innocent.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But you saved me!’ Harry exclaimed, face scrunched in a mixture of melancholy and anger. ‘You saved me and all I could do is watch you bleed.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco let out a sigh, his naked chest moving with the motion. He took a few steps towards Harry till he was directly in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I forgive you.’ Draco said firmly, eyes staring directly into Harry’s, ‘that’s what you needed to hear, right?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tear fell from the corner of Harry’s eye and he furiously rubbed it away with his sleeve, shaking his head frantically. ‘Stop, I don’t deserve it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry, did you know what that spell did?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The softness in Draco’s voice surprised him, Harry had expected him to be filled with malice and yet, here he was, acting anything but rightfully malicious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Then, I forgive you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Stop,’ Harry choked out, turning his head to the side so Draco wouldn’t see his flushed cheeks and wet face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Draco’s palm pressed against his cheek, Harry slowly looked towards him in shock. Their eyes met again, and a few moments passed with nothing but their mingled breathing filling in the air around them. It suddenly felt as if time had stopped in place and that no one, but them existed. Harry could only take in Draco’s features, pulling in the image of his rain-cloud eyes, his sharp nose and lastly, his lips that were coloured in the same mauve that had settled in the sky outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t only Harry who felt the pull between them, Draco’s eyes had also settled on his lips, the enormity of their desires making itself known. Yet, before each boy could act upon it, Draco let his hand fall and stepped away. Harry’s face was suddenly cold as Draco turned his back to him and began to button up his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I need to go.’ He muttered, struggling with his buttons.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The disappointment welled on Harry as he wished he had a time-turner that could possibly make the previous minute last for another moment. Another moment was all he needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Done with his shirt, Draco turned back to look at Harry. Some hesitancy crossed his face briefly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What are you doing tonight?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry furrowed his brows at the question, ‘why?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Never mind.’ Draco said hurriedly, ‘just…stay in your dorm tonight, please?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Is something going on?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, no. It’s cold, I don’t want you to catch a cold.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The excuse was flimsy and unbelievable, even Harry could determine this, yet, he didn’t say anything further. He figured he would just mention this to Dumbledore in case Draco’s words held a hidden meaning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Okay.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Letting out a breath of relief, Draco only nodded as he straightened up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Thank you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Where are you going?’ Harry asked, the anxiety building in his chest at the sight of Draco’s black suit that he was now wearing. ‘You’re dressed up.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco glanced down at his clothes and then back at Harry, ‘nowhere.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re lying Draco.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Harry,’ Draco said in a hoarse voice, ‘please just don’t ask any questions.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swallowed uneasily, ‘there’s still time.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, there isn’t. We both know that.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A silence lapsed and Harry could hear his heart crumbling in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Is this the last time then?’ he whispered, and Draco only nodded, unable to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Draco began to walk away, Harry’s eyes fell to the floor as he contemplated whether to say his next words or not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I love you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of Draco’s footsteps ceased as he froze in place and both of their respective hearts accelerated in their chests, beating on the same, erratic speed. The words were stuck in Draco’s throat, almost choking him, but no matter how painful it was, he swallowed them. Their sharp edges grazed his throat and made it raw as he began to walk again. Harry could only clench his hands and force himself not to cry any more. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter will be the final one and then there'll be a short epilogue chapter too! Thank you sm for reading and all the comments &lt;3 I should update by saturday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Bad Person</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning: violence, death.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>As Draco entered his dormitory, the exact person he had been looking for was already waiting for him. Theo was visibly dismal, frowning at the expensive garments Draco was wearing for tonight. He suddenly remembered the first time he had seen Draco in a suit, they had been the meagre age of ten and yet, Draco had been dressed like a gentleman for a simple Christmas party to which Theo had worn jeans too. It was this exact night that Theo had realised how Draco would always conform to his parents’ wishes even if it was something his better judgement told him not to do. But despite this, Theo didn’t think Draco was weak. Right now, Draco looked like the bravest person to ever exist in his eyes as he forced a smile to put Theo at ease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Do I look good?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo couldn’t bring himself to even smile back. Walking closer, Draco’s smile fell from his face and he placed his hand on Theo’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Theo.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Do you have to do this?’ Theo whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You know I do.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You can still back out – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco let out a bitter laugh, ‘I can’t gallop over to the good side now, I almost killed two people. They’d throw me in Azkaban.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo stood up from his bed and shook his head vigorously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Their fucking golden boy’s in love with you, they wouldn’t do that.’ Theo persisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grimacing, Draco turned his face to the side and focused on his bed. He could never bring Harry down with him, he refused to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You can’t change my mind Theo. Nothing you say will stop me from what I’m going to do.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo blinked a few times, registering Draco’s words and what they meant. He felt his body sink as he bowed his head to the ground, feeling more helpless than ever. Draco was right, there was nothing he could do. Nothing but, let his best friend walk towards a dangerous path.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’m sorry,’ Theo muttered, clenching his hands tightly till the skin over his knuckles was white.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Promise me one thing?’ Draco said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking up at him, Theo nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Promise me you won’t follow me or your father?’ Draco’s tone was filled with earnestness, ‘just…talk to Harry after tonight okay? Tell him that you want to be on their side, he’ll take care of you. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They’ll</span>
  </em>
  <span> take care of you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At these words, Theo was filled with a strange feeling. He felt almost guilty that whilst he could afford to be taken care of – by Draco and by the boy Draco loved – Draco couldn’t. Instead, he was being forced to become something no one ever wished to be, a murderer. All because Draco had no other choices, he had been pushed into a corner and any means of escape meant that those precious to him would only suffer. Theo only felt like a coward in comparison.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’ll do it.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if all the tension in his body had been released, Draco sighed out in relief. His eyes flickered towards the silver-plated watch on his wrist and his brows furrowed as he read the time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I have to go now.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes met as they said this and for a moment, it looked as if Theo would burst into a fit of tears, yet the tears never came. Instead, he took a few steps closer before encircling Draco’s frail frame in his arms. Draco was taken aback by the gesture, this was, after all, the first time Theo had ever shown any inkling of physical affection towards him. He couldn’t help but think about how warm Theo was and how much he had protected Draco over the course of thirteen years. And now, it was Draco’s turn to protect him, to protect everyone he loved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they pulled away, Draco couldn’t even move his lips. There was so much he wanted to say, yet he was unsure on how to say anything. He stood still for a few moments, just watching Theo before he nodded and turned to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You’re not a bad person Draco.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the second time that night, Draco froze in place. His feet felt like weighty, useless objects as his face warmed. He didn’t know how any of this was fair. Leaving behind the two people he cared for the most was painful, the most pain he would ever feel. And yet, he still walked away. Too tired to attest his villainy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After he was gone, Theo felt his legs become shaky and he collapsed onto Draco’s bed. As he gripped the silk sheets in his hands, Theo realised that it was possible he would never see Draco again. Tomorrow, Theo would choose the opposite side and then their differences would only swelter. Theo just hoped that they wouldn’t face each other on the battlefield, neither of them would be able to take that tragic turn of events.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes lingered towards Draco’s bedside table and on it lay a single envelope. Picking it up and examining the front, Theo knew exactly who Draco had meant to give this to and he had purposely left it for Theo to deliver. It was then that Theo began to shake, wondering why Draco was so selfless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The discomfort of apparation was a sensation Harry could never get used to. He shuddered as he and Dumbledore returned to outside of the Three Broomsticks where they had previously apparated from. The headmaster was in a significantly deteriorated condition after drinking the potion that had occupied the basin with the horcrux settled at the bottom. Harry’s arm was the only thing keeping his body upright and stopping him from collapsing onto the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Retrieving the horcrux had been much more strenuous that Harry had originally perceived it would be. He had assumed that they would simply venture into the cave and retrieve it within ten minutes, yet it had taken them much longer. The entire endeavour had ridden both professor and student exhausted, they had after all nearly missed death at the hands of the mysterious creatures that had occupied the caves waters. But their problems were far from over as Harry glanced towards the castle and felt a gasp splutter out of his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What is it Harry?’ Dumbledore muttered, too weak to even raise his head towards the formidable sky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sir…the dark mark.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumbledore was quick to raise his head this time, the strength surging through his body as he gazed at the perilous black and grey perched above the castle towers. He grasped onto Harry’s arm immediately and again, with as much effort he could muster in such a state, apparated them both to the top of the astronomy tower. Harry looked around in confusion, wondering why Dumbledore had brought them specifically to the astronomy tower when it was the hospital wing, he needed to be the most.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I’ll go get Madam Pomfrey,’ Harry quickly said, making a move to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A series of cackles and roaring sounds in the distance, however, stopped him in place and he looked towards the headmaster in fear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sir – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Take out your invisibility cloak and put it on right now Harry.’ Dumbledore instructed; hand pressed against the stone wall to ensure he wouldn’t collapse. ‘Hurry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry almost questioned why, but the desperation on the professor’s face and the resounding noise of thundering footsteps forced him to listen and encase himself within the folds of his cloak. As soon as the material had settled against his frame, Harry felt his entire body become rigid as if he was entirely turning into stone and his limbs became unable to move. The sensation had spread entirely through his body as Draco descended through the door, his wand raised and the disarming spell promptly streaming from his mouth. Dumbledore’s wand flew out of his hand and fell uselessly to the ground, suddenly meaningless and forgotten.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything suddenly made sense to Harry as he realised this is why Draco had been so adamant he stay within his dorms tonight and why Dumbledore had decided to apparate within the tower. Both men had been expecting the other and drawn this meeting out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Good evening Draco,’ Dumbledore said as if talking to a friend rather than an enemy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco grimaced, ‘I heard another voice, who were you talking to?’ His eyes darted around the room yet, even he could not locate where Harry stood, a bystander to the situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ah, just myself, Draco. From what I’ve heard, I would say we are not so different.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘That’s not true!’ Draco retorted angrily, ‘I’ve done things you wouldn’t imagine.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Do you refer to the Imperius curse you bestowed upon Madam Rosmerta, cursing Katie Bell or poisoning the mead that almost killed Harry Potter.’  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco’s mouth fell open slightly, ‘you knew.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Of course, I knew Draco.’ Dumbledore said softly, ‘they were very weak attempts at trying to assassinate me.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘They weren’t weak,’ Draco could only feebly defend himself, his eyes raw of tiredness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry could only move his eyes back and forth from Dumbledore’s unfitting calm demeanour and Draco’s shaking figure whose hand faltered, the wand failing to remain upright. He hadn’t even thought of the potential end goals to Draco’s actions and now that he knew, Harry could tell that it was the enormity of this task that had dampened Draco’s mind over the past year. This task had been the reason for his almost suicide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thundering of footsteps in a far distance made Dumbledore’s eyes flicker towards the doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You brought others into the castle, pray tell me, how you managed such a thing?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘The vanishing cabinet in the room of requirement. I mended it myself!’ Draco exclaimed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘It has a twin?’ Dumbledore inquired.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco nodded, strangely compliant with the questions being asked. ‘In Borgin and Burkes.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Harry could process the sprouts of information being thrown at him that were enough for him to put together the pieces, a gust of wind pushed through the tower and edged his invisibility cloak off his figure. Draco immediately turned towards his body with his wand, yet it fell as soon as he realised it was Harry. His face drained of colour as the footsteps seemed to be getting closer. Harry wished that he had some mobility, enough to tell Draco he could still turn away from a fate he wasn’t willing to wholeheartedly embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Draco.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even without the professor’s desperate plea, Draco was already rushing towards Harry. His slender fingers pulled the invisibility cloak down, his eyes raking in the last milliseconds of Harry’s pale face before it was covered safely from view. After Draco had done this, he had again positioned his wand towards Dumbledore as a group of death eaters streamed through the doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ah would you look at that!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry immediately recognised Draco’s aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange and the anger coursed through his bloodstream. The other menacing figures around her, he didn’t know, yet they all harboured the same ruthless exteriors as the rest of the death eaters Harry had encountered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Well done Draco,’ Bellatrix whispered in Draco’s ear with a delirious grin upon her rugged features.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Bellatrix, to what do I owe the pleasure.’ Dumbledore said in his continuously soft tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sorry Albus, I don’t think it’ll be a pleasure.’ She cackled and turned towards Draco, ‘do it Draco! Imagine the glory.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blinking rapidly under the cloak, Harry felt his heart constrict in his chest at the pained hesitation upon Draco’s tired face. Even with his wand raised, it was clear, he was not a murderer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘He doesn’t have the spine, just like his father.’ A man to his left chortled, causing Draco to wince uncomfortably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Enough of this.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry hadn’t felt more relieved to see Professor Snape walk through the doorway than ever before, knowing that he could possibly diffuse this entire situation. Letting out a breath of relief, Draco lowered his wand to his side, exposing his lack of willingness to even commit such a crime. Dumbledore smiled slightly at this motion and looked towards Snape who held eye contact as he moved into the centre of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No, this is Draco’s moment! He was chosen!’ Bellatrix boomed, yet Snape ignored her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Severus,’ Dumbledore murmured, causing the stoic man to falter slightly. ‘Please.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The panic began to bubble through Harry’s chest as he realised Snape wasn’t here to diffuse anything. Snape raised his wand higher and pointed directly towards Dumbledore’s heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Avada Kedavra!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In one moment, the professor had been hunched over and in the next, he was falling out of the astronomy tower from the same ledge Draco had almost launched himself off of a few months prior. Everything had happened so quickly that Harry hadn’t realised the mobility in his body was slowly returning like a spreading wildfire till Snape had dragged Draco out of the astronomy tower, the rejoicing death eaters following suit as they jeered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was once they were out of the tower that Harry realised, he could move and lurched forward, discarding his invisibility cloak. He was running down the spiral stairs, his heart hammering from not only the shock of what had just occurred but also from the patent betrayal raging through him. Harry could not think of anything else but raising his wand towards Snape and inflicting well-deserved damage upon him for what he had done. The pleading tone Dumbledore had used had pierced Harry’s heart, especially since he had been uselessly paralysed and unable to save him. After everything, Harry still remained powerless to save the ones he loved, and it was beginning to drown him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry descended the steps and began to run through the hallways, he could see various order members around him. They were all in a state of frenzy, Hermione and Ron were amongst them battling the lingering death eaters. Despite Lupin calling his name, Harry continued running after Snape and Draco’s distant figures being led by an ecstatic Bellatrix.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were moving much faster than Harry and he was out of breath as he followed, his eyes glanced towards the great hall which was now filled with debris and glass. Gone was the beautifully lit hall where Dumbledore had first welcomed them to Hogwarts in and now it was replaced with a lifeless, grey room, void of life and mirth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sweeping through the entrance and down the overarching hill, Harry saw red and orange embers in the distance, burning brightly. The goosebumps arose on his skin as he realised it was Hagrid’s hut that was on fire courtesy of Bellatrix who was now running into the folds of the forest. To his relief, Snape and Draco had stopped momentarily in shock and had allowed Harry to catch up to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘After everything he’s done for you, how dare you!’ Harry bellowed, raising his wand to Snape’s back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both men turned towards him in an instant. Draco’s mouth fell open as if he was having difficulty processing the entire situation raging around them. Snape, however, seemed less surprised and attempted to throw a wordless jinx at Harry. Yet, Harry was ready, throwing a counter jinx at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Stop it Potter.’ Snape said monotonously, his next jinx hitting Harry straight in the chest and making him double over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Professor – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco tried to cut in, but Harry wasn’t done yet, trying to throw another feeble curse at Snape’s figure. Snape deflected this again with a flick of his wand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘He begged you and you killed him without any hesitation!’ Harry cried, ‘how could you?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a wince that momentarily passed over Snape’s face, but before he could do anything Harry was yelling something else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sectum – ‘</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite Snape’s calm demeanour, the spell he shot at Harry was enough to blow him through the air and land on the grass with such force that his body ached. Harry tried to muster any string of strength left within his body to continue fighting yet his body was so numb that he failed to even raise his hand anymore. He lay still, scorched in pain as Snape’s footsteps grew closer. Looking up, Harry saw the fury lacing Snape’s face as he peered down at Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘How dare you use my own spell against me.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s eyes widened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape sneered, ‘yes, I am the half-blood prince.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With these words, he was gone, leaving Harry shaking with the countless revelations of the night. He could hear Snape’s voice calling for Draco to follow him, but only one pair of footsteps could be heard to be walking away. For a few moments, Harry thought he was alone amongst the dark sky and the sharp discomfort that mercilessly tainted his entire body. But the sound of small steps that came closer towards him and the soft, chilled fingers that touched Harry’s face belonged to none other than Draco. He was bent down next to Harry who’s eyes now stung, despite everything that had occurred tonight, Draco still looked as beautiful as he did the first time Harry had laid eyes upon him in Madam Malkins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Please don’t go,’ Harry begged in a hoarse voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco’s pupils shook as he breathed in Harry’s words, ‘I love you too.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was the last straw to break Harry’s heart completely. It had split into a million, tiny pieces, piercing his other organs and filling him with blood. Yet Draco didn’t say anything further, he lingered for a few moments, his lips slightly moving before he stood up and began to walk away. Harry couldn’t even try to stop him anymore, knowing that nothing could save their fate now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Draco walked away, he didn’t look back even once, his figure became smaller and smaller till the forbidden forest engulfed and swallowed him whole. The emotional turmoil Harry was suffering from was so paramount that he hadn’t even realised that Draco had performed a quick, healing spell upon his physical injuries. Even though the relief had settled upon his limbs, Harry couldn’t move, feeling as if he was again paralysed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the sheer sensation of laying discarded on the grass with the cold eating him up from every direction that made Harry wish he were dead. He had lost two people tonight, two people who only a few, meagre hours ago had spoken to him. They had gone so quickly that Harry didn’t know how he would process or handle the grief that would ensue the moment he rose from the ground. There was nowhere for him to go, no one to hold him like Draco had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Getting up only meant returning to reality and finding Dumbledore’s body. It would be lying lifeless at the foot of the astronomy tower now, possibly discovered by a stray, panicked student. Harry could only squeeze his eyes tightly as he tried desperately to gather any ounce of courage that was left within him. But no such ounce of courage seemed to come to him. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ahhh finally at the last chapter! I know a lot of you were anticipating a happy ending so I'm rlly sorry for the emotional pain I have inflicted :/ I'll be posting a short epilogue type chapter and then it's all over! Thank you sm for reading &lt;33</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Dear Harry,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I know I said my previous letter would be my last one and believe me, I did intend it to be. The last thing I ever wanted was to invade your life, but somehow, I still managed to. I don’t think I have ever thanked you for saving me that night at the astronomy tower, so thank you. You saved my life and I owe you everything. I wish I could give you everything, I really do, and I know you must hate me now, but if I had another choice, I wouldn’t have ever left you. Because Harry, you are the best person I know, inside and out. Ever since the day we met in Madam Malkins, I have lived my life wishing that I could have an ounce of the bravery you possess. I’ve always felt as if my life has been meaningless, I haven’t even lived for myself, but for my parents. But you, despite everything that has happened to you, you continue to live for yourself and I admire that more than you know. I always felt as if I had to have your attention in any way possible, even if it meant hurting you like I did and I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be brave like you and seek the help you said was available to me, but I am always afraid. Afraid of my loved ones being affected if I was to be selfish and I don’t think I would be able to live with myself if I was with you whilst my mother is with him. It’s strange that you never really questioned my motives for sending you those letters over the summer, somehow you just silently knew that I was reluctant to talk about them. I know I said I wrote them for my own sake and that is partially true, but I also wrote them for you because I could see how lonely you were. I noticed how you never cried in front of your friends and how you were too busy protecting other people’s emotions to recognise your own needed attention. I saw you Harry, I really saw you and I think you saw me too. I don’t what this letter will do, I don’t expect you to come save me, but I just wanted you to know that I didn’t leave because I didn’t love you. It was the opposite if anything, I love you too much to burden you. After tomorrow, everything will change, and I know that. We both have different paths we have to walk, but my heart is always yours, no matter what. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Yours forever,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Draco. </em>
</p><p>Over the course of the past year, Harry had read these words so many times that he had now committed the letter to memory. No matter where the trio had travelled, he had protected the flimsy piece of paper with his life, always ensuring it was with him before they departed for another destination. Harry was unsure how such a miniscule object could exercise this much control over him. It had transformed into a different person, someone only living for the next second in which he could read Draco’s scrawled writing as if it was a drug keeping him alive. </p><p>It was this letter that had exposed his relationship with Draco to Ron. One night, several weeks ago, Harry had fallen asleep with the letter clutched in his hands and this had resulted in Ron taking it from his sleeping figure and had read its content. His reaction the next day had been much more subdued than Harry had expected. It was Ron’s reaction that he had assumed would be the most disastrous due to all of the cruel things Draco had done to them all. Yet, Ron had only stared at Harry in shock for several minutes before he had proceeded to comfort a clear anxiety ridden Harry. </p><p>But even this instance hadn’t been enough to uplift Harry’s mood. He was constantly stuck within a realm of longing and grief that nothing could fill. Being around Hermione and Ron who had only grown stronger with Ron’s eventual return had weakened Harry, their relationship taunted him with images of what he and Draco could’ve been. And now, all Harry was the pending doom of facing Voldemort. The entire world was depending on him, each and every day a round of wizards who had died in his cause would settle onto his shoulders and make him feel weaker than he already was. Harry didn’t know how to control his own emotions anymore, feeling immensely guilty for being heart broken when people needed him. </p><p>Harry was sitting on his makeshift bed with the letter in his hands when Ron entered the tent and sighed at the sight of his best friend. </p><p>‘You hungry mate?’ He asked. </p><p>Without even raising his head, Harry replied in a flat tone, ‘no.’ </p><p>Ron walked closer till he was directly in front of Harry’s figure. This was enough to prompt Harry to put the letter in his jean pocket. </p><p>‘You sure? Hermione’s managed to make something good for once.’ </p><p>Usually such a remark would’ve been enough to make Harry chuckle, yet he was too burned out to even move his facial muscles more than necessary. </p><p>‘I’m not hungry.’ </p><p>‘Listen Harry – ‘ </p><p>‘I said I’m not hungry!’ Harry said angrily, raising his eyes to give Ron an irritated look. </p><p>The hurt passed over Ron’s face in an instance and he remained quiet for several moments, looking at Harry in an undefinable way. </p><p>‘Aren’t we enough for you?’ He asked quietly. </p><p>Harry gave him a confused look, ‘what?’ </p><p>‘I know you’re hurting; trust me I do.’ Ron said, shifting on his feet, ‘but you’re not even talking to me and Hermione anymore.’ </p><p>‘I just don’t feel like talking lately.’ </p><p>‘He’s not coming back Harry.’</p><p>Harry stood up in an instant, ‘don’t you think I know that?’ </p><p>Due to their raised voices, Hermione was quick to enter the tent and look frantically from boy to boy. </p><p>‘What on earth is going on?’ She asked, placing her hands onto her hips. </p><p>‘Nothing,’ Harry replied, ready to walk out of the tent for some fresh air. </p><p>‘You said we needed an intervention ‘Mione, now’s your chance.’ </p><p>Ron’s words were enough to make Harry stop in place and swivel his body to look at his best friend in indignation. </p><p>‘An intervention? I’m not a child!’ </p><p>Hermione glared at her boyfriend briefly before turning to Harry, ‘we know that Harry, we just want to help you, help you get through this all.’</p><p>‘Yeah,’ Ron added, walking till he was next to his girlfriend. ‘I’ve thought about things a lot, you know, all this stuff with you and Malfoy and I just can’t seem to wrap my head around it. I know somehow you’ve come to like him, but the state you’re in right now, I just don’t get how it’s all over a death eater who terrorised us for five years.’ </p><p>‘Ron!’ Hermione scolded as Harry’s brows furrowed and knitted in the centre of his wide forehead. </p><p>‘He’s not a death eater.’ </p><p>‘Yes, he is Harry, you can’t even deny it. You said it yourself, you saw his dark mark.’ </p><p>‘Just because he has the dark mark, doesn’t mean he’s a death eater. He doesn’t want to be one.’</p><p>‘Okay,’ Hermione cut in, standing between both boys. ‘That’s enough now.’ </p><p>Letting out a scoff, Ron ignored what his girlfriend had said, ‘are you forgetting about all those times he boasted about being a pure-blood and looked down on muggle-borns like Hermione? Sounds very death eater-esque to me.’ </p><p>Harry shook his head, ‘he was forced.’ </p><p>‘Tell me, who was he forced by Harry?’ </p><p>‘Stop Ron – ‘ </p><p>‘Everyone!’ Harry burst out, ‘his damn father, Voldemort – ‘ </p><p>‘Harry!’ Hermione screamed with such an intensity that both boys froze, ‘you can’t say his name. It’s taboo!’ </p><p>Before either of them could process Hermione’s words, the sound of voices could be heard from the outside of the tent. Harry immediately knew who they belonged too, the snatchers had found them, and it was all his fault. As he turned to his friends in panic, Harry was met with the sight of Hermione’s wand tip in his face before a searing flush spread across his face and made him gasp.</p><p>The snatchers were quick to enter the tent and all three of them knew there was no escaping now. </p><p>‘Well well, look at what we have here!’ One of them exclaimed, a buoyant looking man dressed in mismatched clothing. ‘Grab them!’ </p><p>Before either of them could make a move, they were all grasped by different, gruff-looking death eaters. Harry didn’t recognise any of them except one, the man holding Hermione was one he recognised very well. Fenrir Greyback, the ruthless, infamous werewolf. </p><p>‘Watch it,’ Ron barked at him as Hermione whitened in fear as the man held her hands. </p><p>Their supposed leader blocked Harry’s line of sight as he peered at his face, ‘well what happened to you ugly?’ </p><p>‘Allergies,’ Harry quickly said, his eyes glancing at the men now exploring through their tent.</p><p>The man cocked his head, ‘and your name?’ </p><p>‘Vernon Dudley.’ </p><p>‘Check the list,’ the man said to his side before turning towards Ron whose face was now as red as his face. ‘And yours?’ </p><p>‘Barny Weasley.’ </p><p>‘A blood traitor,’ the man spat bitterly. ‘You Weasley’s are just as worse as those filthy mudbloods.’ </p><p>It was when he turned towards Hermione that both Harry and Ron felt their hearts begin to hammer harder within their chests. Hermione, however, was visibly unmoved, holding her head up high despite her clenched jaw that Harry recognised as a sign of her fear. </p><p>‘And you?’ </p><p>‘Penelope Clearwater.’ </p><p>The man cocked his head at this, ‘are any of them on the list?’ He asked the clipboard man who had been busily sifting through the various papers. </p><p>‘No.’ </p><p>‘Better take these lot to the ministry then.’ </p><p>Harry felt the panic flourish through him as they were all dragged outside of the tent into the chilled night air. If they were taken to the ministry, it would be game over, everything would be over. </p><p>‘My father works at the ministry!’ He burst out all of a sudden, causing his best friends to look at him in bewilderment. ‘I should be on the list!’</p><p>The snatcher who had been holding Harry hostage suddenly loosened his grip ever so slightly as the man again began to sift through the list. </p><p>‘Wait a minute…I think there is a Dudley on the list.’ </p><p>The leader narrowed his eyes suspiciously and grabbed the clipboard from his hand and began to peer at it. Harry couldn’t believe his luck as the man looked back at him as if he suddenly believed his story. He almost let out a breath of relief before a snatcher came bursting out of the tent with the daily prophet clutched in his hold. </p><p>‘Look at this!’ He exclaimed, ‘this girly’s reportedly travelling with Potter.’ </p><p>On the newspaper he was thrusting in the other snatcher’s faces was a picture of was a picture of Hermione with the boisterous word mudblood pasted in capitals. They all immediately looked back and forth from the newspaper to Hermione who had considerably paled. </p><p>‘Change of the plans, we’re going to headquarters.’ The leader said, turning towards Harry with a sneering grin on his face. ‘I think we just caught Harry Potter.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>The supposed headquarters the man had been talking about had been a daunting manor settled in a secluded area of the countryside. The formidable towers leered above the trio as they were pushed forward by the snatchers who were busily discussing their supposed reward if they were to turn Harry over to the Dark Lord. </p><p>Harry was at loss on what to do next, he had looked helplessly at his best friends, yet they were all equally as dismal as each other. There was no escape from such a situation as this, none of the order members knew where they were. No one could come save them now. As they stopped at the gate, a man stood there looking at the snatchers distastefully. </p><p>‘What do you lot want?’ </p><p>The leader moved forward, ‘we have Harry Potter.’ </p><p>The guard’s eyes widened as he looked at Harry whose face was still red and puffy with the spell Hermione casted. Even though he looked unconvinced, he still moved to open the gate and allowed the snatchers to drag them across the winding path of the lawn. As Harry looked around, trying to determine where it was that they had been brought, he couldn’t help but feel as if he was somewhere significant, somewhere familiar. </p><p>It was only once they had entered the manor that he realised just where he was. Up above him was Draco, a painted Draco, who looked down at him in the same way he did on the first day they had met. Next to his young figure stood his parents, Narcissa and Lucius, both just as proud as their son. Harry felt his palms begin to sweat as they were suddenly being pulled away and into a dining room. He suddenly felt as if he had unconsciously led the snatchers to them, after all, only a few hours prior he had been wishing so desperately to see Draco again. And now, it seemed like, in some twisted way, his wish was going to be granted. </p><p>Ron glanced at Harry with his mouth parted, possibly thinking similar thoughts of how coincidental the entire situation was. But, as they delved into the dim room illuminated only by scattered lamps and a roaring fireplace, Draco was nowhere to be seen. Instead, it was his parents and belligerent aunt who stood eagerly waiting. </p><p>‘Well?’ Bellatrix said brightly, stepping closer into the light. ‘Where’s Potter?’ </p><p>All three pairs of eyes settled onto Harry in a mixture of disbelief and indignation.</p><p>‘Right here,’ the snatcher holding him chortled. </p><p>Lucius furrowed his brows, ‘that looks nothing like Potter.’ </p><p>‘Draco,’ Bellatrix suddenly said, turning to her hesitant sister. ‘Call Draco!’ </p><p>Narcissa looked as nervous as Harry as she nodded at the house elf who scampered away instantly. Feeling his breathing hitch, Harry felt a sharp kick at the back of his kneecaps force him down to the ground as Bellatrix looked towards Ron and Hermione. </p><p>‘Ah, would you look at that. There’s more.’ </p><p>Her lingering gaze on Hermione as if she was a piece of food to devour made Ron glare at her openly. Yet, before he could say anything, the sound of footsteps made Bellatrix divert her attention. </p><p>‘What is it – ‘</p><p>Draco stopped mid-sentence as he looked at the scene in front of him. At first, he saw Hermione and then moved towards Ron, his heart began to beat erratically as he finally turned towards the kneeled figure on the ground. </p><p>‘Come Draco,’ Bellatrix grabbed his elbow and brought him over to where Harry was. ‘We need you to tell us if this is Potter or not.</p><p>As Draco kneeled down in front of Harry, Harry felt the breath leave his lungs. It had been a long time since their eyes had met and now that they were, Harry felt as if he could collapse within Draco’s arms at any given moment. Draco’s face hadn’t changed much, yet the same taint of tiredness that had been on Draco’s face that night in the tower was still casted over his ashen skin. Draco’s pupils began to shake as he stared into Harry’s pleading ones, he already knew it was Harry, he could recognise him anywhere. But the pained look on his face was enough to show that he was afraid of speaking, knowing that anything he said would determine whether Harry lived or survived this. Not to mention, the spell Hermione had casted was slowly dissipating and with every moment that passed, Harry was looking more and more like himself. </p><p>‘What’s wrong with his face,’ Draco muttered, scanning Harry’s malformed face in worry. </p><p>‘We found him that way,’ a snatcher answered. </p><p>Draco shivered as his aunt came closer and bent down, ‘so?’</p><p>‘I can’t be sure.’ He said instantly, straightening up. ‘It could be anyone.’ </p><p>This time, it was Lucius who strode towards Draco and grasped onto his shoulder. Draco became rigged at his father’s touch and frowned. </p><p>‘Look carefully Draco…If we were the ones to hand Potter over to the Dark Lord, e-everything would be okay again.’ </p><p>The lead snatcher glared at this, ‘you won’t be the ones handing him over, we found him!’ </p><p>‘Quiet!’ Bellatrix screamed at him; her eyes shifted towards Greyback who was clutching the Gryffindor sword in his hands. ‘Where on earth did you get that? It was in my vault!’</p><p>Greyback shrugged, ‘it was in the girl’s bag.’ </p><p>Bellatrix looked towards Hermione in rage who was now shifting uncomfortably. Draco swallowed anxiously as he glanced at Harry and noticed that the spell was slowly wearing off now. Before anyone could notice, Draco stood in front of Harry, blocking him from view momentarily. The action was only noticed by Draco’s mother who glanced away instantaneously.</p><p>‘Take the boys down to the cellar!’ Bellatrix instructed, walking closer to Hermione till their faces were only inches apart. ‘I’d like to have a talk with this one.’</p><p>Draco was thrust aside as a snatcher took a hold of Harry and began dragging him towards the dungeons. He almost moved to do something, but Draco knew the only way he could possibly save Harry was if he was separated from his family. </p><p>‘Let me go!’ Ron yelled, struggling against the snatcher's grip as he desperately gazed at Hermione who was now shaking in fear. ‘Hermione!’ </p><p>Even as both boys were thrown into the dungeons and locked in, Ron wouldn’t stop yelling Hermione’s name. He was hysterical with fear as Hermione’s curdling screams began to resonate in the air. </p><p>‘Ron, calm down!’ Harry said, holding onto his arm in an act of comfort, ‘we can’t help her if you keep screaming, we need to think of a plan.’ </p><p>‘Harry?’ </p><p>Swivelling his body in one motion, Harry was taken aback to see Luna and Mr Ollivander emerge from the shadows, both looking considerably haggard. A goblin who was suspiciously eyeing both boys followed them, his eyes widening as he recognised Harry whose disguise had completely faltered now. </p><p>‘Luna?’ Harry said in surprise, ‘how long have you been here?’ </p><p>‘Quite a while,’ she replied rather chirpily. </p><p>Harry opened his mouth to ask more questions, yet the sound of footsteps made him turn towards the door. He staggered closer to the barred door as he realised it was Draco, his forehead creased with stress. </p><p>‘Goblin,’ he said curtly, ‘come closer to the door. The rest of you stand back, I don’t want to hurt anyone.’</p><p>With one look from Harry, Ron complied and took a step back. The goblin trudged towards the gate and quickly hobbled out as Draco cracked it open a little bit.</p><p>As Draco and the goblin turned to move up the stairs, Harry desperately called out, ‘Draco.’</p><p>‘One minute.’ </p><p>This was all he replied before moving out of Harry’s line of sight. </p><p>‘One minute?’ Ron queried, looking to Harry in confusion. </p><p>Harry was moving his eyes frantically as he delved deep into thought, trying to figure out what Draco’s words exactly meant. But there was no reason for him to even think as a popping sound announced Dobby’s arrival into the room. </p><p>‘Harry Potter sir!’ </p><p>‘Dobby?’</p><p>‘I come to save you Harry Potter!’ The house elf chirped, looking curiously at the other people around the room. </p><p>‘So that’s what he meant…’ Ron muttered under his breath. </p><p>‘Dobby, can you apparate in and out of this room?’ Harry asked eagerly, a plan already unfolding within his mind. </p><p>The house elf nodded vigorously, ‘yes Harry Potter sir, Mr Malfoy told Biddy to come get Dobby sir and Dobby must be helping Harry Potter escape.’ </p><p>Harry’s eyes glowed as he looked at from Ron to Dobby, ‘can you take Mr Ollivander and Luna - ‘ </p><p>‘Bill and Fleur’s cottage,’ Ron cut in, wincing at Hermione’s prolonged scream up ahead. ‘It’s a shell cottage on the outskirts of Tamworth.’</p><p>This was all Dobby needed to know as he immediately took a hold of both people’s hands within his. </p><p>Luna gazed fondly at him. ‘Whenever you’re ready sir,’ she said.</p><p>But before Dobby apparated them away, he briefly nodded towards the dungeon gate, allowing it to slowly creak open. Ron and Harry looked at each other as the others vanished, knowing that they wouldn’t be able to follow Luna and Ollivander just yet. They needed to rescue Hermione and first and Harry hoped that he could possibly save Draco too.</p><p>Before they could begin to step out, Wormtail had come barrelling down the stairs, his wand tightly clutched in his hands. The rage within Ron was not a force to be quelled as he instantaneously grasped the man by the collar of his shirt. </p><p>‘Drop your wand you grimy bastard.’ </p><p>‘Don’t hurt me,’ Wormtail squeaked out, abiding by Ron’s request and letting his wand fall to the ground. </p><p>Harry was quick to pick it up, following Ron up the stairs quietly as Wormtail surrendered behind them. As they crept up the stairs, both boys were given a clear view of what had been occurring in their absence. Hermione lay limp with exhaustion on the polished floor, arms outstretched as Bellatrix peered over her. Her yellow teeth glistened menacingly in the light as Narcissa turned away in distaste. Next to her, both Lucius and Draco stood, their faces indifferent to the entire affair. The goblin Draco had taken from the dungeons stood clutching the Gryffindor sword, a slash against his coarse cheek burning brightly. Harry had started to think of what to do next when Bellatrix again pointed her wand directly at Hermione in attempt to torture her some more. Something within Ron snapped and before Harry could stop him, he was moving towards her. </p><p>‘Expelliarmus!’  </p><p>The snatcher's wand practically flew into Harry’s hands allowing him to quickly turn towards Narcissa who was now charging towards him with a spell. Lucius Malfoy was the first to fight back, sneering at Ron as his personal vendetta against the Weasley’s began to surface. Bellatrix screamed behind them, ordering the fearful snatchers to do something yet none of them seemed to be listening. Harry could sense Narcissa raising her wand and disarmed her an instant, ready to mutter a spell in response when Draco stepped in between both of their figures. Instantly reminded of their broil in the girl’s lavatory, Harry shivered as he easily blocked the jinx Draco had sent his way. </p><p>‘Drop your wands!’ </p><p>Bellatrix’s menacing voices made all of them turn towards to see her grasping Hermione, wand pressed against her throat as if to threaten them. Ron instantly dropped his hand, his face whitening in alarm. Harry felt his breathing hitch as a squeaky noise above made him turn upwards to see Dobby settled on the chandelier situated above their heads. It seemed to also gain the attention of the others in the room as a few moments passed in silence before they all pushed backwards in different directions to avoid the crashing of the glass pieces against the floor. Whilst Ron grasped onto Hermione who had been pushed forward and shielded her from the glass, Draco had unconsciously moved in the opposite direction to his parents, barrelling straight towards Harry. Harry grabbed onto Draco’s arm, pulling to his side and amidst the chaos of everything, Dobby moved in front of all four of their bodies. </p><p>‘Quick Harry Potter and his friends, grab onto me!’ </p><p>As Draco hesitated, Harry grabbed onto his hand and guided it towards Dobby’s figure. His parents both looked at them with widened eyes as his aunt became hysterical. </p><p>‘How dare you defy your master!’ She spat, her eyes slowly moving from Dobby to Draco, ‘and you.’ Bellatrix’s eyes narrowed in on him, ‘what do you think you’re doing.’</p><p>‘Draco…’ Lucius muttered, causing Draco to look down at his feet. Harry’s hold only tightened at this. </p><p>‘I’m done.’ </p><p>‘And so is Dobby,’ Dobby raised his head higher, ‘Dobby and Master Draco are both free.’</p><p>Without any more prolongation, Dobby apparated them directly onto the beach outside Bill and Fleur’s cottage. As they landed, Draco’s body knocked against Harry’s, his arms shaking vigorously. </p><p>‘Draco,’ Harry said, holding him upright as the wind blew through their hair and the water splashed against their shoes. </p><p>Draco didn’t say anything for several moments, his head bowed before he muttered, ‘I have to go back.’ </p><p>‘No.’</p><p>‘My mother, she’s still there.’ </p><p>‘Draco, they’ll kill you if you go back- ‘ </p><p>‘THEY’LL KILL HER!’ Draco yelled, his pupils shaking as he finally looked up to meet Harry’s eyes. </p><p>Harry shook his head instantly, ‘she didn’t say anything, they won’t. I saw her face Draco, before we apparated, I saw the relief on her face.’ </p><p>Freezing in place, Draco’s eyes began to dart all around them as if he had just realised where exactly he was. He was no longer trapped in the manor surrounded by people who disgusted him, but he was outside, breathing the freshest air he had breathed in a long time. To the side of Harry and him were Ron and Hermione, closer to the shore. Ron was rocking Hermione back and forth, desperately trying to calm her as Dobby stood nearby looking rather hesitant. On the other side of their figures stood the sea, raging back and forth against the grey sky. Either way Draco looked was free of any constraint, free of anyone or anything that would again confine him. And in front of him stood Harry who hadn’t ended up hating Draco for the decisions he had made. </p><p>‘You told me not to save you, I know.’ Harry whispered, ‘but for some reason, the universe brought me to the manor today. It brought me there to save you Draco, so let me keep saving you, please.’ </p><p>Letting out a breath, Draco’s forehead pressed against Harry’s shoulder as he began to cry. He had waited so long for this day, waited so long to be free of his fate and to be within Harry’s arms and now, here he was. Even though there was no inclination as to what would occur the next day or the days after that, all Draco knew now was that he would live and die with Harry. That everything to come, they would do together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi! It took me awhile but here is this epilogue! I know it would've been better to write a sequel but i don't think i'd have any time to write one so I just decided to push a scene from DH into the epilogue. Thank you so much for reading this fanfic! I really appreciated all the lovely comments :(&lt;333 but yas #DRARRYHAPPYENDING WOOOH!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi! this is my first drarry fanfiction and I am so excited XD There will be lots of angst and lots of sexual tension since it is sixth year. But there will also be lots of reference to mental health issues so please don't read of this will be triggering for you :( thank you&lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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